More Aspie behavior this week
Find a Conversation
More Aspie behavior this week
| Thu, 12-15-2005 - 12:18pm |
Just when I think we are making lots of progress, lots of undesired behaviors start to appear in force.
| Thu, 12-15-2005 - 12:18pm |
Just when I think we are making lots of progress, lots of undesired behaviors start to appear in force.
Hi Pam
((((hugs))))) that is tough. You are right, the holidays are really tough on our guys and can cause an increase in behavior. Most stressful times do, but take heart, they continue to progress just not on our time but on thier own.
I know what you mean. I have been thinking about this very thing alot lately. The whole acceptance thing I think is very hard with ASD's because of this. It seems like you are making loads of progress and you trick yourself into thinking you found that right thing. That fix, and then when there is a moment when you see the differences between your child and others it is like having to go through the acceptance process all over again. Like a minor version of when you get that diagnosis. Perhaps because there is such a push for "recovery" with autism it feels like there is the constant pressure that things may be ok, but you don't know if they will. It is that constant state of not knowing. Even now, my kids are both SDC but I still don't feel like I know if they will be independent adults and it is hard not to focus on the future.
I went through this recently too with Mike's last IEP. He had made so much progress this past year to hear the glaring differences between him and his typical peers in the mainstream class was really really had for a number of reasons.
So I have discussed this with friends and I am reminded that they are making progress on thier own time. That different isn't a horrible thing (It isn't. It is being able to function in the typical world while being untypical that scares me) My therapist still is convinced that Mike will meet a girl and get married. That Cait will have a job. God I hope so.
Renee
Yes, it is hard not to worry. But I do know many "odd" grownups, some with some pretty strong aspie traits, who have managed to hold down jobs, get married. I know others who don't seem to have aspie traits who cannot hold down jobs, have never married, have multiple divorces. I see the differences in my son, and yet I also see where he is not different. How a child does in a large group under stress, such as during a performance or a competitive sport, is not the 24-7 of beingness or normalcy!!!
Recently another parent of an ASD student from Malcolm's current ASD school was commenting on how the school wasn't helping our kids socially, after observing them at an all-school birthday party with a magician and cake!!! I laughed and said those were unfair circumstances to make that judgement from. I had recently observed alot of footage of these same kids in the classroom, where the miracle was that they were answering questions, interacting, enjoying themselves. Yes, there was a great deal of intervention by teachers to help some of the kids accomplish that, but that footage was not so different from any other classroom! Malcolm with 2 of his best friends (twins, one ASD, one NT) playing magic treehouse scenarios and discussing movies they have seen recently, well, probably somewhat behind other 8 year olds but not so far off...
We know it can be done because others with autism, unrecovered, have done it. Whether or not OUR kids can do it, well, that's the frightening uncertainties all parents face about their children, no matter what their strengths or weaknesses. We never do get to know anything in advance, really. We just have more reason to be fightened.
Sigh.
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Thank you, Sara... I was feeling very vulnerable and anxious today, and not in the most optimistic frame of mind, and you just made me feel much, much better.
:-)
Jennifer
Pam,
Nathan has been really worked up lately too. The whole holiday season and all!!! I just put some presents under the tree yesterday, and that didn't help!!! He's been real stimmy and extra excited. Luckily, he's doing ok in school...so far...and he hasn't been throwing too many tantrums (although, the tantrums have increased some!)
Tyler had a Christmas play on Tuesday. Nathan and I went, dh had to work but saw the afternoon showing! All the parents came at the night showing and that really worked Nathan up. He was able to settle down for the performance, but it seemed difficult for him. He had a hard time sitting still!
Christmas can't come soon enough around here. I can't keep the boys away from the presents. But it's nice to see them enjoying the holiday....especially Nathan. When Nathan was younger, he was pretty oblivious to it all. I kinda enjoy the stimmyiness!! LOL
michelle
Thanks to all of you!
Hi Pam,
When I read, "Owen has taken hand-licking to a new level" I had to laugh...in total sympathy. David (8)chews his shirts. Every shirt he owns has little tiny holes in the right side of the chest area. He gets the shirt all wet in his mouth, and sucks on it, "slurp, slurp." But I have to say, if he was licking his hand I think that would bother me more.
When he was 3-4, before he was diagnosed, he was obsessed with touching the hairs on my arms and my eyebrows. I used to lie down with him at night to help him settle (still do, many nights), and he would grab onto my arm and twist it into whatever position was comfortable for him to rub my arm. I had no idea about AS, and I used to get so mad at him. "Stop twisting my arm!!" "Get your finger out of my eye!!" It made no difference. He was determined to rub my arm and/or eyebrows no matter what. It was like, "I don't mind having my arm touched...but MY ARM DOES NOT BEND THAT WAY!"
David also did a school play. He had to where a paper hat that was too big, so he spent the whole time with his head at a funny angle so it wouldn't fall off. I was proud of him, though, for actually allowing the thing to be on his head. That was enough. :)
Ah, never a dull moment.
Evelyn