My mom's rude awakening

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
My mom's rude awakening
7
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 8:33pm

Alexander (AS) had a play therapy session today and afterwards I called my mom to talk to her about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 9:18pm

Melissa,


I'm sorry she was disappointed, but Hey! Your mom is accepting of Ava's issues and uses phrases like "on the Spectrum" so she sounds like she is ahead of the curve on this one.


-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 11:24pm

Melissa
It's hard sometimes with the acceptance. It's a healing/greiving process and some (grandparents) have this thing with sometimes "hoping" it's not the autism.
I hope that makes sense.
I have an aunt who's 78 and doesn't "get it" with some of my ds's autism like issues.
I just sigh to myself and try to explain. I feel my aunt is still not "over" the actual dx.

Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 9:00am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 11:47am

I understand your feelings completely. I now have the joys of explaining to my MIL that my oldest is also on the spectrum. My in-laws understand that my youngest is on the spectrum as he shows many more signs. My oldest, well, they just think he's a brat, but otherwise a regular kid.

I don't really go into the issues with the older relatives. My husband's grandmother told my mother in law that she was dissappointed that the boys never went for their first Holy Communion. Well, church won't allow them as they can't see the difference between it being the body of Christ, they see it as a food item. Hubby's grandmother doesn't quite understand that.

As someone else said, yes, there's a grieving process for the relatives as well as the parents. Hopefully your Mom can come through this process quickly and be supportive for your son's issues as she is for your daughter's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 2:55pm

Thanks everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 6:58pm

I am sure that must have been such a blow to your mom. Poor thing. Sometimes it hits grandparents even harder than parents.

She sounds so wonderfully supportive. It took my inlaws and my mom a long time to really get it and sometimes they still don't really grasp it. they have had many such rude awakenings and it is hard on them each time. I find I really have to word what I say carefully as it is hard for them, particularly with new info. For instance, when through a similar conversation they found out that Cait had an aide in school or when we told them Mike was going to a special needs school. It kind of makes it more real I guess. Your mom likely has the background knowledge from being a teacher so it was easier for her to grasp.

She sounds really neat. Give her a hug from me. Warning, when you go places where she is going to see them with other kids and see the differences between them and other kids....that one is REALLY hard on grandparents for some reason but where ours got most of their rude awakenings.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 12:04pm
We are just starting on the journey to an AS diagnosis, but I am already preparing myself for my in-laws who will totally reject the diagnosis, and probably blame me for pursuing it.
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