I need to vent!
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| Thu, 08-31-2006 - 8:18am |
I haven't had two decent nights sleep in a row since the beginning of August. Ian keeps waking up in the middle of the night and raiding the pantry or watching TV or he comes in and gets into bed with us. He went to the nurse's office last week and took a nap at school. I cannot stay up all night policing whether or not he stays in bed and gets enough sleep. I'm losing my empathy for this kid because I don't think he's trying. He knows he has ADHD and Aspergers and says stuff like, "Can I help it if I have ADHD?" He slept very soundly during the summer, so I know it's anxiety over school, but I'm truly getting sick to death of spending inordinate amounts of time, money and energy into trying to make things all better for him. He's not helping himself enough. All of the strategies we worked on, like reading a book if he wakes up at night or turning on some soothing music, he's not doing. I'm beginning to feel extremely put upon. He also is making outrageous demands (and he's very persistent) for things he knows he can't have. Then he starts chanting, "I want it! I want it! I want it!" and crying hysterically. Other times he gets goofy and lays on the floor with his eyes closed and his tongue hanging out, claiming to be road kill.
Crap! I finally get Duncan situated, making huge strides, and then Ian starts in. If it's not one of them, it's the other, and if not one or the other, it's both.
Then there's my husband. He stays up late. Because I'm already angry about not getting nearly enough sleep to deal with two autistic children, manage the finances, the house, everyone's schedules, cook and clean, I'm easy to wake. He comes to bed and turns on the TV. He can't find the remote, he's fiddling around looking for it and, if I was asleep, I'm not now, and with the TV on and him using me as a body pillow, I'm not likely to get any sleep at this point, about 12:30 - 1:30 by now, and I have to get up at 6:30 for Ian, and chances are he will be waking up within the next 2 hours and I'll have to get up and deal with him. My husband knows this, we've had the conversation about it at least 200 times, no exageration, but I'm convinced he's got Asperger's too and does not LEARN from our discussions. He continues to use me as a pillow, wake me when he comes in to bed, etc. And then, "Hey, ya wanna quickie?" I'm thinking, "Ya wanna die much???" He also is very unconcerned about the kids' issues and just walks around going "Lalalala, I don't want to know, lalalala." I feel like it's all on me to research, go to doctor's appointments, deal with the school, etc. and I'm totally overloaded. A few years ago he said, "Well, I have this thing I do all day. It's called WORKING." Needless to say, he only said that ONCE! But I have a very long memory and I KNOW he's thinking it.
I swear, I'm leaving town and changing my name so no one can find me!!!
Kelly
(Who is not at all remorseful for having these feelings, at least not at the moment.)

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oh..okay..i think we've had a few discussions on this board and here are a few articles to start your research
http://www.annieappleseedproject.org/melinchilwsl.html
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/448467
this article has several other articles linked within it
http://www.worldhealth.net/p/4187,4473.html
Edited 8/31/2006 9:02 pm ET by decson
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