looking for instruction manual
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| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:07pm |
The past few weeks have been tough. Exh decided to take me to court...we have joint legal custody now. Well actually we've had it for 5 years, xh just let me believe that i had sole for that long. So I've made decisions believing i had sole custody- schools, drs. meds, etc. Son gained weight with risperdal and that upset xh enough to want to joint parent with me. Joint parenting is kinda difficult since i have a permanent restraining order against xh for assault. But we'll try it. My problem is my son 9 (ASD Bi polar). He has become extremely disrespectful and violent towards me. The yelling, fighting, just disagreeing with everything i say or do.I try to keep the "adult " stuff away from him. His dad tells him that i missed a court date and the judge is pissed at me.xh also plans to get physical custody of son..in 5 years. No he doesn't want him now, just in 5 years. i try to reassure son that i love him and want him with me. It's getting more difficult because everything is a fight. One of the reasons i took him for help was because of the violence toward me and the anger. It stopped for a while but reappeared about the time school started. Now I find out that was when xh was preparing to take me to court. There are times when son is screaming/fighting that I close my eyes and expect to see my xh standing there instead of his son. I believe xh has some of the dx that son has. Xh would never go for counselling and is upset that "his son" has been dx'd with anything.
So any suggestions for disciplining an almost 9 yr old who has anger, ASD, bipolar, disrespect, conflict from his parents relationship issues? I cannot allow him to continue
hitting me.He is the same size as me. Taking things away, early bedtimes,talking to him, making him write definitions of "respect", having my brothers speak to him- nothing has worked. The atmosphere in the home is not comfortable.
When he was born I'm sure there was instruction manual attatched, I just can't seem to find it now that I need it. Anyone have a copy they could loan to me? Or could you suggest a good book with the answers.

Oh honey,
I've got no good advice whatsoever.
Joint parenting is kinda difficult since i have a permanent restraining order against xh for assault. But we'll try it.
Why would you try it if you have a restaining order against him? Please please find him some therapy for his (your ds's)behavior and for yourself. I don't know how old your son is, but a therapist can do wonders! I know, my dd who is now 19 is doing great, and she had a play therapist at the age of 5. I went too and it so helped with us. It literly saved our lives!
It helped us sort things out, and also had some documentation we needed you know? Don't give in to a man thats violent. Don't do it. Your son is copying his behavior, and if you don't stop it now, he will have problems later in life that you won't be able to control.
This is said with care... I know I don't know you, but I do care.