Need advice.....confused

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Registered: 02-24-2004
Need advice.....confused
8
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 6:56pm

Ok...Nathan's IEP is coming up and I'm a bit confused about something. I'm not sure if I should bring this up for discussion or not.

They just sent home his evaluation chart that tells us how well he's doing on his goals for reading. He has done very well and has improved in all areas.

But, the problem...is his work that he does in class. The papers that he brings home, are telling me that he gets confused and spaces off right in the middle of completing a paper. I can tell this, because I know Nathan and he does this at home. He had difficulty copying words (not like him AT ALL), and he answered some questions by trying to look at the picture being shown and not by the actual words. He was also given a paper that had sentences where you had to circle the compound word. He circled the last word in EVERY sentence....because the first 4 sentences were the last word.

He has been doing so well at school that they have pulled his aide away from him at times, to let him do his own work. Which seems ok.....until he has a day where he's "disconnected".

So...what do I do here? They have proof from the eval chart that he's improving!! Most of his papers that come home are ok. But what about the papers that show he's needing help. Am "I" the only one that thinks he needs help? Am I making a big deal out of this? I mean everyone has a bad day here and there.....am I being picky? Just because he gets disconnected and can't follow thru on a couple of assignments.....is that enough to make an issue out of this??? Or should I just sit back since his tests show that he IS LEARNING the information being taught???

michelle

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Registered: 02-24-2005
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 11:29pm

Michelle,

This one is so tough. If you let it slide then things might get away from you and he might not be able to make up ground. That's what I think and it's what gives me ulcers. Like you said, every kid has a bad day but with our kids we really can't afford that...or at least that's how it feels.

With Chase (2nd grade) we do a sticker chart at school. He gets a sticker for each sheet of classwork. We add the stickers up and then he gets rewarded but the real plus is that it allows me to evaluate how much he is daydreaming. The past few weeks he was literally doing nothing in class and bringing mounds of homework home. For the past few days I have not allowed any television before school (a bad ritual we established when he started kindy). In two days he has improved dramatically but whose to say if that was the cause.

I think you should stay on top of it regardless of his perfomance. ASD's are lifelong, right? and IMHO if you let up then the school might too. Regards, Vicky

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 12:14am

You have just stated the problem I have had for years with Cait and continue to have. Often they think everything is just fine and don't even catch when she doesn't understand something or when she basically christmas trees answers.

I remember specifically in 1st grade she would not read the directions to the worksheets or even listen to the directions. She would follow whatever the visual cues gave her and often that meant doing the work incorrectly. Just yesterday she came home with a 5 paragraph essay she had to write the rough draft for. It wasn't finished in school when it was supposed to be so it was sent home for homework. I am glad it was because she was completely clueless and I had to reteach the entire thing and even write it with her/had her dictate to me and helped her form sentences.

One of the big problems with Cait has ALWAYS been adn this is the case yesterday, that they throw lots of verbal information at her and expect her to get it. To her it is just a jumble of words and it gets all mixed up and she has no clue what they are talking about. I find she gets more like this, disconnected, shut down, etc when under stress. And a big cause of stress is TOO much auditory and verbal input.

I can't tell you how often they think that Cait will understand something when she doesn't. It goes right over her head but she is expected to perform anyway.

Just keep doing what you are doing. I would keep ALL his papers that come back like that and express your concerns and get them noted in the IEP. I would wonder when he is doing that and why on certain days he is disconnecting. Perhaps they can provide some supports for that. Sensory breaks on those days. Extra time on task or 1:1.

I understand the frustration. I am still to this day working on it. SOme teachers have gotten in. Some have not. Some have learned it eventually but each year it is a new endeavor.

Renee

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 8:18am

Renee wrote:
"One of the big problems with Cait has ALWAYS been adn this is the case yesterday, that they throw lots of verbal information at her and expect her to get it. To her it is just a jumble of words and it gets all mixed up and she has no clue what they are talking about. I find she gets more like this, disconnected, shut down, etc when under stress. And a big cause of stress is TOO much auditory and verbal input.

I can't tell you how often they think that Cait will understand something when she doesn't. It goes right over her head but she is expected to perform anyway."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this could be exactly what Weston's problem w/ long term assignments is right now! I need to have a meeting w/ his teachers.

This is a paragraph I could have written for my older son, Warren, as well. He has such difficulties w/ oral instructions! and if I have to hear another teacher say "well, then HE should write it down" I'll scream! "He can't write and listen at the same time, for him it's impossible. If you won't give him a written outline or instructions you might as well just write a zero in the grade book before he even starts, because he probably won't even start!" Their solution was for him to ask a classmate if he could copy their notes-- we finally got the resource teacher to ask for their notes so she could photo copy for Warren (but I'm sure he only gets them 1/2 the time).

