I need help and direction

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
I need help and direction
8
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 1:18pm

My 5yo DS who is Adhd and possible AS is a very friendly and sociable kid, but has violent tendacies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 10:29am
Thanks again littleroses.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: graceateaa
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 3:57pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 3:33pm

Thanks a lot Kirsty for sharing your story and giving me hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:39pm

I hear you. I can only reiterate what the other posters have said|: you are not the only person to feel this way, and this is definately not the last time you will feel it. He will learn this, but it is going to take a long time, and a lot of patience on your part, and you will be teaching it over and over and over using different techniques until it sticks and he 'gets' it. And it will not happen quickly, but he will 'get' it. For us it took from us noticing the problem - that he would lash out extremely viciously when he felt threatened or when someone broke 'the rules' and I mean vicously, hands round the throat trying to kill them kind of thing - when he was 3 til now (ie he's 11) before I could confidently say he'd 'got' it and we could leave him alone in a situation where someone might break the rules. It took social stories, therapy, punishments, rewards, explanations and explanations (and since he has siblings and some of his violence was towards them, it was terrifying on a double level because it was MY CHILD both doing the threatening and being threatened and I had to somehow find a way to protect and teach both of them how to deal with it)

do not beat yourself up, this is not your fault. And it will help to be honest with yourself and with other parents: it is much better to say 'DS has ASD and he may not understand how to play appropriately sometimes' than to pretend it is ok. Be vigiliant, hypervigilant, and treat every trangression as a learning opportunity, not as something to get upset over.

Someday, you will be posting here about your wonderful, empathetic, sensitive, caring 11 year old to a parent of a 5 year old at the end of their tether. Trust me, it will happen :-)

Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers - also has a dog, which has helped a *lot*) rohan (7, NT, who has had to learn taekwondo) and Maeve (4, NT)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 10:51am
Thank you so much Heather, I knew I could count on you all -- I wanted to tell someone besides my husband when it happened, but I knew no one will understand, not even my sister because they have never been in this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 5:44pm

Yup!

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:52pm

Thank you so much littleroses for sharing your story with me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: graceateaa
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 1:57pm