I posted a few months ago

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Registered: 03-26-2003
I posted a few months ago
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Wed, 10-15-2003 - 2:11pm

About my ds and he was going to have a full behavior evu but the waiting list was huge and we moved about 5 weeks ago. We changed states so I have to find a new ped and figure out the best type for ds to finsh finding out what kind of help he needs. How do I find the perfect ped? What questions do I ask before even making an appointment?


Also a little update. He handled moving well. He wanted to move and once he knew for sure we were moving (a week before we did, it was a quick move) he refused to go to school where he was going. It took a week to get hings straight up here to get him in school and in the special ed program so he didn't have to move. So he was able to get use to things before starting sschool. We went in and met his teacher before he started. he took to her right away! It was amazing. he did great the first few weeks of school. Now he is having bad days at school. He gets upset whenhe doesnt get his homeowrk done at night becuase he misses out on recess. i try and get him to do it but a couple of nights we have had bad nights and I havent faught him about it. Yesterday his teacher called me to see if he had taken his pill because he wasnt having a good day. But he had taken it. He came home and things went smoothly untill bedtime. I sent him at 8 and read him a story and he did fine but then about 10 minutes later he flipped out. I put him back in bed serval times, took a way all of todays computer time (he was getting an hour if he went to bed easily, got up easily and had a good day at school- took a few minutes away for each that didnt happen), and it did no good. He has to have the over head light on at night to sleep and most nights he will go to sleep easily with it on. he is more worried baout someone coming in after him to have the light hurt his eyes. Up till the last week he had to have his window closed because he was sure someone would come in there nad steal him. I took the bulb out telling him Iould put it back when he got in bed and stayed in bed. No good. He stood in the hall chanting my ligh, my light over and over. I told him get in bed and I will put the light back in. He would flop back on his bed and say no light. Grrr! So I held his door closed. This freaked him out and I could hear the panic in his voice. It took 3 times before he got I was serous and he had to go to bed and he laid donw. Gave me a hug and went to sleep in minutes. It was only 9:30 and an hour in half after bed time. I was worried we would have a bad moning but he got up easily. Not a perfect morning. I told him a few times to get out of bed before he did and then a few times to get dressed before he did (but I didnt have to fight him to get dressed like I did one morning he didnt have his homeowrk done) and a few times to eat before he did. But he was up, dressed and ready to go in time to catch the bus!


Ready for the reason why he had a bad day yesterday? It was the first day here that he rode the school bus and the first time he has rode a school bus in a year. It is a small bus so I dont think it was loud (I should talk to the bus driver thou and warn her huh?). I think it was the change of going on the bus that upset him and set him off for the day. he has a pill he takes at night that is suppose to help him sleep but it didnt last night. Hubby says it takes an hour to work when he is worked up and it tooka little over that (hubby wasnt home last night). But when he gets like this he is swears he can not take his pill till bed time since that is when he usully takes it and


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Wed, 10-15-2003 - 6:59pm
Hello,

He does sound alot like my 7 y.o. son right to the spider thing. He also sounds like he is under a lot of stress right now with the sudden increase in behavior.

A couple quick thoughts. First, how to find a good pediatrician. You could try calling your local ASA and see if they had recomendations. The other thought is to do what I did. Start calling pediatric practices on your insurance, explain the situation and ask if they have a doctor that is experienced with this type of child. I called a few practices. The one I ended up with the nurses suggested my current doc who is actually a developmental pediatrician and absolutely lovely. I don't know how often developmental peds have their own case load and practice, but I have found it really great.

Next, on school. You may want to consider asking for modified homework. It has been the best thing we have ever done. Many of these kids have used up everything they have during the day and just cannot finish their homework at night. Then they have recess taken away which is a great sensory outlet for them during the day and the cycle starts all over. Add on top of that the stress from not completing the previous homework and that hanging over their head, well you end up with a vicous cycle. Currently what I do is ask the teacher how much time per night they expect a child to spend on homework. Then I work out with them having my kids work for that long on the homework that is sent home. What ever is complete we send in. Most nights now that the pressure is off we can complete what is sent home, but on the other (bad0 nights I just don't worry about it. I know they just don't have it in them that night. I just sign off where we finished. The teachers have ok'd that. My only criteria is that the kids actually try. I don't let them be finished if they are just goofing off because they don't think they have to be done. Trust me they have tried that.

As for the bus, is it still a problem or has that resolved. Was is just the change or is something more going on. If so you may want to investigate that and see what can be done to help the bus situation.

As for the spider, we have taken Mike to a psychologist for that. It turned into a full blown phobia on all bugs. He helped Mike come up with a little routine for bugs. If he sees a bug just "leave it alone" if you see godzilla "RUN AWAY". It got Mike to laugh, he was into godzilla at the time. He had him pick a favorite movie character (another Mike thing) and pretend to be that character and that character wouldn't be afraid of spiders and they would just "leave it alone". He also taught us some relaxation techniques that helped.

