Need advice on possible retention
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| Tue, 05-16-2006 - 11:43pm |
I wish I was only talking about the monthly water retention!!!
I have had several opinions on the idea of Sam (nearly 7, mainstream 1st grade, AS, ADHD, dyslexic) being retained in the first grade. His teacher initially said that she wanted to, then after speaking to the 1st grade Sped. Inclusion teacher decided his biggest issue was behavior and thought that retention wouldn't help with that. *Then* recently she changed her mind back after some classroom assessments and both his regular ed. teacher and SpEd teacher think that sending him to 2nd grade would be a bad idea. They think that the work load and expectations would be too much even in a SpEd inclusion class with an aide. If he is retained I would also fight to get him into the 1st grade Sp Ed inclusion. And even if he's still in this school after 2nd grade, they weren't sure about the 3rd grade options in his present school. Pretty sad, huh? His teacher doesn't think that the other teachers in his school are a good match........what do I do with that?!?!
The Psych who did the neuro-psych eval doesn't believe that review of work will help and thinks that with a summer reading program he could catch up (he's currently reading at a late Kindy level.) The advocate working with us wonders why we are considering retention if he has lots of friends but is having social skill issues. The same base of friends could help.
I'm with his teachers that the stress of 2nd grade even with accomadations, pull-outs, individualized assignments would send him off the deep end. I think his social skills would suffer more under such great stress, but am concerned about him having to meet a whole new group of kids. He's very extroverted so doesn't really have trouble talking to new people (it's usually the other way around with him; he doesn't know when not to talk!) So I'm confident that he'd make new friends, but it certainly would make the beginning of he year easier if he already knew a few kids.
The SpEd supervisor I spoke to seems to think it's a bad idea, though she doesn't know anything about Sam. I was trying to find out which school in our district has the smallest 1st grade inclusion classroom; of course she doesn't know that yet. I wish I had someone to watch the baby so I could go observe classrooms. Ugh. I feel so alone trying to get all this done by myself.
I'm pretty ticked at our SD right now and totally stressed about the meeting we have this week. I also don't think we will get them to pay for a summer program without a fight and that wouldn't be settled until summer's over anyway. I have no idea where'd we get the money for the tutor ($120 per week) and then the social skill program we want to try out for the summer. I can't really work unless I never want to see my DH, of course. I could work at nights and weekends. I did that for awhile just before I became PG with DS#2 and it wasn't the greatest thing in the world. The thought of having the kids all day to myself and then going to work makes me retch but I guess if I had to.....
I'm about ready to just move to FL where my parents live even though, I hated living in FL!
Chrystee


((((((Chrystee))))))))
I have only two pieces of advice:
1. Follow your gut: Take time to imagine -really *imagine* Sam in 1st and then in 2nd. And then in any other option you might have available: Which thought makes uou ill? Go with the other.
2. No sudden moves: You may have the meeting next week, but you don't have to agree to anything next week. You can refuse to accept their proposals, and refuse to sign an IEP.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Chrystee
I'm sorry. The school/IEP stuff is so so stressfull. I'd watch the baby for you in a heartbeat. I don't think you live in IA though, do you?
Obviously they are not meeting Sam's needs or this wouldn't even be an issue. I know what its like to deal with an impossible school though. We were in a simialar situation when Kyle was in 1st. The difference was the teacher didn't bother to tell me. She just wrote on the last report card she didn't think there was any way ds would make it through 2nd grade and then promoted him anyway. 2nd grade was rough but better than 1st. 2nd grade teacher said the same thing about 3rd grade and promoted him anyway. 3rd grade was a new school. I finally figured out how to demand they meet all of his needs and ds started to flourish. Hang in there. Go with your gut. Keep fighting. Know no matter what happens Sam will be OK because he has you on his side.
