Mommy my Tooth is Broken!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Mommy my Tooth is Broken!
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 2:00pm
ok does anyone have any ideas of HOW to explain to my son about this new change in his routines? I can find tons of stuff about what to do but not what to say, particularly to a child like ours.

thanks in advance


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 2:42pm
I try to let my son know several days in advance with small reminders

in between. However, when I do that, he also worries about it

too much until the time comes. He's gotten better about it though these

last few months. He's planning on going to an overnight

camp with the special misinstries at church and he hasn't

obsessed about it too much. He just lets me know each morning when

he wakes up that his bed was dry. With my son I think the

best way for him is to tell him the day before the change and let him knkow

exactly what is going to be changed, extra stuff that will be done and

the usual things that won't be done. So for example we won't

go camping and he expect to watch cartoons while we have a fishing

pole thrown in the river out in the middle of no
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 7:21pm
You could make a picture chart of each event and what time each event is.

It's calming b/c they can see what they will be doing.

Good luck,


Avatar for onegirltwoboys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 11:29pm
My ds is 9 and I guess he's pretty mild AS (compared to some things I've read here) but I keep a calendar. I homeschool, am a den leader in scouts, have a ds in public school, the kids have activities (piano, scouts, sports, homeschool activities, etc) and I have church meetings, etc. So I need a calendar just to keep everything straight. Ds used to ask all the time what we were doing the next day. (I've never had a set routine so I guess he learned to ask b/c it helped prepare him? Not sure, he was just dx'd this year w/ AS though) Well, now he looks at my calendar and actually reminds ME of things we ahve to do! lol! I think definitely tell them a day or so in advance and if they can read or understand a calendar and plans, mark it on the calendar for everyone to see and review it daily (for the next day) or weekly (like on a Sunday, review what's going to happen that week). It helps w/ us anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 3:45am
uh, ok, all well & good but with all the rush to get the message posted I forgot to type a line. YIKES! I meant UNEXPECTED changes in routines like when your first tooth comes out (hence the title) :-D They don't sit still long enough for an explaination but they are still flipping out. We don't have set day to day routines either & because when I try to, he becomes even more ridgid about keeping them, I've warned his teachers that I WON'T keep to one.

But anyway, I called his dad on the phone to tell him "the good news" & he reminded me that he has a mirror in his 'puter repair kit, like a dentists mirror. I lucked out on this one, the new tooth is already visable BEHIND the baby tooth & we could show him. We also showed him our adult teeth & his little brother's baby teeth & tried to explain to him again & it worked better. I also gave him his tooth brush to use instead of his fingers(yuck) I think the blood & the discomfort flipped him out more then anything. (thank you GOD for not letting my adult molars come in 'til I was 20!) With kindergarten starting soon we might also go "big kid" toothbrush shopping along with the regular school stuff.

Side Question? Does anyone's else's child go "deeper" in to the spectrum when they are uncomfortable like this? & should I treat this like a toddler getting teeth & try alittle tylenol or just let him be? And what about the BLOOD thing?



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 4:25pm
Hi Stacey, I thought that was what you meant, but I wasn't sure.

We did have a problem with that when it came to Jade. She really flipped out on the first few teeth she lost. We talked to her dr about it, read all the books, and it ended up being grandma that came to the rescue. My dgm went out and got a book from the library that really helped Jade. I can't remember the name of the book right now, I think it was "I really lost my tooth!". (Jade and dgm are at camp until Saturday, I'll ask them when they get back and let you know).

But in the story a little girl has a loose tooth. She wiggles it and twists it, just like her Mommy said to do. Then, when she's at school she plays and does her work and forgets all about the loose tooth. At one point one of her friends points out that the tooth is gone. The little girl can't remember when or where it fell out and she's in a frenzy over it. Her classmates help her look for it but no one can find it. Later that night she writes the Tooth Fairy a note explaining that she really did loose her tooth and she promises to keep better track next time. In her note the girls also asks the Tooth Fairy what she does with all those teeth. The next morning the little girl finds a small game under her pillow (and HOW did the 'tooth fairy' get something like that under there?) with a note that says something like "If you want to know what I do with all those teeth go look in your little brother's mouth." So she runs downstairs and tickles her brother till he smiles. And there, in his mouth, is a shiney new baby tooth coming in.

Kinda hookie, but Jade really liked it. She asked us to read it to her several times a day while we had it on loan. She knows there is no such thing as the tooth fairy and that everyone is born with the buds for all the teeth they will ever have already in their mouths. But it really helped her calm down about the whole thing.

As far as the blood goes, I personaly don't have any advice. My kids don't get freakked out about that....they are actually facinated by surgical routines and stuff (ick).

On regressions, YES, we have had a few. UGH! All three kids have problems with regressing when under stress. Ayla and Eva don't have it happen as badly as Jade does sometimes. Infact that was the #1 reason we took Jade out of public school. Before going to school she was a little chatter box, didn't make any sense, but she talked all the time, was warm and friendly with her family, etc. But after a few months in school she started to slow down physically, her stimming picked up a lot, and she slowly stopped talking. She withdrew until she stopped verbalizing all together, except to scream at us when we touched her. She made Rainman look llike a diplomat. We tried several different kinds of class situations, therapies, even meds, but nothing worked. She continued to withdraw until she wouldn't even hold a pencil anymore. At that point schooling was futile. Her drs had us take her out of school, which we agreed with. And within weeks she made significant improvemnt. Within 6 mo she was her old chattery self. We've homeschooled ever since. Don't get me wrong, I know homeschooling isn't the answer for everyone, but for Jade it was. Some kids do much better in school than they would in a homeschooling situation.

For us, we have found that removing or minimizing the stressfull situations while they are younger helps them to deal with what's going on. You can't always remove stress or situation causing the stress but do look for ways to reduce it. We started slowly introducing Jade to the things she gets the most frustraited with in more controlled circumstances. Now she can go to camp a few times a year, takes an art class outside of the home once a week, and participates on a team for PE. These days when people first meet her they don't notice that there is anything different about her. They have to get to know her before they see the ASD.

I hope at least some of this helps.