Biggest thing he did was to emphasize to me to stop rescuing Mike by killing every bug. By trying to take care of the bug problem for Mike I was actually relaying the message that there was infact something to be afraid of. I absolutely was not to run to his assistance to kill bugs anymore. If they are in my house I can kill them, outside just leave them be. Even inside I was to be nonchalant and just tell him, I will get to it soon Mike, no big deal. No more checking his room at night for bugs, checking the bathroom before he went in, setting up a nice movie while everyone else was outside so he didn't have to go. He could stay in, but no special or fun activities.

have a good one and good luck. Best thing to start with in a new area is find your local ASA (Autism Society of America) and they will have all the resources. There is a main website that lists local chapters.

Renee

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Wed, 10-15-2003 - 7:51pm

I put in a call to my local chapter 2 weeks ago and the call was returned today 2 minutes after I stepped outside to get them off the bus so I missed the call. Didnt even think to take the phone with me since it doesnt work at the bus stop and I wasnt accpeting anyone to call. I called the guy back but of course got his machine. I am going to ry a few times tomorrow. It would probbaly be better if I can talk to him when ds isn't home so he doesn't hear me talk about him. Not sure how well that will go over. So during the day I am going to call this guy non stop till I get an answer!


As far as home work goes it is one page of math that when ds sits down to do it takes him 20 to 30 minutes depending on how much playing around he does. Then he has a book that he can read or I can read to him and most nights


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Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 11:00pm
April

Am I remebering correctly that you moved to NC? If so, look in the phone book for TEAACH. They are centers affliiated with UNC throughout the state. They can evaluate him, if that's what you're after. I'm going to feel like an idiot if you're in some other state!

Sio

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 11:03pm
Oh, I did get it wrong! Sorry! Hey, the goods news is, in SC they have a special type of Medicaid kids on the spectrum are eligible for that helps out with areas that your ins. wont cover, like OT and that stuff! I'll try and get the name of that. My best friend, who's son is AS just moved right outside of Charlotte, but in SC.

Sio

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Wed, 10-15-2003 - 11:57pm
Np you were close, lol. And I am close to SC. I am in Spatanburg. Hoping I can get ahold of that place I have been trying to call tomorrow. I actully have apersons name to call so that might make it easier.



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Thu, 10-16-2003 - 12:48am
It might go easier for you if you set up a set routine for the evening. Figure out what will work best for your family and for him for homework and then stick to that time as much as possible. Then you can also set up some reinforcer for when he is finished. What ever will work for you.

For instance our afterschool routine is after we arrive at home they play outside while I go through their backpacks and set out the homework materials usually about an hour. I write Mike a list of what he needs to complete that night. Cait's list is done at school. Then they do homework. After homework they earn a marble (they earn marbles for everything and each is worth 10 cents on Friday. They also lose marbles for bad behavior). Then Mike can play video games until dinner (about 1/2 an hour) After dinner they do thier bedtime checklists which include the usual evening routine stuff and as they get older they are getting responsible for getting stuff ready for school the next day and some simple chores. When they are done with those then they can play, watch TV and play video games until bed.

The key for Mike is that there are no video games until he is done with homework. Also, I give them warnings, "10 minutes until homework" and the like. For the most part our routine is the same every night and it helps incredibly or there would absolutely be no getting anything done. Also, I write everything down and before they could read it was all in picture lists. ASD kids are very visual and visual checklists help tremendously.

That is what works for us. I know wen I start asking them to do something without a specific plan for time, then they don't do it. Unfortunately that is where we need to be real structured for these kind of kiddo's. It is very typical for the ASD kind of kid to really need that kind of structure.

Renee

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Thu, 10-16-2003 - 1:25am

I will start working on this. I am going to make sure dinner is done by 6. This way he should have at least 30 minutes to watch tv before doing homework. For some reason he wont do it till 7. He never has much so it is ok to do it at 7 for him. If I wait till 7 he will do it with no problem but not any time before. Maybe he is just alittle control freak? lol


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Thu, 10-16-2003 - 10:46am
Good for you. I can see with all the things your are really doing a great job and putting a great effort into it.

As for the checklist, I am not sure what you mean about the "did easily" thing. Do you mean when he checks off something he has the choice of rating how he did? I think that may be an excellent idea to help him learn to self monitor his own behavior, as long as it doesn't become another control issue. In other words, he always wants to check off that he did it well and it turns into another battle all together. Only you will know that. To avoid the battle, you could start by doing the checking or making it separate from the checklist. For instance he just checks off what is done and you have a separate thing, maybe even stickers that you give when he did something easily and those stickers eventually add up to something like extra TV time or some treat.

For the checklist you may even want to put taking his meds on the end of that so it becomes routine to take it then. You could give him some sort of snack with his med (which I am betting is clonodine or catapress) at the end of homework and before TV. That way the med is given a bit earlier to help take effect and it is a nice transitional activity between the 2. If it is written on his checklist then there may be less argument about it because it is expected.

for instance

____ Math Worksheet

____ Read

____ medicine and snack

____ TV

Good luck

Renee

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