Me again, with another potty question...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Me again, with another potty question...
3
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 2:56pm
If your child is older and not yet potty trained, what do you do as far as diapers or pull-ups? Or are they just required to clean up their own mess in their pants? Does your child wear diapers or pull-ups, and if so, how do you ever find the right size?

Thanks,

Laurie

Laurie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 5:49pm
Laurie,

Two of my dd's were late in potty training. One was 4yo and while she would pee in the potty most times she refused to BM there. DH got sick of it and took all the pull-ups away. I was against it at first, for several reasons. First that's just yucky. Ayla wouldn't say anything when she went in her panties so she would just sit in it. I had to keep a very close eye on her and check her pants frequently, more frequently than I would with pull-ups because of the leakage factor. Second I was worried about how it would effect her emotionally. Would she think we were being cruel? She has applied her Aspie stubborness to the area of resentments, she holds them forever.....even the warped ones. Once she gets an idea in her head that someone has wronged her she sticks with it and no one can convince her otherwise.

Well, since we had tried just about everything else, including getting advice from one of my proffesors who was a dev ped, I gave it two weeks. DH's rules were this: She couldn't go anyplace that reqired being gone from the house for more than an hour because he didn't want me to have to 'clean her up' in public. Second while I was the one who checked her frequently she was the one who had to clean her own mess up. That included the floors or anything else she got 'stuff' on. 409 became her best friend. But low and behold, in under 2 weeks, she was trying as hard as she could to make it to the potty and was making it most times. In 3 weeks she was potty-trained, and without a resentment in sight.

So when another dd turned 3.5 and was still in diapers after all the normal training attempts we did the same thing. She was potty trained in a week flat and out of night time pullups a week after that.

We have one more kid to go through training with. Hopefully she won't be as stubborn as two of her five older sisters were. But this time I'm not waiting for age 3 or 4. She gets it as soon as she can put together the sentance "Mom, my butt's dirty."

So I guess my advice is, make them clean it up themselves, no diapers, pull-ups, or any of that.

Peace,

Candes

Peace,
Candes  
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 4:28pm
I did the same thing as Candes but our situation took a little longer. When my son turned four that was it. I told him four year olds do not wear diapers and took them away. I would say a whole month went by before there was NOT a daily accident. He would NEVER tell me when he would have to go so I would put him on the toilet every so often and just wait. If he didn't go after about five minutes he got to get up and go. I don't think I left the house that month, or if I did it was for a SHORT time. I did not give in and let me tell you I consider that one of the hardest toddler, okay preschooler, experiences I've had with him. I also went through a ton of laundry detergent and cleaner. I did laundry constantly and I kept reminding myself he WILL GET IT (I didn't know when but HE WOULD GET IT eventually). Just to protect my furniture I doubled the training pants and bought some washable waterproof underwear (check Target's baby section, very cool underwear for my sake). My kid would pee like you wouldn't believe. Buckets would literally come out of this kid and I had a cat that was trying to compete with him in the peeing department. So, I had to have something that caught the pee and still kept my son wet, the double training pants and waterproof underwear did just that. He hated the wet feeling and that was what I wanted (BTW, my son was still able to soak his clothes with three pairs of underwear - it just didn't run all over the floor). As for BM, well that was disgusting but I dealt with it. I absolutely hated cleaning poopy underwear but I told myself going back to diapers was not going to improve anything. It took until six months later to have absolutely no accidents. The final one was at preschool and that was that. I think it may have ahd something to do with peer pressure. So between our hardest first month and the last accident, I would say that he had anywhere from two to three accidents a week. I always kept a clean set of clothing in the car whereever I went and a clean set at preschool. I never knew when I would need it and I couldn't always leave to go home and clean him up.

So, if you are ready to deal with a difficult time, I'd say take it away and deal with it. I don't think I need to mention this, but don't get angry with him. I know I was getting fed up with my son but getting angry didn't solve the issue and would only have made him feel worse. TAKE EXTRA CLOTHES (including an extra pair of shoes) WITH YOU WHEREEVER YOU GO. I can't say how many times that has saved my behind. I also have to admit to my son leaving a few pee puddles in business establishments. I usually try to let someone know or get it myself, but well, you know how things go sometimes. Oh, and check out Target for the waterproof underwear. That was the best investment I ever made in clothing.

Good luck with it all. I know how tough this can be. Remember he will get it!!

bless

bugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 7:13pm
Oh how I wish we had been able to find those super-undies for Eva. We had heard about them through a friend but we couldn't find them anywhere. We DID, however, bite the monitary bullet and bought a Hoover SteamVac. If anyone is looking into these kinds of machines I highly recomend this brand. We just got the basic one with no fancy options, but I couldn't be more pleased with it. Okay, it WOULD be pleasing to never have to use it, LOL.

Candes

Peace,
Candes