Interesting memoir of mom w/ AS kid
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Interesting memoir of mom w/ AS kid
| Mon, 03-13-2006 - 11:55pm |
I just found this. It's very short, so you can read it in a few minutes. It's a morning in the life of a mom and her 7-year-old son, who, at that point, had not yet been diagnosed with Asperger's. This story is the closest thing I've ever come across to what we used to go through on a daily basis when our son was about five. I'd be interested to hear if other people think this sounds familiar.
http://www.literarymama.com/creativenonfiction/memoir/archives/000214.html
Evelyn

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OHhhhhhhh Yeah.
Heck, maybe not quite like that because we have more tools now to use, but there are still a fair number of mornings where a whole lot of that sounded familiar. Fortunately with understanding AS and such there are very few of me melting down or hating them like that mom said but only because we know and have some supports. But it is a daily struggle.
The sweater thing was SOOOOO true. I don't know how many times in a day I have to remind them to do something that is RIGHT there and they continuously forget. There have been mornings where we get into the car, I am driving down the street only to realize that someone has no shoes on or jacket. A few weeks ago we were late and so Dave went into the therapists office with no shoes and he hates socks so his feet were stinky. Heck yesterday we got TO school when I realized Mike didn't have his glasses on AGAIN. I must have reminded him 5 times in the morning making sure I got his attention.
The other thing is the screaming in the morning. Since we started driving Cait to school in the morning (remember this was an issue with the bus at the beginning of the school yeat) Mike probably wakes up angry and yelling 3 out of 5 days a week. Driving her in the morning is too many transitions for him. However, prior to my driving her she was waking up screaming 3 or 4 days a week because it was too much stress to get on the bus.
I will have to write up my typical morning sometime. Since we understand AS now, more than a sad situation like this memoire it is the stuff Sitcoms are made of. But with 4 kids, 3 with issues, it can be a 3 ring circus in the AM trying to get everyone ready and I do 3 drop off trips in the morning.
Renee
Hi Evelyn,
Thank you for sharing and I can unfortunately relate to the writer mom's experience. My son is only 4, but we have had periods like this. About a year ago, we went through a phase where Eric would wake up every morning at 6 a.m. I would hear him rustling around, come in hoping for a "good morning, momma" or anything positive and was instead greeted every day with the door slammed in my face and "momma go away."
Refusing to at least help me get him dressed (even at 3 he didn't have the fine motor skills to do it himself), he would go limp or start kicking and fighting. I couldn't get him to sit still to eat, so I was lucky if I could get a yogurt smoothie in a sippy cup to throw with him in the car on the way to therapy.
We've made it through that phase now and things are better, but during that time, I had many of the feelings that mother did. I even asked my doctors' for anti-depressants but was told I "wasn't depressed enough" which is funny to me know that the neurologist is so quick to suggest them for Eric!
But like Renee said, we have more parenting skills now, I have a better understanding of ASD, but it still hurts sometimes. Plus, the more I think I know, the more new things about ASD pop up w/DS that I realize I still have a lot to learn. It can be so defeating at times.
Katherine
Evelyn,
We have those moments throughout the day. Depending on Nathan's mood and stress level of course!! Someday are ok. Lately, we have been experiencing this ALOT. Everytime I turn around, he's upset about something.....or has spaced off and needs redirecting and reminding. I don't scream really. My mom screamed constantly when I was little.....and I don't really care for it myself.
Nathan will get upset over the littliest of things...which is typical for our kids! If he pushes the wrong button on the tv remote, spills food or juice, broke something, can't find something, and he even gets mad if he DOESN'T want to talk (and I'm talking to him). Lately, he's been wanting to "do it over". Like if someone helps him do something...he gets mad because he wanted to do!!! Lastnight, dh came home from work, and I told him that Nathan was having a hard day (like he has been for a VERY long time now). So, dh forgets!! Goes to Nathan's room and gets his bed ready for bedtime (pulls blankets down, places his animals, etc.) Nathan goes into his room and ......!!!!!!! He starts tantruming and screaming, "I WANTED TO DO IT, I WANTED TO DO IT!!" He then says he has to do it over, and proceeds to "make" the bed back up.....so that he can "redo it"!!! The whole time he was mad at daddy and reprimanding him that he should not have done that!!! I.....could not stop laughing. Dh knew!!! But forgot. HOW DO YOU FORGET????
Anyway, I related to that article. So true.
michelle
That is so incredibly accurate to what it's like and what we often feel here at our house. That's usually afterschool behavior here. Before school isn't as bad, but there are times.
Thanks for posting this. I may email a link to some friend/family.
Chrystee
Thank you for posting this Evelyn. I can relate. I remember those mornings (before diagnosis....before I even heard the word Aspergers).....I'd wake up a little before my alarm and I would hold my breath and hope that today was a good day.....if it wasn't.....I knew I'd be doing battle just to get my son out of bed, dressed, fed and out the door....I would flinch at every phone call I got at work.....just waiting for son's school or after-school program to be calling me to pick son up that he was being disruptive and disrespectful.....I'd hear him crying and screaming in the background during those calls.....it broke my heart to hear him sound like that......
Christie
Evelyn, The article was VERY painful and true. But I wanted to thank you, too, for posting the link because that lit mag looks GREAT!!! Where did you find out about it? I've already read several of the other articles/stories, and I'm thinking of submitting some of my own work.
Thanks!
Jennifer
I....feel...her...pain.... LOL
That sounds like our typical day with two of our sons.
Jennifer,
I was just doing a google search for some AS stuff, and I found a link to that site. The article called "Morphine and Mother's Milk" (or something like that) is a *real* tear-jerker. Definitely have a box of kleenex handy if you read that one.
Evelyn
Our mornings are usually rough too. Maybe not quite that bad but I will tell my son to get dressed for school, then get myself and the baby ready and he's still sitting there on his floor with all the shirts pulled out of his drawer saying "I can't find a shirt that I like." Usually when I tell him it's time to get dressed, unless it's to do something he wants to do, I am met with the noise that he makes, the horrible noise that grates on my nerves. He loves to eat so I threaten that there wont be time for breakfast if he doesn't hurry. Now my new threat, or rule, is that if he gives me trouble in the morning, then he can't play XBox at night. He's usually pretty good if he knows the consequence. I don't know if that is common with Asperger's children (as I've said before, I don't know if my child has Aspergers) but it does work for him much of the time.
Shelly
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