Long vent...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Long vent...
2
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:16am

I'm sorry, but I often feel hopeless and don't know where to turn with issues like this. My son is 3 years old. The neuro diagnosed him PDD just three weeks ago. I have known since birth something wasn't right. Why doesn't his father see this though? He is of a different culture, he doesn't believe in medicating etc... he thinks our son will be "normal" anyday now. I get so frustrated in dealing with my son's issues, let alone my husband having an issue with my son's problems.

I have tried meds with our son, because he is endangering our younger son. Just yesterday he threw him on the ground, and the baby got a nosebleed (he is a year old). I try to watch every move he makes, but it isn't always possible to catch EVERY single thing he does! I called the neuro about the meds he his on (clonidine)... they make him extremely TIRED! They don't want to try anything else until he is older/bigger though. It is REALLY frustrating. They are pushing for behavior therapy, which I tried before a dx and they blamed it all on parenting of course. So I am getting ready to try it again.

Some days I am SOOOOO overly exhausted, I just with dh could be more understanding and supportive of everything. And then my son started a new Pre K EI program which I now think may have been a joke. They are having problems with the fact he isn't potty trained. They send home literature, they complain everyday nearly! OMG! I invited the teacher into our home (to see my son's hidden behaviors) and she now wants to bring the behavior specialist along to give me pointers on how to deal with him. They say he is just s stubborn child and spoiled. SORRY I dont think so!!!!!! At least not the spoiled part hehehehehe!

Well thanks for listening... I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Shana
PJ-3 PDD, Speech delayed, SID, developmentally delayed
JoJo-1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:28am

You sure have your plate full. It seems to me that potty training is low on the totem pole of concerns right now, as i sense you agree. I tend to have a problem with programs that point the finger at poor parenting. Dealing with a challenging child is very different when you are the parent involved!

No good advice, but just wanted to send you some cyber hugs. I had a sleep problem a year ago with my ASD son and no one would listen. Same thing, he's so young, we won't medicate him--you need to ferberize him. Bull hooey!. I just kept asking and looking til I found someone who would listen.

tc, valerie

~Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 10:55am

Wow...thats tough. Its very hard to do all this without the support of your spouse... and I know what it feels like to feel all alone, b/c although DH is extremely supportive, his work requires him to be away a LOt so often I am physically alone....

But, I do have an idea. I think you should meet with the teacher and tell her point blank, Potty training is not your priority right now. Your first priority is finding a way to handle your child's behavior. I don't think bringing a behavior specialist is necessarily a bad thing...she or he may be able to give you some tips to help with your son. You need to let the teacher understand that you all are supposed to be on the same team - the helping your son team, and if that means he stays in diapers longer, but is no longer a threat to himself or your younger son, so be it, so please don't send anymore fliers etc... Is your son even showing any signs of being ready to train??? I do think though, that the behavior specialist might be of some help, and if not, its not like you HAVE to do what they say.... Also, they may not blame your parenting now that you have a diagnosis.....

gl

ml