lurker with a question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2005
lurker with a question
2
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 5:35pm

I have a very good friend. She has a 9 yr old son. He is not autistic, but he has autistic like tendencies, and has been labeled pdd. His skull was crushed when he was born causing brain damage and he has little brain seizures.

OK for my question. Before I had a baby now 19 months old, I had a really good time with him and no problems sitting and playing with him. I am not sure if I have changed or if his behavior has just gotten worse.

He does not talk, except for a few words mom, dad...He has super sensitive hearing and acts horribly to noises. For instance my daughter started crying and he went and pulled her hair. Another time I raised my voice to my daughter and he started attacking me, digging at my skin, pinching, and biting. He bites, pinches, hits, pushes. I have gotten to the point I just oinch him back as hard as I can, but unfortuantly he feeld

I ended up getting into a physical fight with him and pinned him to the ground... But their has to be a better way. I have gotten to the point where I pinch him back as hard as I can, but unfortuantly he feels no pain because he lived with extreme pain for several years before they figured out he had seizures in his brain. Nothing phases him.

How can he be controlled so he does not hurt people? He flips out with kids, adults, in a convenience store because the freezer made a noise, walmart.

He is on his 3rd or 4th behavior specialist, 8th neurologist, and 3rd pediatrician. The only medication he takes is Depacote? (seizure medicine)His mother does not want him zombie like medicated? I have never researched treatments. I am really just concerned on how to treat him when he becomes so violent.

Btw-My mom (masters in childhood development)says he is on the road to a group home or institution. I hope not but somedays I have to think that may be safer?

Any tips and ideas for how I should react to him and for my daughters safety?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2004
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 7:13pm

Lurker,

I have a PHD in psyc and one child on the spectrum, so I can relate on 2 levels to the child you are describing. I think your best bet is to do prevention. Then, when there is the inevitable blow up, use deep pressure (wrestle him to the floor and apply pressure with your body). Therapy balls, beanbags, and couch cushions work well for deep pressure too, and they shield you from the child's biting and hitting, if that is an issue.

For the level of functioning you are talking about with your friend's child, I don't know if consequences will be easily understood. So, it may just be better to work on prevention and calming, as I have described. I would also try to keep him confined to a safe "soft" environment where he cannot hurt himself, since he is unable to sense pain normally.

Keeping your daughter safe is another issue. I would keep her away from his reach whenever possible because an autistic brain-injured person who functions at that level cannot be trusted to keep in mind the needs of a small child. If you keep everything in a safe "soft" environment, then you can also choose easily between intervening with the autistic child and your own daughter, as you may have to do with a 19 month old. The good thing about NT 19 month olds is that they can also be taught appropriate wariness of people, like the child you describe, and your DD probably understands enough language for you to tell her to go sit on the couch or somewhere out of reach, if you have to intervene with the autistic boy.

Unfortunately, there are no really good solutions to this kind of situation, just prevention and protection of yourself and your daughter. Behavior problems, like the ones you mention, are the best predictors (regardless of IQ) of whether a person on the spectrum will be institutionalized or placed in special classes. That is something your friend may have to face down the road, and it will be a hard choice for her. As the mother of an ASD child, I can say that your role in watching this boy to give his mother a break is a very important one. We currently have no one who can do this for our son, and it is exhausting for us to be the parents of such a child for the long hours we work at it.

Good luck to you and thanks for stopping by our board.

Suzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 9:41pm

There is so much we don't know from your post but I do have a few general suggestions.

Pat

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. --