Just when I think we are doing okay..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Just when I think we are doing okay..
5
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 5:46pm

Joshua reminds us that sometimes we are just beating our heads against the wall. So far things had been going all right. Psychologist communicated with us. Tell us things were goimng well. They seemed to get an Aspie kid.


7th grade.. So far so good. Then one shoe drops. Josh had not handed in his Health homework 3x's got a letter for that. When questioned on that turns out the assignments were on his desk at home. Good place for them. Next all week he seemed to be turning in homework. I check his agenda book. Science project due. But not sure when. What does he have to do. As soon as I confront Josh he sudenly knows when it is due... Tomorrow! and where the paper outlining what he needs to do in his binder. I just called and left a message with e Science teacher to get the true poop on the Scince project. Meanwhile i am so close to being ready for Scial services to just take my kid away because he just frustrates me so much. Taking away everything under the sun doesn't phase him. he has lost the computer and his Nitendo, plus any other stuff that requires a screen.


But I don't want to take away the stuff vital to him in Life skills, social needs etc. Example.. Scouts, Bowling, clubs etc. So what do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 09-25-2007 - 11:40pm

Rina,


It sounds like Josh has crappy organizational skills and he gets behind and then overwhelmed (I have gruesome organizational skills so I relate very strongly). I think he needs help, not punishment (which could compound the issue). I am sure there are tricks and supports that can be put in place to help him, but I am not sure what they are. The school psychologist may have some good ideas.


I know it is hard not to get frustrated with a kid who just can't seem to get something which seems so obvious to us. Unfortunately, he probably genuinely can't do it. You have to try and swallow your frustration and talk with him. He may have some ideas on what might help him to get more organized.


(((((hugs))))))


Hang in there. This is a stressful time for everyone.


-Paula


-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 4:27am
My son's orginizational skills are horrible too. I've got both his teacher and the special -ed resource lady checking over his backpack with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:14am

Hi Rina,

I wanted to say that this is an area when Joshua is going to need actually teaching and supports, taking away things won't help him do what his disability is causing to be a problem. And the lying, while upsetting, is a knee-jerk reaction to "being in trouble", and of course it is not very accomplished lying. But the lies are coming from stress.

Do I remember that you might have him without a strong educational team as regards his dx, ie. in school without IEP etc.? He may need a specialist trained in his disability to help at school and for him to learn how to stay on top of organizing his responsibilities. But just as you can't teach a crippled child to walk by taking away the wheelchair, nor can you teach an ASD child with poor organizing skills to think ahead and plan without a step-by-step teaching plan.

There's where so many of our kids get in trouble, when people make the mistake of thinking of them as just like other kids. That does NOT mean they should have no responsilities, but rather that the steps of "how-to" have to be broken down into MUCH smaller units.

HTH and (((((hugs))))) to you both,

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 5:20pm

Josh has always had the supports in place. But these past couple of years have been the 1st time out since we changed him over to Autism. So I know we kind of have a learning curve here. Each year we are learning something new in how to help Josh.


Tomorrow night we have Meet the Teachers at Josh's school. I wanted to give the teachers time to get to know Josh before I really started to "butt" in more. I know he is not organized well. I know his teachers do try. I also know this was something Josh probably did not want to do. Which is what frustrates me because when challenged he can suddenly remember everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:40pm

Good news .. Josh's science teacher called me. She told me how to check on line to make sure about homework assignemnts plus to keep up to date with Notes and stuff the kids are covering in class. So I can check regularly on what Josh is doing. She reassured me Josh is doing okay and she just loves him. She told me he is inquizative and very much a hands on type of kid. I had told her Josh seems to knwo his stuff but doesn't do well on tests.


She told me how he is supposed to be organized and how they are to keep track of their packets. I plan to look it over tomorrow. So things are looking up. Maybe this will be Josh's year.


One can only hope.


Rina