Betsy

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 8:28am

Michelle,

What you have said concerns me. If he's having difficult days now, what will happen later? My experience has been that as the work gets more difficult, the stress becomes more and the difficult/spacing out days become more-- maybe not quite that simplistic because they do mature in there as well, but Weston's "autie" behavior has become more and more and more often. His teachers have to redirect him and give him his own set of instructions often. We don't have an aide, but I sure would like one, tho I don't know if I could justify one for Weston right now. Isn't spacing out, redirecting, keeping Nathan on task one of the most important reasons for having an aide? I think it's very easy for ASD kids to get in the habit of "cking out" when they are having a difficult day and they find it's a great escape-- they tend to do the stim more often when they find it soothing (at least that's my simplified understanding of it)-- having the aide aware and around is a good way to head that off now.

Betsy

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 8:34am

Sadly, people, this is the kind of thing that leads me to the conclusion that mainstream education is not necessarily a good thing for my child, if they won't teach the way our kids learn, but instead penalize them for having a disability. I do have to stay on top of Malcolm's teachers at private special needs schools to make sure they aren't forgetting that he doesn't APPEAR disconnected and not listening when often he really is. My boy is a good little actor and so animated, also a good faker. So far, though, the teachers have the right training and pick up on his tricks and help him out. And then he learns, and even is improving in his executive functioning. But there is never a time where he would be required to just "get it"

I just don't see where EXPECTING people to just somehow know how to listen to complicated sets of instructions when they have receptive language disorders is any different than shoving them out of a wheelchair and telling them to get up and walk! (Which, unless you are a certain religious leader and can actually make that happen, is called "assault".)

Malcolm is flying ahead academically. His reading, writing and math skills are more than a few years ahead. Being in a small classroom is essential for his wellbeing. Keeping his challenges within his capabilities is continuing to build his self-esteem. Working on his socialization outside of school hours with NT kids is a challenge, but doable. He starts Little Leagus in a month with some pals on his team, crossing fingers that this goes well.

Anyways, I just feel like if he were in a mainstream classroom, my life would be a real constant war and he wold be consistently misunderstood... And I'm tired enough as it is!

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 02-24-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 1:44pm

Thanks for all of your responses. I also asked Steph for her opinion, as well! I also called my sister, since she has worked in spec ed and with autistic children.
Vicky....Well, my stomach aches too when I think about this!! One of my concerns is that if I let up...what will the outcome be? Will it get worse or not?

Renee.....I'm worried about when Nathan gets older too. I was wondering if this was a problem for Cait as well. I, too, have to re-explain Nathan's homework to him. Sometimes, he knows exactly what to do, but then other times he doesn't have a clue.

Betsy.....As I said to Renee, the future is a great concern to me. I'm glad that Nathan does have an aide, I just don't think it's time to make him more independent yet. I'm also thinking that he will also need help with "notes" when he gets older. Middle school is a scary thought right now!

Sara.....Boy! I wish we had AS schools here! But I guess I have to work with what we have. Have to learn to get tougher, I guess! lol

Nathan's IEP is on March 8th. So, I'm going to go thru his papers that he brings home (and past papers too) and bring them to the IEP. I'm glad that he's doing well with his eval test. But it also dawned on me to mention to them......when he does this eval test, it's not done in the classroom with all the other students, the noise, the chaos, etc..... I need to know that he's able to do the daily work IN THE CLASSROOM!!! RIGHT????

Well, let's hope I bring enough ammo to the meeting and they're able to see my side of it all! Thanks everyone!

michelle

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 3:24pm

Michelle,
Even though Nathan is doing well, you are seeing some unfinished work. Typically, I find that schools tell you only when a child has slipped so far behind. I would recommend for an aide. About the information overload, this can be too overwhelming.
A little of my own vent, we are still in the testing process. After every break we go back to the sqaure one. Again starts this whole adjustment period and the fact that he has to do school work. How do you do when you children are off? The teacher has been so nice and I have been spending an hour longer for him to adjust in school.

- Anandhi

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Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 03-04-2006 - 9:19pm

Hi,

I haven't reached this problem with Matt yet in school since he's only in preschool. However, I know that a lot of verbal and auditory input shuts him down and he stresses. With him if I write it down he reads it, memorizes it, and will follow it step by step by repeating the process verbally. I do forsee a problem when Matt gets into school a little further. My suggestion to you is to have it written into his IEP that for multi step direction projects that he receives a copy of these directions. I always have the teacher sign any school to home communications. At Matt's last IEP meeting I put in a school-home communication log to be filled out by his teacher and a weekly log from his PT, OT and Speech Pathologist so I am aware of the tasks that they worked on and I can re-emphasize them with Matt at home. I'm sure if you ask that multi-tasked assignments and instructions for long verbal directed projects be given in written form to your child, they could comply. Perhaps this will lessen the stress and give the confidence to complete the assignments. There is also no reason why the teacher can't pass them out to the whole class as not to draw attention to your child.

Good Luck and I hope things work out

Carol