My child doesn't listen... anyone else??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
My child doesn't listen... anyone else??
13
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 12:58pm

I've posted a few times, but mostly just hang out. We had a tough day yesterday and I could use your insight. My 4 1/2 year old has not been diagnesed with anything yet, but we are going through the process now. He has a speech delay and we have always had trouble getting him to understand what he's being asked to do. Its almost like instructions go in one ear and out the other. We live on the Puget Sound and Grayson has become very interested in going down to the beach to play with our dog. He has been told repeatedly that he is not allowed to go to the beach without telling us first (and gets time-out, etc... if he disobeys). Yesterday we had a really bad day! First, he told my husband he was going next door to my in-laws house to play. Apparently he walked in the house said hi to Nana and then went down to the beach. About 30 minutes later my husband decided to check on him next door. Grayson wasn't there, dh found his underwear along side of the house and after several minutes of panic found my son on the beach covered in mud with only his t-shirt on. We were horrified and scared!!! I don't know why he was undressed and we checked to see that nothing horrible had happened to him... thankfully he was okay. After a quick shower, he was told that he was in big trouble and had to stay inside the house. Not 10-minutes later I was doing something in the bathroom, came out and my son was gone again. He went next door again without asking. I was furious. Do your kids have days when they just don't listen and other days when they seem to understand what & why things are the way they are? For the past couple of days he hasn't cared if he got in trouble or not. Usually he gets very upset so I'd noticed a change in his attitude. Its almost like he doesn't care or understand that there are consequences to his actions. He just can't be trusted right now. I am so frightened for his safety.

Help!!!

Layna

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 10:35pm

we lay on the praises thick around here, too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 12:32pm

You are all fantastic. Just the boost I needed to re-energize my fight to be the best mom I can be for Grayson. I really like the safety ideas you mentioned. Just having those little alarms on the doors would help a lot... and he tends to respond to non-verbal cues (like the timer) so maybe a bell would also spark something in him as well.

I had a long talk with my husband last night. He is finally seeing the mild autistic type mannerisms I've been seeing for quite some time now. We have autistic nephews who are 10, so we are probably more aware of the mannerisms and behaviours that are associated with it. My husband is a chiropractor and is well versed in nutritional therapies. We'll be changing Grayson's diet to hopefully help the little guy feel and function better.

Thanks again. You are a fantastic group of ladies.

Layna

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 12:53pm

Dear Layne,

Another idea is to use a social story about Grayson and the beach. This doesn't replace needing to constantly have him monitored, bells, locks, someone's eyes on him, etc. He isn't old enough or able to focus enough yet to control his own impulses, but he can be taught. Just not the way you might teach another child. Visuals and reinforcement are so key with our kids in learning.

The story could be drawn or taken from clip-art or magazines. You make Grayson a Beach Book. Show Grayson thinking about the fun at the beach, then going to get a grownup every time. Show Grayson knowing that he must never go to the beach alone, so he will always be safe. Nothing scary, just clear and simple. Have pictures of Grayson walking to the beach always holding the hand of a grownup. Talk and show about how fun the beach and sand is, how soothing the water is, how slowly he will learn to swim and the grownup he goes with every time will help him learn. The focus is on how beaches are wonderful and there for Grayson WITH a grownup.

Read the book with him often. Read it and then take him to the beach. It's always so fun to our kids that they are in a story anyways...

Sara

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