Is it normal for an 8 year old to think and talk about girls romantically

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Is it normal for an 8 year old to think and talk about girls romantically
3
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 10:20pm

In many ways it has been a productive year, but also the most difficult.  Ds speech has improved, but he takes everything he hears to school including the good and bad.  Now he has fallen in love with one of the girls in his class.  He wants to marry her, kiss her, etc.  the girl's parents have called the school to complain and the mother frowns when she sees me.  Off course in her mind I'm a bad parent.  I have talked to ds, threaten to punish him if he doesn't leave her alone, but nothing works.  Today he and another kid got in trouble for talking about kidnaping the girl and cutting up another kid.  He said he didn't start it, but because he can't express himself well, he get blamed for It.  I'm so scared and feel completely helpless.  The school agree that they were joking and have no intention nor the ability to do anything to anyone, I live in CT - After Sandy Hook there is not a lot of room for jokes.  I'm living my dream and nightmare right now.  I have been crying since I picked him up.  Is this normal?  What should I do?

Avatar for ubergeek
Community Leader
Registered: 09-23-2010

First of all {{{hugs}}}. I know exactly what you're feeling. We've been in similar boats and gosh, the feeling is just crummy. 

For us, my son doesn't understand appropriate social behavior. So, he doesn't get that he shouldn't say certain things. (He, too, repeats things from home at school and other places.)

Is it possible that he saw a boy kissing a girl and is just saying things and not really grasping what he is saying? Or that it's not appropriate? We can tell our son until we're blue in the face not to say something, but he doesn't understand WHY and that's the problem.

He may be just role playing, copying what he saw.

I do think 8 is young, but like I said, he could be copying something he saw, which wouldn't mean he actually likes them romantically, more that he saw something, thought it was nice/sweet/funny, and is now acting it out?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Thanks for your response Erin. You are definitely right, we are black and blue screaming and explaining why things are inappropriate and nothing sinks in. He says that all the kids on Disney either have girl/boy friends or are trying to get one. I told him that they are much older and it is not real life. I really hope that this is the end of this, we have so much to deal with. Thank again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2003
I know Brooke's "boyfriend" was 4 when he told his mom he was going to marry her & buy her a pink house & a pink car, this went on until 3 or 4th grade, now they hate each other. Some people think about things at an early age. Because he is on the spectrum he doesn't fully understand the "right" and "wrong" of it. I would see if you can get a social skills book on relationships and go over that with him. You can also write a social story about the appropriate way to talk about / relate to a girl. Let us know how it goes