~this must be my crash
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~this must be my crash
| Thu, 07-20-2006 - 9:37pm |
I've been completely out of sorts for about a week to ten days.
I haven't been posting (just lurking, I WANT to post...am I too lazy?


Debbie,
Sorry you are feeling so yucky. I can relate to alot of what you said and I am sure many others here could as well. It comes and it goes. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming and we are not superwomen as much as we like to try to be. Sometimes it just all piles up and we can't take it anymore. I had a day like that yesterday but I am getting to a better place where I know when to ask for help and can more easily get past it usually in a day or so (or less) rather than a week or more.
Yesterday, when DH came home he could tell it had been one of those days and he was extra helpful. I haven't seen my therapist in a couple months because of the end of the school year then she had a baby so things were piling up with no one to talk to. Add onto that 24/7 with the boy and all the kids with no breaks and lots of extra behavior.
I sure it is similar for you. It isn't one thing it is the overwhelmingness of all those things. Find someone to talk to like a therapist (we here are good too but it is hard on BB's because it can feel when you need to talk like the conversation is one sided. Or IM some of us you have IM's for. Make a list of what is most important to you to accomplish and start with baby steps tackling one thing at a time. Decide which things are not really as important right now and be ok with those not happening.
Take time to have fun with Isaac just for the sake of having fun. Something you enjoyed together before you started thinking autism. Maybe a movie, the park, swimming. Nothing therapy specific, just enjoying spending time with your number 1 guy. Sometimes we get so caught up in autism that we forget to just be mom and play with our kids just for the sake of we want to play with them.
You may want to try either omega 3's or evening primrose oil. great for that sort of thing. Evening Primrose Oil is great for PMS too.
Renee
Dear Debbie,
You will note my other Crisis post, me overwhelmed, yup. Of course when there is a crisis, it is easier to be forgiving of self, but the constant piles of overwhelm, fear and grief can be much more insidious and those piles just don't go away by themselves!!! I do let my housekeeping go easily, but I have girlfriends who will laugh and say that that is just part and parcil of my personalty, hate and avoidance of housework!!!
Renee has given you terrific advice. I just called my insurance to get list of counsellors for dh and me to BOTH go (and THIS our insurance will cover, at LAST they are paying for something, a$$holes...) I have given dh a deadline on starting therapy again and he has finally acquiesed.
Anyways, feel better! And yes, I bet all of us here can really, really relate to what you wrote. I certainly can. I also prefer the highs, and thank goodness there are many .. and the lows suck, big time. Right now I feel like just having a few months off, let somebody else raise ds!!! not that there is anyone else that could do that for a month, though.
((((((HUGS)))))
Sara
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I'm sorry your feeling so down. Its perfectly natural though. I'm going through a little down period myself. I know if I get off my butt and exercise I'll feel better but I feel so unmotivated. Anyway stop racking your brain and just take care of you for a while. P&PT's you're feeling better soon++++++
Samantha
(((((((((((((Debbie)))))))))))))),
I did the exact same thing when Peter was 3. I sought emergency therapy (of course, me being Extreme Girl, I became suicidal), and it helped a lot. I was stunned that it took weeks or longer for me to crash., I had thought I was coping SO WELL. I had sprung into action, done tons of research, arranged for schools and therapies for Peter and then
*BAM*
She (therapist) said that I had deferred my feelings about the Peter's disability
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
((Debbie)),
Yeah, I think we can all relate. I know I can. In my experience, those "down" times often seem to be related to lack of sleep and also not eating right...in addition to all the other things that pile up. It might sound silly, but sometimes something as simple as making the effort to remember to drink lots of water and stretch your body now and then makes a big difference. It doesn't make the problems go away, but it seems to help a little.
I've also had the unexplained "almost panic attacks". That's fun. Several months ago it was happening to me while driving. Lovely. I've learned that I if I feel that coming on, if I start singing, "Good Day Sunshine", it helps. I guess because singing makes you have to control your breath.
And just know, these things pass. Oh, looks like I've got to go. I'm needed. Again.
Take care!
Evelyn
((((HUGS))))
Sending you hugs, P&PTs to you......hang in there.
Christie
(((HUGS)))
The same thing happened to me when we got the dx for Sylvia. I remember posting here about how I was so relieved to have it over with, and to finally have the dx in hand, and wasn't it wonderful that now we can move forward, etc. etc. etc. And several people commented, "Wow, you're doing really well..." the implication being that if there came a time when I was *not* doing so well, that was OKAY and totally normal! And lo and behold, a while later, I did come crashing down! I think it happens to us all, unfortunately... and sometimes over and over again.
Everyone has given you terrific advice, and I have no more to add, except to say, I'm right there with ya, babe! I know what you're going through, and I'm here to talk whenever you need to...
Jennifer :)
Paula,
Good point. My therapist had said the same thing. She often sees parents go into Action Mom mode. Then when things settle in "BAM!".
I had lots of little ups and downs but fortunately because of having multiple kids and also working in the field and volunteering I was able to stay in "Action Mom" mode for a while and had my big crash last year when Dave went to kindergarten. She says she sees that often. We are so busy that when we finally have a little time for ourselves we crash.
There were lots of mini crashes before but I was able to fake it through or wait it out which wasn't healthy at all for me or the kids.
Renee
YOU CANT CRASH YET!