I really need to talk
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| Thu, 01-25-2007 - 2:13pm |
I had an episode with my son last night. I wrote about it on renee's thread, which I shouldn't of done. I'm sorry, I just was stuck with everything that went on last night, that I started typing and couldn't stop.
I'm so depressed. This morning their was another episode, not quite as bad as last night with the violence, but he was throwing things, yelling etc. I couldn't keep my cool so I was loosing it with yelling. The only way I could get it to stop was by pretending that I called the school to cancel a field trip he was going on today, until he could gain some kind of control. Well it worked enough until I could get the kids out of the house and to the school. The reason for this mornings episode was because he didn't get up at the time he insists he needs to get up at. See with Chris, he has this special time he HAS to get up at every morning. 6:30. Well I don't do mornings very well at all, so most of the time I don't get up until 7. I can't walk in to wake him and mention the time at all, because it sends him into a tail spin because its not 6:30. So I avoid it, and hope he doesn't look. If he doesn't everything goes smoothly. Also, say I over sleep (which wouldn't be a suprise for me) and its 7:30 and we have to rush a bit. Well I have learned I cannot mention oversleeping at all, because he freaks out. So my way around that is to walk in like everything is normal, and just kinda get things moving a bit faster.
Well this morning I got up at 6:20. I went in and woke chris, telling him the time (I knew he would like that lol) and he was so excited as today was a field trip. He got his clothes, and I went back to my room to watch some tv. I knew I didn't have to get my other son up until 7. Well big mistake, as I was cold and got under the covers. I fell asleep. Well so did Chris UGHHH. So I awake at 8. And you know the rest....
I just can't handle this anymore. I have been dealing with this for years, not realizing this was not normal you know? I never put two and two together to see these are like OCD behavior. I could just kick myself for falling back to sleep, as I know this wouldn't of happened if I had just stayed awake. I also feel bad for loosing it, but after the exhaustion of last night, combined with this morning, I just couldn't be the mom thats supposed to be calm, and understanding.
Anyway, The Doc said he has "traits" of AS. When I told him of a few more behaviors I was concerned about (mentioned in another thread) he decided to do more testing. But what I'm afraid of, is that he will not get a dx, and that will mean he won't get any help with these kind of things. I mean really, whats the difference between "Traits" and a DX????? Their still pretty much the same thing. And that frustrates me.
Okay thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to call the doc and tell him about last night and this mornings episodes, and then maybe just crawl back into bed, as I just can't get myself to do anything else today.
Lainie

((((Lainie))))
The whole have to get up at a certain time thing is what my neice does. I stayed with them last night and she was sure to tell me I HAD to get her up at 6:30 because she HAS to get up at 6:30! LOL She is NT though so she's be mad if she got up late but it wouldn't be the end of the world.
If it were me I'd buy him an alarm clock and sit him down and say real calmly from now on it is your responsibility to get yourself up on time in the morning. Show him and help him set up the clock. If he falls back asleep then stay dead calm (that's the hard part!) Know in your heart it is his responsibility to get him self up and you are teaching him a very important skill. That will help you stay calm.
Crossing my fingers for you with the doctor. Tell him what you said about your fears for him if he doesn't get the dx.
Samantha
Thank you Renee for your email. I really needed to talk. And thank you Samantha for your support too. See the problem is I did try the alarm clock, but he just doesn't wake up. I will try again, maybe giving him one with a different sound might do the trick. I just don't understand how he can pick up noises all the time that I don't even notice, but then not to hear the sound of the clock lol. Usually once he's up, he's up tho.
I'm feeling alot better now. Part of this problem is the waiting game, and I'm so tired of the wait. I'm trying to decide wether to Call the doc, or just send him an email with the details of what went on last night and this morning. He hasn't been this bad since 3rd grade with the violent thing. He's 10 now, if something doesn't happen to help him, whats going to happen if he does this at 17? I don't even want to think of it.
Thanks so much. I know you guys know how I feel. And it sucks big time.
Lainie
Who's doing the diagnostic testing for you? Do you have other options for people who can do the testing? I guess why I'm wondering is because I just got official dx for my 12yo dd today: Asperger's (ds dx is next month). I was actually a little surprised because I was expecting PDD based on some things the docs had been telling me. I figure if my dd qualifies as AS, surely your ds has got to qualify for something more than "traits" of AS, when his issues sound more pronounced than my dd!
We are fortunate to be near (relatively near) a Children's Hospital which has a whole neuropsych diagnostic team. Dd met with psychiatrist, neuropsychologist, and some other people (speech therapist was one, I think). I also had to meet with several of them as well as filled out several forms about dd. It was quite comprehensive. Several months ago when we met with a neurologist, he told us (after a brief oral interview with me and the kids) that he didn't think my kids were AS but that it might be worth testing to be sure (I'm not sure whether he offered testing only as a result of my breaking down and bawling in his office after being told one time too many that my kids didn't have a problem, or whether he would have suggested the testing anyway).
My point is that our dx with this team of professionals is almost exactly in line with what I thought was going on with my kids, but the dx is far different than what the other professionals thought was going on (pediatrician, the first "autism therapist" we saw, neurologist). If you have someone else you can go to for more comprehensive testing and diagnosis, it would probably be worth your while.
I'm sure I can't be the first parent that wasn't surprised to get an AS diagnosis for their child, but the medical team seemed to be a little surprised at my elation over getting an AS dx. Of course I'm not thrilled that my kids have issues that affect them and those around them, but we've KNOWN for a long time that they had issues. It wasn't a surprise. We're just so excited to finally have an official dx now, so we can begin getting helps for them. It's so nice to be pointed in a positive direction finally instead of being told, "nope, that's normal!"
I hope you can find similar help for your ds soon!
Awwww thank you so much, well the doc listened to me when he said traits and I gave more info. I also told him my 7 yr old has alot of tics, and he runs around making odd sounds over and over again. He also punches himself in the head and makes lots of facial grimaces. The first thing out of his mouth was Tourettes.
He jumped up and said you never told me about this stuff, and I am only going by what I have observed with him and what you have told me so far. He said I will do more testing.
Now he said the emotional testing will say for sure. If anyone can answer this question, does that mean if he is delayed with emotions, like empathy or something? I'm confused here with what the emotional testing will tell?
Anyway, I decided to jot things down like a journal, to give to him. Tell him everything. There's just so much to say you know? But I know I don't want to walk away without telling him everything.
Lainie