I What?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
I What?
8
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 11:59am
Grrrr! This really burns me! I have an older daughter who is 21. She informed me today that Danny (my 8 year old son who is pdd) behaves the way he does because I TRAINED him to be that way. She said that she read on the internet that pdd kids are pdd because their parents have taught them to be that way. I don't know where she found this information. But now she is criticising the way I handle my son. She says that when he has an explosive temper that I should spank him and make him stay in his room for the rest of the day. I have tried to tell her that these techniques don't work for him...he just doesn't get it. What's worse is that her mind is made up. I can't say anything to get her to realize that what she has read isn't the truth. She seems to revel in her idea that I am not being a good parent to my son. Wanda.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 2:05pm

I have a 20 yr old and she was like this before the Dx's. (I actully think she was like this before, because of jealousy and sibling rivarly (sp?). You know..... the "I raised her differently than I raised her little brothers", kinda thing....

I am relieved to see she started understanding after I told her. She said wow mom, It totally makes sense now! But with my dd, I am very lucky.

I do have other family members who respond in a stupid way with the Dx. My Sil and Mil claimed that Chris can just grow out of it! LOL. My neices new husband just got mad and yelled at Nic for having a belching tic on the 4th of july.... (He has severe
tourettes)... many other things they just don't understand.

As for people like this, educate as best as you can, but remember, they will think what they want to think and it comes to a point to where you gotta put your hand up and say "Talk to the hand" LOL. And also remember, your dd is still very young. She will probably get it eventually, but when we were young, remember we were right and never wrong? lol

Good luck, maybe a good book going her way might help too?

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 2:14pm

She probably got it from somebody's blog. There are a ton of Autism blogs out there and some of them are very interesting. Some of them

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 6:14pm

delete




Edited 2/19/2008 1:39 pm ET by littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 7:54pm
Boy there's alot of junk info out there. Unfortunately there are alot of people who are misinformed. I once had the principal at my Aspie's school tell me there was nothing wrong with him, I just needed to frustrate him more so he could get used to dealing with it! This man has degrees both in psychology and special education so go figure that. As the others have said your daughter is young and young people tend to think they know it all. (I certainly did when I was 20, boy was I wrong.) The one thing I've learned on this journey is that it can be a lonely ride. Thank goodness we can come here and vent when the rest of the world doesn't understand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 9:08pm

So Sorry. I remember beign in my young 20's and I distinctly remember being stupid and oppinionated and convinced I was ALWAYS right and my parents were idiots. I think it is a phase young adults go through as entering adult hood and fortunately at some point they realize their idiocy.

Lainie, I wonder if part of your dd's understanding in this is due to her being a parent as well? makes you grow up and see things differently I think.

I wouldn't take it personally. I wouldn't get into it with her either. Perhaps just let her know that whatever she has said is very hurtful and you don't need to have these discussions.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 10:07pm

I think your right on that too Renee. Also its nice since becoming a parent, and learning more about their dx's she has actually asked to have the boys over. I think she's really starting to mature (thank god lol) and wanting to be that big sister she didn't want to be when she was 16 and they were just a hassel.

Just when you think they didn't hear a word you said while growing up, you realize they really did :).

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 1:49am

Wanda,


Well, you know, we parents do train our kids to be the way they are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
In reply to: mom_2twins
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 9:37am

Just have her read "The Science and Fiction of Autism"...it was recommended by my daughter's doctor and is great. It discusses all the myths regarding autism (and the spectrum), such as "refrigerator moms" or it's the parents fault, the debate over the MMR vaccine, and the best treatments. My daughter was just diagnosed last week so this is all new to me and it's provided me with such insight into the disorder.

Hope that helps!