My poor little guy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
My poor little guy!
5
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 10:42pm

I went to pick David up from school today, as usual. We always get there about 15 to 20 minutes before school gets out, because there is very little parking (no school buses), and just as the bell was about to ring, the principal walked by. She stopped and told me that David was in the office. He had wet his pants, and the office lady had apparently tried to call me to tell me to bring a change of pants, but I had already left the house. So, my poor little guy was sat in the office with wet pants for quite a while. We were allowed to leave before the kids all got out, so he wouldn't get made fun of, but he didn't seem concerned about that.

I didn't want to make a big deal about it, since as far as I'm concerned it's not a big deal. But I was curious, so I asked him if he was worried about using the big-kid toilets, since the 1-3 toilets were under construction. He said, "No. But I forgot the signal for 'I have to use the bathroom'." Apparently they have some special signal in the classroom to ask to go to the bathroom, and David held it and held it...and ultimately peed his pants because he didn't know how to say he needed to use the toilet. My poor little guy! It's stuff like this that makes me wish I could be a fly on the wall in the classroom and have some idea what he's going through. And now that he's in the 2nd grade, I don't even get to see the teacher at the end of the day.

Oh, well. He's fine. I don't know if anyone saw that he peed his pants, but he didn't appear overly traumatized. (I would have DIED if it were me.) I just hope no one gives him a hard time. Last year, there was a boy on the playground who David didn't like. Turns out the kid was HFA and didn't always behave appropriately...and the poor kid soiled his pants one day. David kept telling me, "so and so POOED in his pants." We had a talk about how he'd feel if it were him. Well, okay, I talked and he tuned me out. LOL!

Isn't life fun?

Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 11:57pm

yeah, btdt. With accidents that is. Mike it was a frequent occurance which would have killed me but luckily he didn't really care and finally grew out of it probably mid to late 2nd grade. I don't remember it happening last year. Usually it was little wet spots but sometimes it was enough that he had to go change. He often didn't feel the urge (sensory) or was obsessing on the dirtyness of the bathrooms and held it too long. He seems none the worse for wear now.

BTW, as for occasional accidents, I have seen lots of classmates of my kids have the occasional problem too. It isn't that uncommon. In fact the nurses office at both schools my kids have gone to have a ready supply of donated clothes for just such occasions. That and rips and bleeding, but mostly they get used for little ones accidents because they waited to long or were afraid to ask.

Hope he feels better.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 9:42am

Evelyn,

He forgot the signal, huh? It is these tiny little things which can have huge knock-on efects. I'm glad David wasn't too upset by it, I guess it could have been a lot worse!

((Hugs)) to you both.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 12:10pm

Evelyn,

Poor David! I'm glad he wasn't overly tramatized by everything....that's nice. I don't have that problem with Nathan. He HOLDS IT IN FOREVER!!! I don't know how he does this either. We had the "using the bathroom at school" talk already. The first day, Nathan didn't go AT ALL!!! I'm checking with him everyday now. It's so hard having to worry about them constantly. I wish I could be a fly on the wall too!!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 2:29pm

a signal to use the bathroom... what's wrong with raising your hand, and saying "I have to got to the bathroom, please".... I would have a talk with his teacher.

our school has large closet(in the primary area)Every class as a container,and parents send a complete change of clothes for their child(in a zip-lock bag)
This is wonderfull, because its not just bathroom accidents,that require dry clothes.
kids and water/snow... recess, lunch... sometimes the kids come back in total soaked.
and its nice to know that your child isn't sitting in wet socks/pants all day, the primary area also has a folding clothes line, to hanging socks, mitts,ect..oh the joys of winter, love the snow, but its the slush I hate...

once when I picked ds up, he had used his extra pants...went sliding and "forgot" to put his snow pants on...

this might sound like a hassle for the teachers,but its less time comsuming that having to phone home, have the child sitting in the office,waiting to a parent to bring in dry clothes...

I can't believe school is starting next week... time sure flys by fast....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 2:56pm

Oh, none of the the around here use raising hands and requesting the bathroom. Almost all classes the child raises up the signlanguage gesture for Toilet which is making the ASL letter "t" and shaking it a bit. Same with a different sign for water if they need a drink. The teachers find it causes to much disruption for the little ones if they are constantly calling on students who instead of participating in discussion are requesting the bathroom or a drink. This way instead of disrupting the class they can just discretely release one child at a time from the room.

It works well for NT kids because even if they forget they will realize that they can still ask the old fashioned way or ask the teacher again what the sign is until they have it mastered. But see our little Aspies are so darn concrete and have a hard time with problem solving that if they forget the sign they won't ask for help and will just hold it.

I think that is more the bigger issue is why our kids may not have done those things. Problem solving and asking for help are just some of those skills that really need to have it taught to Aspies and auties that doesn't come naturally. It is often a surprise when these little things happen because there are little issues each day they struggle with that it wouldn't even dawn on us is a problem until something happens.

Renee

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