Mood disorder rearing its ugly head
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| Tue, 07-04-2006 - 2:30am |
Well,
I just got a taste of what it's like when David's mood stabilizer medication isn't working effectively. It only lasted about 15 minutes, but it was pretty ugly. He was playing with his brother, Nathan, and Nathan was *gasp* trying to have some creative imput. Nathan was being the bad guy, and was trying to steer the story so that he/bad guy prevails. David had decided ahead of time how things were going to be, and that wasn't it. Eventually David just lost his temper and went ballistic. He kicked Nathan in the stomach, hard! He went into that irrational place, where I just couldn't reach him. He was throwing things, knocking chairs over, and when he went to knock a piece of expensive computer equipment (that DH needs for work), DH grabbed him and held him down, which is REALLY bad to do with David. DH was trying to take him outside, so he wouldn't break anything...or possibly so the neighbors could share the experience, but I said NO.
When he's held down in this state, he's like a scared wild animal. I hate to say it, but when he's like that, *I* have to be with him. DH tries, but even when he speaks quietly and tries to be calm, he's not. So David just sat on the floor and cried. He was yelling stuff like, "Why am I even alive if horrible stuff like this is going to always happen to me!" I know not to talk too much. If I talk when David is in this state, he'll freak out because I'm "interrupting him." Still, I could see that he was breathing real fast, so I calmly told him he could start to "be okay" by slowing his breathing way down. He screamed that that was the stupidest thing anyone ever said and to shut up. He did calm down pretty soon, though.
I'm hoping we don't get much more of this, but it's been a while since we adjusted his meds, and he's a growing boy. There was about six months, before he was dx when every moment was like that, and often worse. Things have been so great lately, that I've kind of pushed the "mood disorder NOS" part of his dx to the back of my mind.
Sometimes it feels scary, because when he's all grown up, who's going to remind him to take his meds? Or what if he's in a relationship with someone who doesn't take kindly to being kicked in the stomach all of a sudden? He is such a sweet, gentle, loving, wonderful person, but this Mood Disorder monster takes over sometimes, and makes him so miserable. He adores his brother, and would NEVER hurt him intentionally. Later on, when David had been calm for a while, Nathan came over and gave him a huge huge, and David hugged him back.
Well, they're both asleep now, and I should be too. BTW, Nathan wasn't badly hurt. I tried to explain what was happening, and how David didn't mean to hurt him. He was too busy playing with a truck, though, and didn't respond.
Evelyn
David 8.5 AS, mood disorder NOS
Nathan 4.5
I guess I'll be calling the dev. ped. about this, though.

Evelyn,
That post just completely broke my heart.
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Evelyn,
Many ((((hugs)))) to you... I understand the heartbreak you feel for BOTH of your boys. Your post comes at the right time for me. I've been wondering for a while whether or not we need to look into a mood stabilizer for DS (dx AS), or if we just need to learn to manage him better in times of frustration/ anger (see my post 'meds for aggression/ impulsivity'). Where is the line between AS aggression/ inability to appropriately respond and mood disorder? DS isn't *always* like that, only when he can't cope with a situation. If I put him on a mood stabilizer, will it affect the 'good' part of his personality, ie. make him 'out of it'? These are questions I need to ask a doctor, but I'm not happy with his current Ped. He's the one who wanted to put DS on Ritalin after an interview with DH and I, having never met DS.
Thank you for posting and I hope things get back on an even keel soon. Give Nathan an extra hug. Sometimes I think it's so much harder for the siblings of our kids... I know it's hard for ALL of us, but I struggle with how my little guy often ends up taking the brunt of his brother's fury.
Melissa
((HUGS))
I really feel badly for you. Reading your story reminded me of growing up with my sister who has some mental health issues. She always had some serious outbursts of rage from time to time and it did get quite scary at times. My mom also worried about the things you did regarding my sisters future. I will say as my sister got older it got hard for my mother to make her take her meds and for a while she was in a lot of denial about having a mental illness but after a while she did realize how much she needed to take her meds to stabalize her mood and now she always takes them. She has a family of her own now and is doing really well most of the time and only occasionally needs her meds to be adjusted which usually happened after she had a baby.
TERESA
Melissa,
Today has been MUCH better, so who knows what that all about.
To address your concerns--If a mood stabilizer is working well, it shouldn't make him "out of it." When David's meds are at the right level, he's just a normal little boy. Well, okay, he's an Aspie, with Aspie quirks and challenges. And he had plenty of "moments." The mood stabilizer doesn't change who he is. It frees him.
I'm saddened, but not surprised, that the doctor wanted to put your son on Ritalin without even meeting him. We took our son to a developmental pediatrician, who met with us for four hour-long appointments. First was just with us, the parents. That's when we told her everything we could, and gave her a lot of filled-out questionnaires. The next two appointments were just her and David. The next one was with the parents again. That's when she had a dx and recommendations for medication. She had two meds that she was considering, and wanted us to read about them in a book called, "Straight Talk About Psychiatric Medications for Kids" by Timothy Wilens, M.D. She offered to photocopy relevant pages, but we decided to just go buy the book (which I recommend.) We learned about possible side effects and what the medications do, and then told the doctor which one we thought would be a good choice to start with. I guess that sounds weird, but it worked.
Best of luck!
Evelyn
Evelyn,
Glad to hear he is doing better today. HOpe that was just a one time event. It is those rare events that remind us why we got diagnosis and help for our kiddo's in the first place.
Here's hoping that was the last such event.
Renee
Thanks, Evelyn. I'm glad to hear things are getting better with you guys.
I have borrowed the "Straight Talk" from the library a few times over the last year. I guess it's time to get it again. Because of DS's insurance (state funded), we have to pay out of pocket for a developmental pediatrician eval. When I called about it last year, there was a four month waiting period. We do have some help available through another state program, but so far we haven't found what works with DS (traditional therapy was useless). They are sending him to a summer camp program in August which is run by an OT, ST and psychologist which is supposed to focus on social skills, sensory issues, regulation, ect. I'm hoping that will give him some skills to deal with his anger and frustration issues. He'll also be attending a camp program (paid for by school dist.) for kids with ASDs. I'm hoping that maybe I can get some professional points of view from those who don't alreay know DS... maybe they'll see something that will confirm my suspicions. I know I'll have to have some 'ammunition' in order to bring up meds with DH. He's so dead set against it.
Thanks for your support.
Melissa
Dear Melissa,
I BTDT with dh against drugs, and of course who wants to give their kids drugs? Psychotropic especially...
But I said to my dh during one of our many discussions "But what if we are denying him something that could really help him do better and learn more about getting along with others as an independent person? What if the drugs would help him cope better, therefore be able to learn more, then even possibly someday NOT NEED the drug?"
In our case, we are working now with a small dose of anti-depressant. While the anger is not gone, he does have much more ability to stay front and present, more in control and verbally able to express himself when VERY angry...
Good luck with everything. Stress is the enemy.
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Evelyn,
I am so glad to hear things are a little better for your family now. I really felt for you when I read your post. I hope things continue to get better too.
I have some questions about mood disorders, but maybe I'll start a separate thread.
Sending hugs,
Katherine