"Mom, what did it feel like when....

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Registered: 03-26-2003
"Mom, what did it feel like when....
6
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 11:13pm

you fell in love?"

Yup, my oldest aspie asked me this question tonight. Cait has her first crush!!!!! Isn't it sweet. It is the Aspie boy in her class that she has all 8 classes with. They spend thier whole day together. I know it is because she finally has a friend to spend her time with so naturally it being a boy she may have strong feelings, but we had quite the talk tonight.

She says she gets all tingly, lol. I know Mithcell is no where near ready to think of Cait the same way. Heck I even know Cait isn't ready or fully understands. Heck she is 11.

So we talked about how it feels. What is appropriate at her age. When she will be allowed to date. That it is ok to have a crush on a boy but it is likely that he isn't ready and to stay friends and not push the romance part. That if she was invited to a dance this year she would be allowed to go as long as I chaparone and dating will be around 15-16. And naturally to act like a lady, lol. We'll see how this goes, but how CUTE! My girl is growing up.

Renee

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 7:51am

Awwwwww.

How sweet. And somewhat scary!

-Paula

-Paula

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Registered: 10-24-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 8:52am

Wow!! My first reaction is Cait's younger than my NT nieces were when they first talked about "love" (around 13).

Pat

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. --

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Thu, 09-01-2005 - 9:51am
That is so sweet!

 


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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 10:05am

Well, that is the thing. I think mostly it is more of a crush or perhaps even just the happiness at a real friend. Aspies, at least mine, are all or nothing people aren't they. THis is a poor kid who never has had a real friend. Plenty she called friends but the actual friendship wasn't really there. Usually they tolerated her or used her and most times she was alone. She does now has one other girl with AS she sees in group that is a friend but she sees her 2-3 times a month. A couple times outside therapy but not real frequent so it isn't the same as a school buddy.

She spends every day with this boy and it is someone who looks forward to seeing her as much as she does him. I am sure for her it is an extremely powerful feeling of happines and gosh that is nice. At her age and being a girl in puberty who sees things like "love" even on kids tv and in music, I am sure that is very very confusing.

Paula - somewhat scary? REALLY REALLY SCARY except that it is another AS boy. That takes a whole lot of the scare out of it. He is definitely a boy mom can approve of. He is about a good foot shorter than Cait (rofl) but will grow. He is a very nice, polite young man and not to bad looking either.

He's the one that ends up getting Cait to class because he is one of the routine ones and Cait just chats with him all the way there. So as long as she has a crush on him she should be getting to class on time!

Renee

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Registered: 02-24-2004
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:08pm

Renee,

That is sooo sweet!!! I'm glad Cait has such a nice friend to hang around with. I'm anxious, myself, to see how my little guy does when he gets older!

Michelle

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 2:31pm

OMG, Renee! I can almost feel the breeze as time whooshes by. They grow up so fast!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My David has recently gotten a bunch of his adult teeth, and he just looks so grown up. He's in the second grade now, so instead of walking him to his class, I drop him off at the place where the big kids assemble for "morning message." It feels weird.

Here's another thing: We've got new neighbors next door, and their son is a very articulate, bright young man (and good looking). He stops and chats with me when I'm sitting out front sometimes. One day I asked how old he was, and he said he was 14. Well...I was really taken aback, because he seems much older, and I had been allowing myself to think, very discreetly, "hmm, not bad looking...if I were 20 years younger...", and that kind of stuff. So, when he said he was 14, you could just about hear the gears in my brain screech to a halt, "WHOA!!! Yikes!!" He's exactly twice David's age. I thought about that a bit. When you are a kid, seven years is a lifetime, but when you are 38 it goes by so fast you don't know what hit you. One minute, they are clutching your finger with a tiny hand for the first time, the next minute they are starting kindergarten, and the next minute they are a foot taller than you. I look at this kid next door and I think, "Wow, just a few years ago he probably was a lot like David. Changes happen so fast."

Of course, my take on all this is all based on boys, 'cause that's what I've got. It sounds like Cait is right on track. My mom and I have talked a lot about adolescence as we watch my kid's, and my 18 year old niece grow up (I remember meeting my niece as a baby, and it really does seem like just yesterday!) Real brain changes happen, you can expect to see big changes, not just physically, but in how her brain works. I'm convinced that the best thing parents can do is to keep the lines of communication not just open, but flowing. I think too many parents cut the cord when their kids look physically grown-up. Mine certainly did, and I've got plenty of horror stories. LOL!

Good luck!

Evelyn
David 7, Nathan 4