Mention it to a friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Mention it to a friend?
5
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 1:45pm

Hello All!



I love this board. My ds (just about 5) was dx with Asperger's Syndrome early this summer (though we've known something was really wrong about a year ago.) I am so happy to know that we finally have a diagnosis and can move forward...



now, I have a question...a good friend of mine has noticed that her 2.5 yr. old nephew exhibits many symptoms of Autism. She is afraid to mention it to her sister in law (who happens to be a nurse at Children's Hospital.) She called me for advice and honestly I want to tell her to say something, but on the other hand I think she shouldn't. BUT, I remember when we told my MIL about ds she said, "Oh thank god you're having him tested, I knew something was wrong w/him." and I felt like, geez, and you didn't even mention it to me that you thought something was wrong with our son! I told her that if she feels anything out of the ordinaary with either of my kids I want her to tell me. But, inside too I felt badly that she was thinking that of my son. Now, I am fine with it.



My friend is not close to her sister in law and my freind's husband just recently reconnected w/his brother (the child's dad.) so he doesn't want to rock the boat. From what she mentioned to me I feel this child could most likely has autism. (no eye contact, flaps hands, makes noises, no words.) It's clear that something is not right. My friend says she gets sick to her stomach everytime she leaves their home because she wants to tell her but is so scared to. I suggested maybe writing a letter, but she just doesn't know what to do.



Any advice on what you guys would do? She is desperate and sad for her nephew and wants

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 1:59pm

Its hard and if there hadn't been previous issues between the brothers I would say yes for her to mention it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 2:12pm

I would probably not mention the "A" word, but would ask her if she isn't concerned about the lack of language and that maybe a speech therapist should look at him. That's a nice safe topic and it would get the child into a professional who could bring up the need for additional evaluation. It was a speech evaluation that first brought up the need for additional attention to us.

The child in question is young enough for early intervention, I think. If not, the school district could be contacted. Both would be free evaluations and might start the ball rolling.

Just the way I would approach a difficult situation.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 4:24pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 4:31pm

Her husband did speak to his mother and she is in denial too. She basically said, they have enough on their plate with work and having 2 children they don't need to hear from me that there is a problem with one of them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 4:33pm
Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm going to pass it all along to my friend. I don't know if I would be able to say anything if the shoe were on the other foot, but would hope that I would be able to find a way to somehow have it brought up by someone so that he could get the intervention he needs.
Thanks again!
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