HUGS,
Samantha
Retention does not help children just for the sake to help them catch up academically if there are learning issues at hand. If the same material is presented in nearly the same way a second year studies show that your child will not benefit. The specific reasons that the child is behind need to be addressed for any benefit to take place. For instance, finding a curriculum and accomodations that work for a dyslexic and teaching skills that can help the dyslexic child focus.
I would recommend a summer program. I highly recommend Davis Dylexia Correction program.
You can get the books the gift of Dyslexia and Gift of Learning. They changed my son's life!
Before agreeing to retention make the school tell you what they are going to do differently that your son would benefit from a second time around in 1st grade.
Jennifer
Grant 10 Dyslexia, dysgraphia
Riley 8
Emma 7
William SID, DD, Probably pdd-nos
Joely 2
The reason for the retention is more of a maturity issue and management of his stress level. We all think that he won't be able to handle the increased demands placed on him. Even if everyone knows that he has special needs and gets accomadations they'll probably expect 2nd grade behavior and he's more at a Kindy level in a lot of ways.
He would be going to a different teacher who obviously has a different style and we will be fighting to get him into the Orton-Gillingham program the neuropsych recommeds. She labelled him as "reading disabled" I wrote dyslexic because it's easier to type and when I questioned her on the difference, she said something like, "well he can't read, so yes, he's dyslexic. but people don't really use that term any more."
Unless I get him a Behavior Intervention Plan, a small classroom with an aide, help at lunch and recess, additional social skills goals and interventions and more specific help in reading and math (I just noticed that his Neuro-psych report has a dx of math disabled as well) then the best thing I can do right now is keep him back or homeschool.
Chrystee
I would probably go with more of a behavior support plan than retaining him. I agree that typically for kids with special needs, retention is not the answer. They need specialized supports. Unfortunately, our kids with ASD's don't just "mature". The stress will still be there. If that program they are suggesting isn't appropriate for him perhaps they need to find a different option. Or they need to be more flexible.
As far as expecting 2nd grade behavior. I am sure my son's teacher expected 2nd grade behavior as well but he was stressed and he spun things, and chewed his shoes, and growled, and didnt' pay attention, etc. However, later when given the proper supports he was able to do better.
With retention he may also be bored with the material which could bring out behaviors as well. Plus the stress over being with a completely different class of kids.
This is one of those times where they need a nice small quiet class set up specially for kids with HFA who cannot quite handle regular classrooms and all the demands, movement, transitions, etc but will challenge them academically. I am still hoping for one eventually in our district.
On the reading, have you had his vision tested and I don't mean eyesight as in clarity. But vision developmentally? Emily was at that point at the end of 1st (reading K level). Turns out her eyes weren't working together and the words were jumping all over the pages. Some exercises, vision therapy, and reading tutoring (dyslexia type stuff) and she is doing great now. It is still a small problem when she is tired and her spelling needs work but she is reading now at or above grade level.
Renee
I did have a developmental vision exam at the beginning of the year. The Dr. said that he would recommend vision therapy for Sam and we had a big discussion/debate about OT and gross/fine motor skills. He didn't like OT but alot of his suggestions sound like OT. He said he'd have him doing things like dribbling a soccer ball around cones...etc. I just didn't get the impression that this guy understood AS and how frustrating that would be for Sam. Plus, he seems to do fine with shooting hoops and kicking soccer balls into goals...etc. Dribbling around cones is more complicated and involves more steps which is another issue.
Sam was asked to feel a shaped groove in a piece of wood under a piece of paper and try to draw what he saw. He closed his eyes. He was dismayed that he couldn't touch and see at the same time. Most of his comments made sense to me when taking executive functioning deficits into account and didn't sound like purely vision problems. We decided against the therapy because it is hard to justify spending the money if we're not absolutely sure it would help. Our insurance doesn't cover it and it is pricey.
Honestly, with a behavior plan (which I intend to get regardless of whether he's retained or not) I'm nervous about him being in the school district at all. His current teacher just doesn't want to do anything differently. They'll have no choice no matter where he goes though. All the evals so far say that they need to step it up in the classroom.
