Impatience: AS or ADHD

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Impatience: AS or ADHD
5
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 2:46am

David was telling me today that he's really frustrated at the fact that he doesn't have the patience to do anything he wants to do.

That was pretty insightful of him, and his comment made me think a lot. As a lot of you may know, we took him out of school and are now "homeschooling" him. I put that in quotes because I have no clue what I'm doing! School was so stressful for him, because even though he's very intelligent, he couldn't do the work.

He had an idea for a creative project today (some kind of animated drawing project), but he barely got started on it before he went into a meltdown because he doesn't have the patience to actually do the work. Between sobs and and throwing stuff around the room, he managed to say that whether it's at school or at home, he feels like he can't do anything, because he wants to see results NOW.

His official dx has always been Asperger's, but recently the doctor told us she thinks he also has ADHD. Last year she prescribed Focalin, but we never tried it on him because his school anxiety was so high, and the package said not to give it to kids who are experiencing anxiety. Now that school isn't an issue, and we are free to go at his own pace for a while, I think we might give it a try. I'm loathe to give more meds, because he's already on Abilify and Trileptal.

Does anyone here have a kid like this, who suffers because of not having the patience to do what s/he wants? I'm wondering if that's more of an AS thing or an ADHD thing. And would Focalin help?

Homeschooling isn't going to amount to much of anything if he can't even do activities that he picks out. I notice he's even stopped reading in the past few years. Well, he reads all the time, but it's only comics or books with lots of pictures. He's 12, and reads well above grade level, so I think again it has to do with patience. Actually, he said it's hard for him to visualize what the author is saying without pictures, but I'm not convinced that's the full problem. He used to read chapter books with no problem, but seems to have regressed.

(Oh dear, it's almost midnight. I need to stop staying up too late!)

Evelyn

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 09-09-2010 - 4:27pm

Hi Evelyn,



My oldest is ADHD, more on the inattentive side, and is currently on Focalin.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 9:43pm

I was the same way about outlines. Always wrote them from the actual paper.

Have you thought about trying mind maps instead? It's a more organic form of outline. My DH uses them all the time.

Just google it and see what you think.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 4:08pm

Well, making outlines is ordinarily a great idea. Unfortunately, making outlines and planning is probably the one thing that causes David more stress and anguish than just about anything else in the world. As soon as it looks like he's going to have to plan something (either as part of a school assignment or anywhere else), he just shuts down completely.

He says it's difficult because that would require him to know what he's going to do in later steps, before he's gotten through the earlier steps. It's difficult for him to think like that.

I must admit, I'm the same way, so I understand where he's coming from. In school and college, I used to write all my papers without an outline. If we had to turn in an outline for a grade, I'd basically have to write the paper first, and then derive my outline from that. I couldn't write an outline first, because I didn't know how my paper would unfold as I wrote it. I always managed to get A's in the writing, and so did David. I guess our brains are just weird that way. Ha ha!

Evelyn

Avatar for sselwa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 8:00am
Not sure if I'll help but I think the benefit to homeschooling is he can learn the patience to try to do something.
Susan, mom to Sam 11 and Connor 9