Learning to tie shoe laces

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Learning to tie shoe laces
15
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 2:20pm

Well, we're trying this AGAIN!!! Didn't go so well yesterday, but we're going to "practice" again today. I was wondering though....when did all of your kids learn this task? Or are any of you still working on it?? We tried learning this in kindy....got the first part down. But then he had that bad accident with his hand and the treadmill. So, we had to stop. Then we put our house up for sale, the move, school starting....and now, I think it's time to start again.

Nathan hates to learn new things. He's always tired. Avoids anything that might take up too much energy. Tyler is going to "laser tag" with his cousin this afternoon, so I'm hoping that things might go better if it's just the two of us.

Michelle

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 3:28pm

Well......ummmm.....Jake only wears shoes that slip on or have velcro...and he is 12. He did learn to tie his shoes around the age of 4-5 but NEVER could keep them tied and once untied he didn't want to exert himself by re-tying them. Or else he just didn't get that he had to do it again if they came undone..so towards the end of 2nd grade we started buying inly slip ons or velcro shoes-a task that is seemly harder the bigger his foot gets!

Liza

Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 6:48pm

Weston (9) is still working on this skill. I think the OT has decided it's not worth the frustration-- I think I've come to that conclusion as well. So far I've been able to find him shoes w/ zippers or velcro and we've tied his soccer cleats or other shoes for him (my 6 yr old sometimes ties his shoes as well) My oldest who also has difficulties w/ small motor, finally got it down in 2nd grade at age 8.

good luck and let me know if you have any tricks.

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 7:30pm

Well, Mike still wears velcro. He did learn to tie at the end of 2nd grade, beginning of 3rd, but he doesn't have the fine motor dexterity to get them good enough that they stay tied. He occasionally will wear work boots with ties, but often ends up walking around all day with them untied. So for the most part it is still velcro.

Cait insists on having her shoes tight. Velcro doesn't work for her so she had to learn. She finally did mid way through 3rd grade. It took a long time though. Now she does it well but it takes her a while and she has to get them perfect. she has a little routine she does.

Emily learned at the beginning of 1st and got good about mid way through 1st.

Dave, I am not even trying. I tried with all the others in K and it was a wash. He has zip shoes and when he has an interest I will show him.

Renee

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 8:28pm

Thanks everyone! I'm starting to wonder how long it will take for him to learn! We tried again today, and had the same results. I thought it might work better since it was just the 2 of us today. He still whined, thru a fit, laying flat on the floor refusing to do it!! So we only gave it about 4 tries. I have a fear though, that when or if he does learn.....he might obsess on them being perfect, and then it would take him forever to get his shoes on(he's such a perfectionist!) Velcro or zippers might be the route we take! But I'm going to stick with it for awhile. I got him to brush his teeth, get dressed, potty trained, eating with silverware (yes, that was a problem when he was younger!), got him talking, and even got him writing too. I guess I'm a bit stubborn, I have to try. Wish me luck!!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 9:03pm

Is it a motivation thing or a fine motor thing?

If it's fine motor, OT & patience are the best remedies.

With Peter, it was a motivation thing. He couldn't be *bothered* trying to learn. There was always somebody around that he could sucker into doing it. He knew he just had to wait until we were late for school, and a frustrated parent would just *tie* them already!

Peer pressure worked in the end. I sent him to a regular ed after school program. The kids there teased him and wouldn't believe that he was 6yo because he couldn't tie his laces. It took him less than two weeks to learn. I know that sounds harsh, but that is the real world. (Had it been a fine motor issue, I would have intervened, BTW)

He still doesn't do a great job. They open a lot. I bought those special laces which are supposed to *stay* tied, and they help a bit. I am not ready to go to velcro yet, because I know he *can* do it, he just needs to care enough. Also, he only likes to wear Converse Hi tops, and there isn't a velcro version...

Siobhan, the Queen of Fine Motor; tied her laces before her 4th birthday. I used to have to stop her from tying Peter's laces for him. (the little beggar would happily let her, too!)

sorry, I don't think that helped any.

You could try some old-fashioned methods, like a token rewards system -one token for each step or something. 20 tokens get a prize!

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 10:16pm

You know it isn't so much the getting him to learn as much as it is the walking around with undone shoes all day that turned me to velcro. He can tie, just because of fine motor he does a lousy job. However, the OT here doesn't believe his fine motor is a big enough deal to address. He has a hard time with jeans buttons, and even eating with utensils still.

California is weird. The school will only deal with school related fine motor. He can write so it is cool. They figure daily living is the job of regional centers, however, regional center doesn't provide OT for school age children because it should be provided through the school.

At anyrate, Went to velcro because I got tired of him falling and such at school because his shoes were constantly untied. After K and some 1st grade teachers don't go around tying kids shoes anymore and it would look weird if they did. And He doesn't notice when it is untied.

Renee

Photobucket
Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 1:21am

While at our 2nd grade parents' night, the teacher mentioned that there were some kids in the class who didn't know how to tie their shoes yet, and asked if we'd work on it during the month of Sep. Well, David (8 in Nov) has never been willing to even attempt to learn to "tie shoes". He has never worn lace-up shoes, or even let me buy a pair for him. (Yes, I know, I'm the mom...but I pick my battles.) A few years ago I got him a toy that involves lacing things up, but he will NOT allow me to shoe him how to do it.

It's kind of confusing, because his fine motor coordination is okay, I think. He can build Legos and Bionicles like a champ, and his handwriting is good, as long as his mood is stable (ie, mood-disorder is helped with meds). He just will not try it, or give a reason why. So, I don't push. That's the type of thing I can't win with him. He also will not attempt to ride a bike without training wheels. Oct 5th is Walk and Roll day (ie bike to school) in our district, and there will be ONE bike with training wheels in the big kid bike corral. His. Oh well, you can lead a horse to water....

Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 7:25am

Kyle learned the steps in kindergarten but it was 4th grade before he could tie them independently without crying. Even now a yr later its a laborious task for him. Mostly he leaves them tied and just shoves his feet in.

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:07am

Yup, Malcolm CAN tie his shoes and he's even proud of it, one of his OTs decided it was a great project for him. BUT he won't wear shoes with ties. He is picky about shoes anyways, color, feel, and.... no ties. So slip-ons and velcro and zip-ups it is.

I agree that there are bigger battles to worry about here.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:57am

Very interesting topic... been surfing around here for my 32 mos ds who is waiting to be assessed for autism (appt in Jan/Feb they tell me) :( Anyway, the more I read about Autism etc the more I think about 10 yr ds who is adhd with LDs too. He has had a terrible time learning to tie his shoes... and eat with utensils too. We had given up on the shoes but it is getting harder and harder to find his size in anything 'cool' and he's already different enough so I feel that the right clothes are the least I can do for his self esteem... (big topic there!) Anyway, I had told him that I wouldn't buy him new sneakers until he learned to tie... all summer he wouldn't even try (not worth the tantrum to push it).. days before school he starts whining about having no new sneakers... I reminded him that he had to learn to tie (just happened to be in front of the teen babysitter 'cause I was leaving for work). She declared that teaching Jacob to tie would be her project for the day... and she did it! He is far less combatative with her than with me... knows she's 'cool'. Maybe this tact would work for others? I still tie one shoe while he ties the other (step by step so he can watch and follow) and I often re-tie his because it's not tight... but it's forward progress.

Side note... 'normal' (what's normal anyway!!??) sibling sister tied hers at 4 and will tie his too... you'd think he'd be embarrassed but he's not.

Pages