Just want to cry..wait I am....
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| Wed, 10-10-2007 - 4:22pm |
The drama continues in our household. We were once again called back to the school and once AGAIN he is suspended but only for the rest of this day. Apparently a girl was looking at him & he didn't like her expression. He said something about don't look at him or something. She said what. So then threatened at that time that he was going to punch her. The teacher had intervened at that point however soon after this moment she was pulled away due another behavioral issue over another child so Dakota was left alone. Don't know if the girl looked at him again or not but he ended up punching her.
So he ended up going to the principals office. When he found he was going home, he threw his food tray. Food all over the floor. He was very upset about going home.
They informed me that if he keeps this up and ends up with 10 suspensions that he would be or may be placed into another school geared for kids with behavior issues, which is in a town about 45 minutes away!!!! Personally I believe that would be the worst place for him.
Called his physician and his Seroquel has been increased to 50mg at night and changed his Focalin to Concerta. Changed the stimulant since Dakota's been complaining of stomach aches. He starts counseling tomorrow at the local university. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm loosing him.
So now he is grounded off all computer games, internet, etc for at least 2 weeks. Made him write an apology letter to the little girl. I don't know what to do.
Shell




Hey Shell,
You poor thing; what a crappy day. I would like to make one suggestion, that you can of course toss in the trash if you so wish. I am wondering though if punishing Dakota (ie: losing screen privilages at home) is a positive reaction after him already being punished by the school. I find Liam needs a soft place to fall after a horrible day at school like that; he's often so stressed he needs to release of tv etc.
Now as for the school; Dakota is not a behavior issue, he has a disability. I there any program they have fo auties/aspies in the system (I'm assuming not though). PLease make sure the district doesn't bully him and you into an EBD setting; from experience, it's the worst set up for our kids. ((((HUGS)))
Dee
No services in our area for kids with autism. Very sad. Oh, he still has the tv to unwind on. I know not to take everything away because I know he needs something to unwind but his love is the computer so taking that away does make a difference sometimes.
My son and I worked out a system together to help improve his behavior. We call the Sticker system. Every day he has a good day with little problems, he will earn a sticker for the day. After earning so many stickers, I will give him a dollar. So he can save his money for things he wants. Should he misbehave in school, he does not earn a sticker. Should his punishment at school is severe like suspension, he will loose stickers as well have to pay me back a dollar or two, which he would not like to do. Also, suspension also means loss of computer time at home, too.
I will fight them if they try to place him in that behavior school. But hopefully it will never come to that.
Thats for your response, Shell
My Son
My Daughter
Just wanna send you {{{Hugs}}} Shell.
(((SHELL))) you poor thing! Sending you lots of positive thoughts!
I hope you can get some help from the local university!
I think if things are this difficult he needs an emergency IEP meeting. Does he have a Behavior Intervention Plan? We have a fairly generic one for Weston even though he's never been aggressive, because it saves him from getting to that very bad place where a suspension might be necessary. Ours just says he'll have a safe place to go when he's feeling overwhelmed, he can get out of any class w/ just a wave of his green (get out of class free) card and go to take 10 (or more if necessary). He has a bean bag chair and can ask for a blanket even, and other sensory items to help him calm down. He knows when he's so upset he can't even talk to say 'guidance' and he can get out. All of the teachers had to sign a paper saying they had received his BIP and had read it. They all know that if ever he's losing control they must call Ms. R, or Ms. W or Mr. S. That's all it takes. Getting him out of the situation is what has to happen. It's for his safety, their liability and other students' safety. AND my son has never even threatened anyone. After he's out of the situation Ms. R or Ms. W. will sometimes talk him through what happened or they might have him draw what was upsetting him. We're working on getting him to take responsibility for his actions and think through situations when he loses control. He's never acted out at someone else though so I don't know if this type of intervention would work for your son.
Renee had talked about using this book "Incredible 5-Point Scale ¿ Assisting Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders in Understanding Social Interactions and Controlling Their Emotional Responses" I took a look at it and thought it had a lot of good ideas and was a good program. it might be worth a look for your son.
(((HUGS))) I hope you find a better situation than an EBD school for your son!
Betsy
OK, I mostly lurk here (DD, almost 2, has autism), but I used to be a teacher, and the 10 suspension speech they are giving you is what they say when they've pretty much decided that a kid "needs" to be out of the school. My principle used to use that warning with the "worst of the worst" kids that were really hard to deal with. Basically, they are talking about an expulsion from the school he is in, and an alternative placement.
I'm assuming your son has an IEP. Legally, they can't expell
I agree, you need to be a bit of a mama bear here. The problems seem clearly related to his diagnosed disability, and as such there needs to be the proper support available. If the school haven't provided that support (and the pp had some good ideas about 'time out' space and 'get out' cards which we use very successfully as well) then they have absolutely no right to start the '10 suspensions' nonsense they are feeding you.
It's tough, but you need to fight them!
Kirsty
Shell,