Leenie29 (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Leenie29 (m)
1
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 10:45pm
I had to laugh at your description of your in-laws! I have found that humor even in this situation does help. Thanks! I truly do not even know how to deal with mine at this point. My father-in-law still fails to see any problem with my son whatsoever and my dh and I feel that he thinks we just "need" a crisis in our lives to thrive. Yeah, right! I just wish for a little more sensitivity and I do appreciate your sharing your views on dealing with family. We are working on getting a diagnosis for Patrick. I have a strong feeling that he is going to be diagnosed with PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has many of the characteristics of mild autism. Our appointment is Sept.10 at Jersey shore university medical center. I have heard about the place in Mountainside that you mentioned as well. I think we'll feel better once we have a diagnosis. At least we can then have something concrete to tell everyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: copswife166
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 11:21pm
It's really hard in the beginning when you are trying to get a specific diagnosis for these unusual behaviors, you're dealing with a kid to the outside world appears to be an undisciplined brat, and dealing with in-laws who are clueless. It's enough to send you to the crazy house.

We minimize contact (and thank god they're "too busy" most of the time)and try to do everything on "our turf", so our son has a place to escape to when he melts. They still try to distract him (at 9 years old) by making clucking sounds (like he's a baby)which makes him crazier. They don't get the concept of just ignore him (my MIL says that's how he ended up this way)and let him work thru it. My in-laws believe that all these new Syndromes are just excuses for bad behavor. Yeah right!

The "worst" part of Asperger's is that the kids appear "typical". When they act up in public it's pretty ugly and it's usually made worse by a stranger that is usually an older person telling you that your child needs some good old fashioned discipline. Uggghhh!

On the OASIS website there is a great letter to grandparents about Asperger Syndrome. My in-laws read it and didn't get it. I also highlighted information from the Out of Sync Child and gave it to them (it's about sensory intergration dysfunction)and more cluelessness. They have all the information and the fact that they still don't believe us is no longer my problem, it's theirs.

Good luck on the 10th. Jersey Shore Medical Center has a great reputation in this area. My experiences have only been with Children's Hospital in Toms River and Mountainside.

Leenie