I'm going crazy help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
I'm going crazy help
4
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 8:52am

I'm sorry I thought I would come here to give you tips on how I've dealt with stuff but as this being my second post I feel like I'm just another whiner.Please help me before I lose my sanity as I mentioned in my intro post Nick was dx with aspergers/ADHD about two wks ago although he's had a lot of interventions that aspergers children get he was just dx (uggh!).

Lets start with x husband he's not really receptive that ANYTHING is wrong with his child and considers Nick to be "slow and shy to warm up" yes! He actually said that about Nick just tells me he doesn't know a thing about his own son but who would getting only 72 hrs every other wkend.(UGGGGGGH) there lies the problem the ex will not extend one bit of help with Nick and vaguely acts like he's interested in his treatment.When I send him for the wkend he will not give him his RX and so then Nick has been without it for two days.I don't have the money to keep taking him back to court but he will never get custody b/c of DV issue's and he was removed from the home.I thought about mediation but then he probably wouldn't show up.What I want is for him either to be actively involved in Nick's treatment and to help me out on it (minus us getting back together b/c that just won't happen) or to have him step completely out of the picture.Its frustrating to send Nick over every other wkend and he gives him no medication and does no interventions and lets him run wild.

The school ? In complete and utter disgust there when I try and pass along on some ideas only they look at me like I'm some foriegn object.I am beginning to think an inclusion class would be best for Nick since mainstream is NOT working.It just breaks my heart that they won't even TRY to help on somethings.The teacher said she has a masters in special education but yet knows squat about aspergers or interventions.We have a IEP meeting on Wens to try and help each other get some ideas about what to do.They called me the other day to say that Nick was misbehaving so bad.Well if he was misbehaving that bad why didn't you take him out of that enviroment?

My job yes I still have one and my bosses try to understand but ladies (men too). I work for so much less than I could actually make if I didn't have all this stress and doctors appts and so forth.I'm dismayed actually I could make about $20,000 more if I had a child that could function and I'm sorry and feel ashamed of myself for even saying that.I love Nick honestly I do but sometimes I just sit and cry at how much I'm missing out on where jobs are concerned I've taken a less paying job so I can have more flexible time.

My other children well essentially I feel as though I'm letting them down b/c I focus so much of my time on Nick.What can I do? I can't get that time back but then I can't not watch Nick or attend to his needs.So I feel like I'm a big fat failure where they are concerned.

As for me I'm not doing so great I still muster up a smile when its needed but feel like crying and yes I probably need some sort of medication but then I'd feel like more of a failure.Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 9:43am

(((Hugs)))

As far as husbands go I thinks it really common for them to not be involved in the autism stuff wether they live in the home or are X's. My dh & I have a great relationship and he's a great dad but when it comes to therapies & doctor's visits its really all on me. He doesn't read about AS and hasn't a clue about biomedical treatments we do with our kids. I don't know what to tell you about the medication issue. That would make me insane.

For the school stuff the best thing you can do is learn all you can about your son's rights. A good place to start is over at the IEP board here on ivillage. Also check out the IDEA 2004 parents guide http://www.ncld.org/content/view/900/456084/

And don't feel bad about whining. That's what we are here for. Come and vent when ever you need to.
Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 12:25pm

oh, honey, ((((HUGS)))))!


You sound like me the last few days.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 7:44pm

thank you for responding (both of you who responded) and your right it is very overwhelming to me sometimes.Nick has an MRI on Friday that they just told me about today to see if there is anything to the constant headaches he's been getting.My mom is going with me b/c I am not sure that X would show up at it is.Work is so very important to him (rolling eyes) so being that he doesn't want to give me his cell number and I cannot call over to his mother house b/c the woman hates me and never answers the phone he actually probably won't have a chance to know.Tommorrow we review Nick's IEP but X knows about that and I said to myself that if he shows up for that (doubtful) that I would tell him about the MRI then.

Actually here in our state you have to go through Mediation before it can be brought before a judge b/c we're not going through a D.Its already been finalized and I have sole custody given back before the D was even done.So we're stuck at a mediator.

I am in fact going to a Dr. appt in the morning a therapist actually b/c Nicks doctors couldn't believe that I never see anyone (I guess they wonder how I'm keeping it together) I think that was her words LOL so I'm going to asked to be put back on Lexapro that was the only thing that used to help me.I call it my wonder drug sometimes LOL .

Hey my name is Debbie too

Deb and the boys

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 11:01pm

Deb, my therapist appointment went very well today.

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