Nedw here and need help!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2010
Nedw here and need help!!!!!
14
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 8:24pm
Hello! Im very new to this site and Im hoping for some help. background information..... I have a 13 year old with severe autism. He is functioning at a one year old level. Its very hard for me to care for him because he has a behavior problem. He will scream as loud as he can for more than part of the day. He will throw things and its just really hard. The constant screaming is the most horrible. there is NOTHING that will make him stop. I cannot get him to go in his room for a time out of any kind because he is too heavy for me to carry so discipline is pretty much out the window. I have nobody that i can talk to about it. My family just doesnt get it. the only person who did was my mother and she passed away recently. im losing my mind and just crying for most of the day........... Im just lost and hoping someone can help?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2010
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 3:37pm
Thanks for all the support and the links. I will be a busy mama today looking up all of those.. thanks again:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 10:53pm

Thanks, Debbie, for getting me on here for the sake of this lovely fam!

Feel free to contact me at your convenience, however it works best for you. There are options, but given your son's age, that limits us a bit. (All the good stuff is for kids age 8 and younger in WI. The post-intensive autism waiver is generally ltd to those kids who've been on the intensive waiver for 12 consecutive months or more.) But it's certainly not hopeless! I can give you all sorts of good info for support groups and what not.

And this site http://z7.invisionfree.com/ASDSEWI/index.php is like the local version of this iVillage page. There's also the ASSEW, which is super great.

Take heart (and a glass of wine ... and some favorite chocolate) -- we'll get you through!

~ Chelsea
~ Chelsea
Avatar for insideout418
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 10:25pm

Welcome.....


By the way, I am a little jealous of your location, since one of the people who was instrumental in guiding me through the first few months of getting my son diagnosed lives there. ;)


Her name is Chelsea,and she owns and operates www.goodfriendinc.com.

Follow me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 9:38pm
Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 10:59am

I"m not in Wisconsin - but close, Chicago area.

Milwaukee should have some services available to you. I agree with PP, start making phone calls or have someone help you make those phone calls. Also, get in touch with your local ASA - they are a great source for referrals. I think once you start to get some things in place, you'll feel better. Autism, a recent loss, and a move is a lot on your plate. Try to take care of yourself as much as possible.

Let us know how it goes.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 10:31am

(((HUGS)))


I totally agree with the others.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 1:48am

Extra kids with issues is something I can definitely relate too. My one ASD son is the most significant but he is definitely high functioning, however he can have significant beahvior issues. I have 4 kids total and oen of the others is aspergers, epilepsy and learning disabled while the youngest has ADHD and other similar symptoms. Even my typical child has some mild learning issues, likely ADHD and digestive issues. Just figured out my oldest likely has gluten intollerance.

It is a right pain keeping it all straight. Even if the other issues aren't as "severe" as your one son it is still a major stress on a mom trying to do what is right for all her kids.

(((((BIG HUGS))))))

Renee

And definitely look into respite and wrap around services for your area. Ask the school if they know who to contact. They likely can give you some numbers or at least point you in the right direction.

If you don't have a teacher or casemanager at school yet due to your recent move then call the special ed department for the district and talk to someone higher up (not a secretary). Perhaps the director of special ed or a program specialist or whatever they have there.

Photobucket
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2010
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 5:46pm

Thank you everyone! Your timely responses are greatly appreciated. I live in Milwaukee,Wisconsin. We just moved here so not sure of any of the programs here yet. I wouldnt even know where to start looking. I know I need a break but its hard. I have 2 other children ages 16 and 10 with problems as well. Not as severe of course but still problems. Im talking on the lines of adhd,odd,bipolar..


Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: christiansmama74
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 11:04am

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 10:35am

Oh Sweetie!

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I agree with Renee that there are probably some services available where you are that can give you some kind of break, because you really need it. No-one, not even Superman can do this alone, and you are grieving on top of everything else. School is probably out, or I would suggesting talking to the director of Special ed or the school psychologist. Instead, try going through your town. Some towns have amazing services, like camp or respite care for special needs kids.

Another place to call is local community centers, large hospitals or universities, and local chapter of charities such as the ASA, Autism Speaks, or the Easter Seals. If none of those places have services themselves, they will almost definitely have ideas and advice on where to find them locally.

As for the screaming: My son used to do this when he was little, so I really feel for you. It is horrible. I eventually learned that he *couldn't* calm himself down even if he wanted to and he needed help; -needed to be 'cued' to calm down, if you know what I mean. So I started using calm-down words, in a very low hypnotic voice: "All done", all over" again and again as I rubbed his back firmly, which was soothing for him. This may not work for you, but it definitely helped us over time. In the beginning, it took quite a while to calm him down, but eventually as he learned the cues and learned to respond to it, he started to calm in less time. It got to the point where I could sometimes head him off before the screaming fit started.

The real "trick" to this method; and it is VERY hard at first, is to be calm and serene yourself. If your son is anything like mine, he can pick emotions out of the air like a TV picks up a signal. I sometimes had to take myself into the kitchen or bathroom and force myself into a calm state of mind, saying to myself over and over again "it's not him, it's the Autism" until I was able to feel calm enough myself to calm him down.

I hope some of this helps a little and please do feel free to come here and vent as much as you need to.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com




Edited 6/27/2010 10:42 am ET by specialmomx2
-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

Pages