As far as maturity goes, I realize that Sam is not going to just snap out of it. I don't mean it that way. But he is definatly not the same kid he was in PreK. There is more impulse control when he is angry. He's more aware of himself and other people's feelings when calm. He used to never be able to tell me what happened or imagine how someone else might feel about an event or words exchanged. I know that this can't be attributed to spontaneous maturity; it's learned behavior that we've been working on.
I was thinking an extra year for him to work on the impulse control and social skills in a less stressful academic setting could be helpful for him. This year has been rough on him. I'm really torn. I know that he can do well with a flexible teacher and extra supports. I guess I just have little faith that the school can do that for him. But now I have it in writing what they need to do. I just have to get them to do it! And I'll probably need to get a job to pay for the summer stuff....sigh. I hope I don't sound completely lazy! The prospect of loosing my 2 "days off" with DH around the house to a crappy retail job just isn't very appealing LOL!
Chrystee
Yeah, I agree that vision therapy and OT can overlap. In fact in OT there is a lot of visual perceptual work that we do.
I decided against VT for emily too as it is too expensive and I can do alot of it at home. If you have the evals and results there is no reason why you can't work on it with him at home too. Also, our doctors gave us lots of exercises we could do with them. This was an issue for Mike to and he did exercises for about 2 months and it helped alot. For him we put a 1 inch piece of newsprint on a pencil. Then we moved the pencil towards his nose and back and he had to focus on the writing. We would move it towards his nose until his eyes started to drift away then we would back off. We did it for a few minutes 2 times a day for 8 weeks and he really did get much better at that.
Some things that are great to work on too are mazes, word find puzzles, those hidden picture things, geoboards, and even these follow the path puzzles. I am sure in the VT assessment they should have done this thing where he had to keep his pencil on a paper and follow a path from one side to another and it crossed over things.
There is also bilateral movement things he could do. Alot of braingym activities are really great. Cross crawls are one of my favorites. I just explained that to someone recently about crossing the midline.
If he likes basketball rather than going around cones you could start with just dribbling then dribbling switching hands. You can make things like this alot of fun by setting up an obstacle course and doing it with him.
You may want to sign him up for martial arts too. Alot of those movements done over and over are similar in trying to get the body to learn those movements.
I have some work sheets too for directionality. They have letters in a row (a whole bunch) like bppddppbbppddddppbb and they have to read them or take a pencil and while keeping it on the paper they go over the lines and circle ONLY the b's or p's or which ever one. It makes them focus on how the letter is going and exercises the eyes as well. Also you can have arrows and have them tell you "left, left, right" which ever way it is pointing. A WHOLE bunch in a row close together. ->, ->, <-, -> etc.
Even just 10 minutes a day of doing these kinds of exercises will make tons of difference for him I bet. Emily loved the fact that she got a special snack after and time with mom. She would follow me around the house "Mom, is it time to do my eye stuff yet?"
Sorry if this was confusing. Hard to explain without being there in person and I am rushing because I have to get the kids soon. If any of it was confusing and you want to try it, let me know and I will try to explain better or find some links for what I am talking about.
Renee
Thanks Renee
Your posts are always so helpful. I'm printing this one out. It's hard to have one more thing to do, but it definately could help with the reading so it's worth it.
Chrystee
It is hard to fit in one more thing, but this can be an easy thing that you just mix in with what is already there. I found even just a few minutes a couple times a day was great. The hardest was teh morning, but in the afternoon I just added it in with homework. Even just the once a day will help. It wasn't a big deal cause I attached a big reinforcer to it.
If you add a fun activity here and there that you do together it goes fast. I am doing the same kind of thing with Dave a few times a week with handwriting. He loves it.
Mike is tougher. We have speech homework that I have to add it and he HATES it. I haven't been terribly consistent with it because I think it is boring and stupid. Once he gets it as part of his routine he will comply but his is the BORING homework about reading facial expressions and body postures, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I feel your pain on adding something
Renee