Ignored by Other Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Ignored by Other Kids
2
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:35am

Hi,
I'm a lurker who's only posted on here a few times. I have a five year old dd, who has been very emotional lately. Her Dad took her to the park last night and she approached two little girls and tried to talk to them. They completely ignored her, and she became very upset, sobbing that they wouldn't play with her.

I'm having the same problem when I take my youger dd to gym class. The five year old has to wait with some other kids during the class. I've observed the same thing where the other three kids are playing together. DD tries to join in or say something to them, and they completely ignore her. Last week dd claimed that one of the girls kicked her "for no reason". I'm not sure if that really happended or not. My guess is that dd is talking about Underdog (her current obsession)and the kids just have no idea what she is talking about.

I don't know what to say to dd. I'm dreading class today because last week she was curled up in the corner, after she said the girl kicked her. Should I switch class to a time when she can stay home with dh? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:45pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 2:40pm

First of all, hugs to you hon! I myself also have a five year old. I have frequently observed other kids ignoring my ds and felt awful for him. I have also observed ADULTS overlooking him in activities. I myself, feel the urge to do something about it right when I see it. One thing I have done is go over to where the kids are and try to help them initiate contact with ds by saying something like "hey guys, can dakota play too? He seems to really like what you are doing right now!". Most of the time, they end up bringing him into the fold and all is well. My ds tends to be a bit overbearing sometimes as he doesn't have a lot of spacial awareness. This seems to be something that NT kids find startling and they are unsure how to deal with it. So a lot of times they just go on about their business and when I intervene, it tells them what exactly is going on and that it is ok to play with ds. You can try this and see if maybe it helps a bit with the situation. Maybe it will only take one or two tries and then the NT kids will get to know your dd and that she is a sweet little girl that they can befriend and play with. If for some reason things don't go the way you would like, you can consider maybe bringing something for her to do during class(crayons and coloring book, puzzles, etc) or if you want, you can look into changing the class time so she can spend time with dh at home.

HTH, Jen