If this was a test...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
If this was a test...
12
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 6:11am

If this was a test, I sure hope we both passed. Yesterday morning, Haley fell in gym and broke her arm. She dislocated and fractured her right elbow. I have never seen her in so much pain and it just killed me not being able to make it better. She had to have surgery to put in two pins to hold the elbow together. It was the most horrible ordeal I have ever been through with her. She is not only an Aspie but she has major anxiety issues. She was screaming at the top of her lungs for so long. We were at the hospital for a total of 13 hours and most of it was spent with her screaming. Of course the doctor had to come in and talk about surgery right in front of her and I was like, "No... we need to talk outside. She can't hear this right now!" But it was too late. She heard.

Long, long, long story short, she did very well and is home resting. I have always worried about how she would handle things if she ever had to be in the hospital and now I know. Not well. But I am so proud of her and she is getting a nice reward for being so brave and getting through this.

Now the school on the other hand won't be so lucky. I am ready to rip someone apart over this. For one thing, when I was there picking Haley up, she was screaming in pain and I was trying to get her out the door. The teacher brought up her things and immediately started explaining homework assignments to me! WHAT??? Um, my daughter is in serious pain and she has the nerve to stand there and explain homework? OMG!!!

And then there is the worthless gym teacher of hers. Apparently, while she was on the floor screaming, he stood there and did nothing. Another class's teacher had to come help her!! I want his head on a platter right now. I'm extremely angry over this. It may or may not be his fault that this happened but the fact that he did nothing at all makes me a bit angry. What, did he think she was faking? Typical. Same thing happened when my oldest daughter broke her ankle last year.

I think the school needs to be held responsible for this... accident or not. And I'm not 100% sure yet if it was really an accident so we'll see. But I've informed them already that she had to have surgery and I'm going to be calling them again next week. We have military insurance that will cover 100% but I think the school needs to pick up the tab for this one. Either way, they aren't getting off easy after the day/night we both had yesterday.




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 9:30am

OMG Jill,


That is so awful. I hope Haley is feeling a little better today and has good pain management.

-Paula

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 9:51am

I was going to say the same as Paula. I carry a letter myself. Yesterday I began the process to get Cait a medic alert bracelet and I am considering getting Mike one too. For Cait it is for her seizures but for Mike it would be in case I am not there and he needs to go to the hospital. The letter has helped A LOT in every situation I had to use it.

I am glad she was so brave! WTG Haley. That is a big deal and no fun. I am surprised they let her be in pain for that long though. When Mike had an appendicitis they got him on morphine ASAP and life was much nicer for the most part.

What that gym teacher did is unexcusable and what the regular teacher did is just plain stupid. I would be enormously angry as well.

On the school, how is your relationship with the principal? How about the superintendents office. Making the school "pay" really only affects the other students at school and the tax payers who put money in. You want those 2 teachers really to be held responsible. Likely they won't be able to be financially responsible but I would report them right up the ladder, likely to the superintendent. A complaint does NOT look good and likely will go at least in the gym teachers record. That was NOT appropriate.

I am really not sure how else to make those teachers responsible for this, but money taken from the school for Haley's medical expenses if it comes straight from the school will likely come out of programs for the kids. Being a former PTA treasurer and in on the whole budget from the school because that came up often, I know there is little to no wiggle room in school budgets. As a teacher I know that I only even have a very limited budget with which to order paper and laminate my materials. Our little school would be very hard pressed to pay that and it would likely come out of kid programs, books, etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 10:03am

Thanks Paula. She's doing really well right now. They only told her to take Tylenol but if it doesn't help I'm to call. I'm a little frustrated by that but we didn't get out of there til 11:30 at night and I was so tired and stressed, I couldn't argue about it. I won't hesitate to demand something though if necessary. No way will I let her suffer.

Yep, its her dominant arm. Going to make things really difficult for awhile. I have no idea how she is going to manage at school yet. She normally rides the bus but I'm thinking maybe it would be best to make arrangements to drive her to school for awhile. I don't know how she will handle her backpack and everything on the bus with only her left arm to use. Will figure it all out I guess.

Oh yes... the school is going to get it but good. I am fuming over this. I am happy to say though that Haley received a package in the mail from the special ed class. They all made her get well cards yesterday. That was so nice and made her smile. I wish certain other people in the school cared that much!

That is a good idea about keeping a letter for ER situations. I will be doing that. I have AS cards but they are more geared toward emotional outbursts rather than explaining her disorder and how to approach her. Good idea, thanks!




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 10:13am

Thanks rbear. I did think about that... money taken from the school only really hurting the kids. That is a good point. Thank you. I do plan on lodging complaints against these teachers. I'm on good terms with the principal. He's a nice guy. And I have dealt with the superintendent in the past as well. He is also very approachable and nice. I had to go to him to get help with Haley's situation in third grade. It wasn't until he stepped in that I made any progress at all. I will but writing/calling both of them I think. I'm glad I can't do anything til Tuesday. Gives me a chance to cool off and clear my head. I have bad habit of going in with guns blazing. Doesn't solve anything when I do that. Just makes me look like an idiot really.

