In-laws (vent)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In-laws (vent)
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 12:20am
Today was our youngest birthday so we had a small 5th birthday party for him a group of his friends (a few happen to be the younger sibs of our oldest's friends) at the local gymnastics center. Will wouldn't you know it the 9 year with AS had his usual social situation meltdown, even though he had his friends with him and all seemed to be going okay for a short while.

To make matters worse when he started acting up (overstimulation masked by whining about heat, stomach ache, head ache, etc.)my in-laws told him he wasn't setting a good example for his younger brother and that a 9 year shouldn't act like such a baby. I stepped in (because DH their son and giver of the AS gene, ignores whatever they say and tells me to do the same)to "save" my ds. My FIL tells me that he would be fine, if I stopped treating him like a baby. My MIL told me that parents today do not know how to dicipline and that he was acting that way because he was jealous of all the attention that his brother was getting. Then my SIL and her aunt tried to get him to stop acting out, but ds kept escalating. The more all of them tried, the worse it got. In other words, my dh's whole family thinks he's just spoiled, jealous and undiciplined. They so don't get how AS works.

When we got back from the party, I had to go over to my parent's house to calm down (they won't speak to the in-laws or be in the same room that they are in because of the way the in-laws treat ds and his AS) because they are away on vacation and I wanted to be alone. It took 4 hours to get to slightly angry and not want to kill DH for not standing up to his parents for the sake of his child.

To make matters worse, we have to spend a week in June on a cruise with them for their 50th anniversary. My dh tells me to stop referring to it as "the voyage of the damned" but one week with a group of people (in-laws) who don't understand AS no matter how much we've given them to read, who I don't ever really want to be around anyway, and a ds who hates any new experience is going to be one of the roughest and longest week of my life.

The people who argue that your child does not and could not have AS gets me very angry. Do people think you could possibly make this up or want to live like this in this constant state of turmoil?

A very grumpy,


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
In reply to: leenie29
Sun, 08-24-2003 - 5:04am
*twitch, shudder, shudder, twitch*........Girlfriend, I think you just earned the $65 box of See's Chocolates. You get the $110 one for even considering the going on that cruise.

I have a few relatives like that myself. makes me want to SCREEAAAAM!!!