My true thoughts on this holiday--vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
My true thoughts on this holiday--vent
2
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 2:28pm

I so dislike this holiday…

Where to start? Let’s start with the past. As I was growing up my mother over saw all that we ate. That meant no sugar and no meat and no choice. I could trick or treat but the candy went in the garbage the next day, Easter baskets that had no jelly beans in them and meal called Loaf. Still to this day I make horrid food choices and if I was starving I would choose the candy over something nourishing in a heartbeat. So imagine my utter shock that she thinks the no dairy thing for aspie son(6) is ridiculous! He’s not allergic so why not let him have some mashed potatoes or green bean casserole or pumpkin pie-it’s just a little dairy… Of course she doesn't offer to come over the next couple of days to deal with the effects. Then there is MIL who just ignores and sneaks it to him. Heaven forbid I offer to bring something that would be different or non traditional food…

Then the no dairy thing leads into the therapy discussion. We all know that if therapy was truly needed insurance would cover it, Right? So since our insurance doesn't cover it, the therpists are just trying to get our money. Isn’t my mother enlightened oh and MIL too.

Now DS loves these holidays . He enjoys everyone being together and the food. He’s comfortable and usually takes it all in well. I am vigilant which of course is overprotective. Oops, so I should let Uncle M. tickle him tickle him until he screams with pain or be subjected to friendly teasing until he hauls off and hits someone? That’s why I am vigilant because you people don’t see his warning signs.

My dad is great with him. He doesn’t get him but he tries to and he plays with him and just loves him. Plus dad realizes DH and I are doing what we can and there is a reason for our parenting choices. FIL ignores us but he ignores his own daughter too which I do take some comfort in

We can’t forget to add in the oddness of our home schooling choices. FIL brings up he pressure kids today are under and suggests that if I didn't teach him so much he wouldn’t; be so far ahead of age mates. Dumb azz. The kid is a genius-literally. I didn’t choose that it just is. MIL thinks home schooling is bad. My mom quizzes him relentlessly and then seems genuinely upset when he gets something wrong but doesn’t praise enough for all that he answers correctly. Then there is great grandma. She adores son. In front of him she is all smiles and hugs and attention. She treats and calls me a martyr I look horrible (thanks today I actually made an effort). I do too much. Maybe we should stop all those outside activities and put him in public school so I could nap. Maybe we could use some of our money to buy myself some new shoes or get a manicure. . Umm all of our money goes to therapy. I am not a martyr I am a mom doing what is needed for my kid. This is my life.

So where is DH? Hiding and fixing in-laws computer, out of the lines of battle. Just once I wish he would tell everyone to shut up and accept us or stop seeking us out. He doesn’t like conflict and I am so good at handling it..

The idea of the day itself, that I should like right?. Well why not be thankful very day for what we have? We get one day to be thankful and the next day we go out at 5am to shop and buy more and get more and have more. With all this being said I am off to the in-laws. And feeling very much like I’m the turkey for going. Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 7:45pm

Heather,


I am so with you on this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 9:43pm

Heather, it doesn't sound like you and Evelyn hate the holiday as much as getting together with your family!


I've been avoiding mine for years...ok, well, mostly they avoid me, but it's ok.....it's much quieter.

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