Nathan had his "assessment"
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 05-06-2006 - 3:19am |
I don't know if anyone remembers, but I've been a bit concerned about Nathan, my "NT" 4 1/2 year old. We had him evaluated by the developmental ped who works with David, and she things he's got SID.
His main issues have to do with being in groups of people and certain types of noises. He had a miserable time in preschool, and I think it was partly because of those two things. However, since we don't fit into the categories of "poverty stricken" or "stinking rich", our only preschool option was our cruddy Parks and Recs preschool where their motto is, "Never Let the Children See You Smile."
We had a school district eval, and of course he showed no signs of distress at all with the nice ladies who worked with him. They said that not only doesn't he not have "fine motor delays" as the ped suggested, but that his fine motor skills are excellent. The OT also listed off a few other typical SID characteristics that he "doesn't have". He seemed "a bit shy at first", but that was all. He even read them a book; something I didn't know he could do. I said they would really have to see him in an environment with people...so they had us come to the "Child Development Center" which is the school district's preschool for kids with disabilities. I sat and waited for an hour, and then they came out and told me he did beautifully. He seemed happy enough, but when we got outside, he told me he hated it.
Oh, and they had me fill out an Asperger's questionnaire. I'm sure he doesn't have AS; but they firmly believe that a child cannot have sensory issues without having autism. Everyone seems puzzled by his sensitivity to sounds.
They'll be calling me next week. I'm real nervous about it, because if they think nothing is wrong, then what's going to happen when he walks into kindergarten with 19 five-year-olds who have been in preschool since they were six months old? Nathan's real intelligent and ready for school academically, but so scared around other kids. Also, he's in the 9th percentile in height, and just seems so out of place among the kids who will be his classmates.
On a good note, he has made friends with a neighbor. The kid is only 3, though, but they have fun. Still, social issues are a problem. Today his friend, my friend's 4 yo daughter, came over briefly and we went to our neighborhood playground. When we got there, Nathan saw that another little boy was there. Nathan became really depressed. He sat on a little bouncy horse thing in the corner, and wouldn't play. He seemed so sad, like he WANTED to play, but couldn't because this unknown person was there. That might seem like something an AS kid would do, having trouble with social situations, but I just don't buy it. To me it seems more like social anxiety.
I hope they are gentle and understanding with him when he gets to school. I can't help but feel like I'm about to have him fed to the lions in the fall.
Evelyn

Evelyn,
First, big hugs. The same thing happened to us with Mike's first OT assessment. I don't know if it is because the kids can hold it together for 30-60 minutes or because they are doing sensory things which thier bodies crave but when Mike was 3 we were told there were no fine motor or sensory issues. Since then Mike is consistently diagnosed or referred to as having moderate to severe sensory issues. Did they do a sensory profile? That is why they are so important, you can't get a view of a childs sensory system in a half hour when they are doing theraputic things.
Next, and this is a tough one I know. I am not saying Nathan is AS or on the spectrum at all. What I am doing is telling you to that I was in your place a few years back and saying the same things. There was NO WAY Mike was on the spectrum in my mind.
When Mike was little he had some great skills and was nothing like his sister. We insisted adamently he COULD NOT be on teh spectrum. Mike was an outgoing little guy. When we went to the park when he was 3-4, he would walk up to all the kids and say "Hi I'm Mike, wanna play". At that age Cait had no interest in peers and we couldn't even understand what she was saying most of the time.
Every symptom Mike had, had an excuse. It was SID, it was Auditory processing, ok maybe a bit of anxiety, well maybe a little OCD or ADHD, and if all else failed we pulled out the "He has a bad role model because of a PDD older sibling" card. But he was socially outgoing and he was sweet, and kind, and thoughtful. He COULDN"T be autistic no matter how many times people mentioned the possibility.
When he was 7 and we finally took him back to the neuro I was sure she would diagnose him with maybe NLD because he wasn't autistic. I down played all his difficulties and highlighted all his strengths and she still dx'ed him AS. I was shocked. She was able to explain to me the difference between his social strenghts and that on NT's. How he was showing symtptoms of not understanding social cues way back in his first evaluations. At that time he didn't have social failures yet and so still was sure of himself (when he was 4-5 or 6)
Now Mike is withdrawn often. He can be outgoing when he is in a good place but often when he is outgoing it leads to more social failures or outbursts. He is still a sweet, thoughtful boy but he is way more withdrawn because of the failures.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't kick myself for not accepting earlier that he was on the spectrum and getting him help then so we wouldn't be trying to play catch up now and sometimes it feels futile.
