Library meltdown

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Library meltdown
8
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 3:30pm

Hi Everyone,


Well, Owen had the biggest meltdown at the library today.

Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pamww
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 4:04pm

((((HUGS))) I think of the library as my person torture chamber. so many eyes, so many rules, so much sensory overload! between Weston (HFA) having issues w/ the lights and the noise (or lack there of) and not being able to pick just one book and being overhelmed. Owen (3yrold monster) being so OVERLY excited by the sheer number of books and their colors and their accessability. I endure the library in the summer for my older kids to do the summer reading project, but I don't enjoy it. I so understand your dilema. I think letting them work through their meltdown was a good thing! and I'm sure it didn't bother most of those quiet people as much as it did you-- they probably don't even remember.

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
In reply to: pamww
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 7:35pm

(((Pam)))

~ Chelsea
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: pamww
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 7:49pm

Pam,

You absolutely did th right thing. These moments are tough, I know, but kudos to you for hanging in there!

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pamww
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 8:45pm

We just started being able to go to the library this year and only because certain children practice weekly at school, lol. Still we have to have a routine.

Meltdowns like that happen often for us. Usually we go automatically outside. We have grown to know pretty quick when it will be a situation where they will not reason and will lose it. Outside we go to the car (safer known environment) and when the kiddo is calm then we can discuss it and try to work out the problem. If they can't calm down over it, then we go.

This is hard if I am there with all 4 kids, especially when more than one can get into this problem at a time. I have gotten really good at lines that will just hold them together enough until we can get outside. So if Mike is starting to melt over a movie not there, I won't say it isn't there, but rather - "I can check in a sec. Hold on buddy you are ok. We will talk about it as soon as we get outside and make a plan." He will remain in the rumbling stage usually long enough for me to give the other kids thier cues and get them moving.

If it doesn't work I am not beyond just going out the door carrying those I need to and having other following me screaming all the way out the door and going directly home. Yes we can make quite the sight which is why I don't get out much, ROFL. Actually, we have gotten to where we can go more but I know our limits. What kind of places I can take them, how long, when these places are more empty and when I need exxtra support with me.

DH and I have a look now we give each other. It is the "It is time to GO NOW!" escape look.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
In reply to: pamww
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 7:45pm

Hi Pam,

I am so impressed that you stayed to work through the situation. I am also glad you started this thread. It does make me feel better to know we are not alone.

My son actually really likes books at home, but the library is also our "personal torture chamber" too. I've never had the patience to stay too long. Eric is 3 and he just gets sensory overload there. Has to touch every book, runs around like a banshee, then ends up throwing a tantrum trying to pull all the books off the shelves. We just don't go very often although it is a bit better now that I know what to expect and now I do a little social story beforehand and that helps.

Yes, Eric has set off the fire alarm too at the library, btw. Fun, isn't it?!

The library thing is especially hard for DH and me. DH is a college prof and I was a museum curator and grants writer before Eric's diagnosis. We love libraries.

But mostly I just wanted to say it sounds like you did a great job and I wish I were more brave!

Katherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: pamww
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:51pm

(((Hugs))) My daughter and I are some of the least popular people at our library. She just doesn't do quiet well. Then she runs everywhere. So I bring this little tazmanian devil into the library weekly anyway, because I believe it is important and I am trying to teach her social skills outside of the vaccuum that is our living room. But we still get the coldest stares from the librarians. I know how hard it is when you're getting the "Parents these days!" looks. The stress from that alone can be enough to wear you out. However! Give yourself a lot of credit for taking the time and making all that effort to bring your children to the library. That's wonderful and brave and shows what a caring mom you are. Now, just repeat that to yourself constantly while at the library and you'll feel much better. lol.

Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pamww
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 2:31pm

You moms are all so great and supportive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: pamww
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 3:07pm

Pam, sorry you had such a tough time!