loves getting in trouble.....
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loves getting in trouble.....
| Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:58pm |
hi,
i don't post here often.
i wanted to know what you guys do with the kids who laugh
in time out and LOVE negative attention???
no punishment works, my 5yo son doesn't care about getting
anything taken away.
i am just starting RDI this week, i live in NJ.
anybody out there with these issues?
thanks,
kris

I dont have an great advice...just alot of empathy.
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Hi there,
I have one of those kids, too. I think what you need to do is remain completely, utterly neutral and without emotion when you discipline DS. You're right, he is seeking negative attention! So the trick is to remove him from the situation without giving him the payoff of your anger, or frustration, or whatever. The only thing that works for my DD (4.5 y.o.) is to very calmly take her hand and remove her from the situation -- whether that means going up to her room, or sitting in a time out chair, or whatever. I just make sure that as soon as I put her where I'm putting her, I leave -- again, very calmly and without emotion, because if she catches even a hint of frustration from my voice or body language, she's gotten the payoff she was looking for. But if you keep all emotion out of it, you take away that negative attention he was seeking. The flip side, of course, is that you have to REALLY reward him with positive attention whenever you catch him doing something good!!! That way he'll learn (eventually, lol) to seek attention from you in more appropriate ways...
In fact I just responded to a post in the "question of the week" section of the board that relates to this. Scroll down there and read the question about "discipline and PDD-NOS."
HTH!!!!!
Jennifer
hi Kris,
One of the things that has helped me with this as my ds has grown is to always remember that he is developmentally delayed because he cannot read the situations around him as well as other children his age. He is behind, even though in ds' case, he looks considerable older than his age and has very advanced language!! So I often end up considering what I would do if I were disciplining a much younger child. And that usually makes the difference. When it is a younger child, you remove them from the situation, calmly explaining what it is they are not supposed to do. You keep an eye on them, keep temptation away as much as possible, not expecting them to remember, and then you calmly do it all over again.
The good news is, as they get older, they also develop and they CAN learn. But I still find it more effective to think of ds as a younger child when figuring out effective discipline. And now he will be 9 years old next week. So he's being disciplined closer to 6 year old these days...
And now time outs work, also taking away privileges. And I still calmly repeat over and over what it is he needs to learn, sometimes I make a social story or book about that he needs to learn as well, spelling out the rules and expectations clearly, also what the consequences will be if rules are not followed. That is because with ds, the written word penetrates faster and more permanently than verbal communication blah, blah, blah, blah Peanuts grownup talk etc....
Hope that helps. Good luck with the RDI. We had ds in private school in NYC that uses RDI in the classroom all day long for almost 2 years and that really helped ds very much. My dh and I still employ many of the techniques with ds in our daily lives and communication.
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Sara,
is he in a different school now?
did you go to a workshop or read the book by Gustein?
i just had my rda this week, i am working with Lisa Strata
in Westfield, NJ, i live in Cranford and am not happy with
the school....i tried to get them to pay for rdi....it has
been a struggle to get anything appropriate for him.
he is very high functioning and that is a disadvantage
re: related services. has nyc been kind?
btw, jason has cp and uses a walker to walk. also high functioning
cp..if that makes sense.
have any locals from this board ever met? group outing?
kris - shawnstalter@comcast.net