So here is what I am saying. You may be totally right. He may not be on the spectrum at all, but you may want to have the evaluation done anyway and keep an open mind just in case. Whether he is diagnosed now or later if he is AS then he is and getting the label or not won't change that. It won't hurt to find out earlier and get him started on some help.
Renee
((((Evelyn))))
I don't know what to say except that I hope Nathan does well when he goes to school. He does have some red flags that make me think a more indepth eval would be a good thing. We (and Weston's preschool teacher and doctor) had lots and lots of excuses for all the things that weren't quite right or that were red flags until he went to school. I wish we would have gotten him some help long before we did. He's doing great now, but I wish he could have been "doing great" when he started school.
Betsy
Thanks for your input, Betsy and Renee. The developmental pediatrian, who did the standard four hour-long appointments, said she didn't think he has AS. She's the one who diagnosed David. She could be wrong, and I'm trying to keep an open mind. When we talked to her about David, a couple years ago, we had a whole lot of odd (and downright bizarre) things to tell her about. In Nathan's case, it was mostly that he was dreadfully unhappy and afraid of new situations, people, and certain sounds.
During the assessment, the school psychologist had me answer a questionnaire, while the OT and speech person worked with Nathan. It was one of these, "often, sometimes, rarely" questionnaires, and it was really hard. I kept saying, "Well, he DOES do that, but not in a scary, disturbing way like his brother did, but more in an age-appropriate way." Later on, they had me fill out an Asperger's questionnaire, and that was hard, too. I know from experience that AS is not one-size fits all, and a child is much more complicated that two pages of multiple choice questions. The psychologist is a young woman who, for some reason, really made me feel pressured, although it may just be me being nervous about communicating effectively. I took a long time to answer each question, and she would just look at me, like, "Well?" I kept feeling like she was thinking, "Man, this woman is dim-witted." LOL!
Bottom line is, I just want to do what's best for him, to help him be happy and have a good school experience.
Evelyn
Your right Evelyn, that is totally the bottom line and you have a good approach.
Some kids are just really hard to place young. Are they typical, are they not? What are they and how do we help? It is scary.
Dave was/is alot like that too. Fortunately for him it worked out the opposite way. We did go and push for an IEP for a behavior support plan and such. I was lucky in that he has articulation troubles that qualified him for an IEP at first. Then when the artic problems resolved we went for an ADHD dx to gain services. He fit the criteria for ADHD so it wasn't a lie, but I don't think ADHD was the main culprit it was SID. However, the school didn't recognize his SID saying it didn't affect him in school.
We didn't get a whole lot of support with his IEP, but a little. Fortunately we did get an excellent K teacher and Dave is very very bright and loves to learn. So having the full day structure of school and the perfect teacher has been just the thing. He is still different, he is still very much Dave, but for now he is functioning well and happy and in no need of a diagnosis other than I know he is SID, spirited and competitive as all get out.
Renee
Evelyn,
I was worried about Nathan too..when he entered preschool. But I had a good relationship with his teacher already (she was Tyler's teacher too), so she kept me informed of how he was doing. So, I know how you feel. The school district wasn't able to tell from their evaluation...whether or not Nathan was autistic or not. Luckily, he did qualify for the speech therapy...til we got his dx from the dr. Anyway, I hope things work out for Nathan (your nathan!). Keep us updated!
michelle
what a great way to look at it, just wanting to help him be happy and have a good school experience.
Like Renee, we have a child that just doesn't quite fit any of the dx. However, my Warren (14) is struggling in school. He just sort of slips through the cracks of everything. We finally got him an IEP last year at this time. He has an ADD Dx but it's really something more. He doesn't communicate at all w/ teachers (they see it as a respect issue or lying or not attending, but it's really more than that). Mostly they say he's lazy, inattentive, etc. He's a very happy kid when he is not at school and is allowed to do things that interest him. And in all other situations, except when he's dealing w/a school project, he's a really good kid. For him, we're just doing what we can to get him through school and into college where he doesn't have to take very many courses he doesn't like. and hopefully, he'll mature enough or by some miracle find a way to organize and to get thru.
I hope by doing the evals and getting him some help you will both have a better experience than we have had.
Betsy
Worst day of my life, we have been getting him aggressive intervention and he is turning 3 in July so he will be enrolled into a preschool setting with TSS assistance outside of shchool 15 hrs per week. I know the feeling about feed the child to the wolves and all you can do is keep asking questions to who is facitltating his help/schooling. Have faith, and if you want to talk, I am here.
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s225/irishwildrose/pp2.jpg