My kids never want to go out

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
My kids never want to go out
2
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:01pm

Does anyone else have kids that never want to go outside? Some guy in our townhouse complex has let his two labrador retrievers get loose a couple of times, and David, who is afraid of dogs, refuses to go to anyplace where he has encountered them: the little playground nearby and the grassy common area out front. Nathan won't go out front if David won't, and even if he does, David doesn't like to be in the house alone, even if he can our voices out front.

David also doesn't like going to bigger playgrounds very much because there are always groups of unsupervised kids there. People seem to think that once a kid is four, they can fend for themselves. There typically are grown-ups in the general area, but it's like they are going out of their way to ignore the kids. A few weekends ago we went to a brand new playground with DH, and there was an autistic girl there. She was about eight, I think, and there was no grown-up anywhere who appeared to be with her. She bumped her head and began some serious hand-flapping, and people kind of moved away. But no parent came.

But I digress. I most meant to be talking about how my kids never want to go out. Oh, and they don't want friends over. David has one best friend who he's known all his life, and that kid's little sister is Nathan's best friend (not surprisingly, the mom is my best friend.) But the boy tried to to pretend to kill David's stuffed otter, which bothered David so much, he doesn't want his friend over anymore. At least, he's not enthusiastic about it.

Just wondering, how much should I force my kids to do these things if they don't want to? They both could use a bit of variety in their lives, I think. (They play Lego all day, which is cool, but it's ALL they do.) I know they both need help with social skills, but my taking them to a park full of unsupervised kids isn't going to help. We have the one set of friends, and really no one else. He'll be back in school next week, where recess is "supervised" by a few parent volunteers who spend the entire time talking with each other.

I suppose this post is all over the map, LOL! I hope it makes some sense.

Evelyn

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 9:46am

We have gone through that with Mike too in the past. One big thing was a fear of bugs he went through for a few years. He wouldn't go outside at all. Then he also hated crowds so that took care of most other options.

Mike actually went to a cognitive psychologist to work on his bug phobia. He taught Mike some relaxation and some other techniques. That helped alot.

Other than that I can only think of starting small with activities you know will be successful. Do they like ice cream or movies? Perhaps a trip out just for an ice cream. Then next time 30 minutes at the park followed by an ice cream.

My other tip is try going at times when places aren't crowded. For instance the McDonald's playland, but go during breakfast time upto around 10ish when it is more likely to be empty. They also have those little freebie ice creams to entice the kids with. Or perhaps try the park during most peoples supper time.

Swimming is a great one for my kids. Even when nothing else worked, Mike would go swimming. They love the water and it is a great sensory activity.

Renee

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Registered: 02-24-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 11:49am

Evelyn,

Nathan is the same way. He doesn't like going outside or even to the stores, unless it's to get "him" something! LOL He will go to the movies, out to eat, family type situations are fine with him. Sometimes he will say that he doesn't want to go, but he doesn't throw a fit or anything, but it can be challenging to convince him to go!

Nathan is also afraid of some bugs (especially ones that fly), and he's afraid of cats and dogs too. With the weather being so warm, we see lots of animals and bugs!!! And both of my boys like to do different things outside....they can never agree on what to do....so they just stay inside! LOL

I find it difficult having him around other kids. Alot of children are unsupervised, and mean too! Parents don't always understand either. I find myself "guarding" my child, because people will touch him, talk too fast, and literally make things difficult for him!!

I don't worry too much about him having playdates and such, he gets social interaction with us and at school. He does prefer to be alone, so if that's ok with him....then I'm ok with it too. I would love for him to have a couple of friends. Picking him up from school and watching other kids with their group of friends....it's difficult watching him standing there alone.

Michelle