Miserable in preschool
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| Fri, 09-23-2005 - 2:04pm |
Nathan, my "relatively NT" 4-year-old just started preschool. Our city has a preschool program with the parks and rec department, and it's really our only choice, since we don't have hundreds of dollars to spend on preschool each month. This isn't free, but it's manageable. CA doesn't have public preschool, although they expect children to have school experience when they get to K. :(
Anyway, today was his fourth day of school. They go MWF, but he had a cold and missed a few days. Each day has been sooooo hard. Nathan has never been to a class of any kind, with or without me. (Well, we tried a few tumbling classes when he was 1.5, but the music and mothers were too loud and he HATED it.) He's been so resistant to the idea, that I never considered pushing it. I mean, why would anyway try to push a little bitty kid to do some kind of class if they'd rather stay home and play? Well, EVERY other kid in his class seems to have been going to preschool or daycare since they were born. Nathan, on the other hand, gets SO scared, it's just awful. I've rarely seen him so scared, and it's really hard.
When I pick him up, after his 3 hour day, he seems relieved to see me, and his body language says he's worn out emotionally. I'm told that he observes the other kids from the back of the room, but doesn't join in. I'd be absolutely floored if one of my kids "joined in" with a group, so that sounds fine to me. The first day, he cried for the first hour and a half, but they say he calms down pretty soon after I leave. And last time he went to school, he was able to tell me about a story that the teacher read to them, so he must be doing *okay*.
So here's my question: How many days of crying, and holding on to the carseat straps for dear life do you go through before you say, "okay, he's just not ready for this?"
Any thoughts would be welcome.
Evelyn

evelyn,
Dave was miserable in the parks and rec preschool program here in our town too. Fortunately our special ed preschool has an inclusion component to it and there is also a program for typical peers where they are part day in a regular preschool and part day in reverse mainstream in a special ed preschool. That worked wonderfully for Dave for though he didn't have enough needs to qualify for the program as a SN student they were able tomeet his needs in there just by the way the class was set up and the way the special ed preschool teachers worked.
And the best part is that it is about 1/2 the price of regular preschool. It was more than our parks and rec but much less than private preschool.
maybe there is a similar program in your area. I know both towns I lived in had integrated preschools and though the NT kids pay it is way less than other preschools.
That is one idea.
Renee
This is a hard one because it sounds like you're a lot like me. I always felt like maybe my kids needed to go to some sort of preschool so they could get used to the social aspect of things. At the same time I know the time I have with my kids is relatively short and once they start school they'll spend most of their waking hours there. I was fortunate with my older two because they are only 14 months apart and could go together to parents day out and that made it easier but my daughter still cried and I ended up only sending them about 10 times. My youngest is three and very attached to his mommy. I've thought about putting him in parents day out but he's decided to drag his feet on potty training so I'm not going to push him.
The thing I have learned about school is that once they start kindy there really isn't much time for kids to truly interact. My kids' school days are very structured and there is little free time where kids actually get to talk with one another. It's so funny to watch the all the children walk out of school and wave to one another and say hello to the kid that was sitting next to them in class all day. I think the socialization aspect of preschool is overrated and that playdates are much more beneficial to kids that might be on the spectrum. JMHO. Vicky
Vicky,
I also am a firm believer in the value of playdates. Unfortunately, our friends stopped being available for playdates once the kids were two, because they were so booked up with preschool, soccer, ballet, and story time (okay, and naps).
Then again, when David was little, I decided against preschool because he had plenty of play time with a couple of kids at the park AND he could read, but when he got to kindergarten it was a disaster, so we put him in preschool for a year.
Evelyn