I will definitely work on keeping a letter on hand in case of emergency. That really is a great idea.

Thanks again!




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 2:41pm

Holy Cow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 11:29pm

First of all...HUGS TO HALEY!!! That had to hurt like the dickens(to put it in kid-friendly terms)! Wow, that must have been some fall to break her arm at the elbow like that! Ouch! I can't even imagine how my ds would react to a situation like that. So far we have been lucky to not have had any trips to the ER for broken bones or stitches. KNOCK ON WOOD!! As for the school, I would have just told the over zealous homework teacher to get a grip and I would get a hold of her when I really cared enough about her homework to think about it. As for the gym teacher, well, in your situation, I can see where I would have been mad too. BUT...being someone on the outside, there is one thing I thought about that may explain why he did what he did even though it may not make sense to a child or parent. When I used to coach sports, the first thing out of the program directors mouth was "if a child gets hurt, DON'T MOVE THEM! Let their parent come onto the field and attend to them!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 11-11-2007 - 7:09am

Thanks Lainie. *hugs*

Jen, thank you for your insight. I have been trying to clear my head and see all sides of what happened. That does make sense but like you said, he could have offered her some comfort or compassion instead of just standing there like an idiot. I know that moving an injured child can be a very bad thing so I would understand that reaction but then again, I think that needs to be a judgement call. In Haley's case... with her anxiety... I think moving her would have been the best thing to do.

Right now I'm angry with the nurse for not having a clue how serious this potentially was. I know they can't tend to injuries like that of course but the way she talked to me on the phone it was like it was not serious at all and when I asked if I needed to come get her she said, "Well you know your child better than anyone so maybe you can tell if she is making more out of it than it really is." Or something to that effect. When I got there, it took all of a half second to see her face and see she was in pure agony. Then I looked at the elbow and without even needing to compare it to the other one, I could see there was something wrong... even if I didn't know just how bad it was. It was clearly swollen in a very specific spot. Just bugs me that she couldn't see that.

At this point, I'm calm and rational enough to not just go in with my mouth running wild. I'm going to send a calm email to the principal about how disappointed I am with these people and why. If this is how they are supposed to respond to this type of situation, then they need to revise this plan because it doesn't work. From where Haley and I stand, they dropped the ball.

I will give kudos to the special ed class and to her mainstream teacher though. The special ed class all made her get well cards which was really sweet. Then her mainstream class teacher called yesterday to see if Haley was doing ok. The office told her that she had to have surgery on the elbow. But then the conversation turned back to homework again. She said to do what we can and not worry about it but honestly... I care more about my child's comfort than a homework paper. I'm tempted to just do it all myself and say she told me what to write. *insert rolling eyes here* I know that isn't the best thing to do though. LOL




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Sun, 11-11-2007 - 9:51pm

Jill-


I know I'm chiming in really late here, but just wanted you to know that I'm really sorry you guys are going through this.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 6:41am

Thanks Amy. She's doing very well and is in great spirits. I'm so proud of her. She's getting sick of me telling her that though. LOL!!

The gym teacher isn't going to be doing quite so well. I sent out a letter to the principal and the superintendent in regards to his complete lack of action or compassion. I was stern but not unfair or attacking in any way. I did insist that Haley be kept out of his class from now on because I don't trust any further than I can throw him. I also stated that he owes Haley and me a very sincere apology. I want this guy to know how wrong he was. While I understand that teachers have to be careful in how they handle an injured child, I honestly think that he thought she was faking it or just making too much of it. I have never seen a broken bone before (except a hairline fracture). I have no medical training. When I looked at her elbow, there was no question that something was seriously wrong. So there is no excuse for them not to see it.

I asked Haley again about what happened after she fell. I have bugged her about this to make sure I'm getting an accurate story. Her perception of things can be a little off sometimes. But she continues to give me the same exact story so I believe her 100%. And she said that this teacher really doesn't pay much attention to her at all on a normal day. I have wondered if he just doesn't know how to handle a child with AS. I'm grasping at straws on that one but I do wonder about it. But if I find out that is why he didn't try to console her while she was on the floor... because he didn't know how to deal with her... that is going to be the final straw.

And that is the biggest thing that sets me off... the fact that he could say two words to her. If he has so much as asked if she needed help or something... ANYTHING! I wouldn't be anywhere near as angry as I am right now. He may not have touched her or tried to move her for fear of being sued but there is also such a thing as neglect and in my mind, he's walking that line. If he makes an effort to redeem himself to both Haley and me, I willbe satisfied with that. If I don't like the response I get from my emails, we're going to have a problem. As I told them in the emails... the special ed class made her get well cards. Her classroom teacher called over the weekend. The office staff sounded remorseful when I called. But the one person who was there when it happened... the gym teacher... hasn't uttered a single syllable to either of us. Makes me angry.

I know I'm getting really hot under the collar and I'm sorry if I'm spouting off. This school has been a problem for a long time and this is the end of the line. I won't tolerate anything more from them.




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 2:41pm
Awww... poor Haley, I hope she gets better quick!

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