Need to let out some steam!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Need to let out some steam!
6
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 9:37pm

OMG... my son got the best of me today and it is JUST the beginning of christmas break! I don't know what we will do for almost 2.5 weeks. It is so frustrating as a mother, that he takes EVERY second of my time. He is never satisfied or happy with ANYTHING! And there is constantly something new bothering him.

Just tonight (as every time we leave the house) the moment we come in they are BOTH screaming! He is almost 3.5 years old... and still screams for his sippy cup of juice the moment nothing "exciting" is going on. He screams to have be undressed, to have the lights on/off, the tv on... it's as if he can't do anything on his own and it's HARD! I feel so bad that my younger son gets pushed aside so often so I can meet the needs of my older one, who should be more independent in a sense.

I just wish there was one thing that could keep his attention for more than five minutes, or something that actually made him "happy" for more than five minutes. Whenever you give into what he wants... it changes or he wants MORE! I know some of this is typical preschool aged behavior but he takes it to the extreme! I sometimes question is he spoiled or is it his "issues"!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 10:05pm

Things have been frustrating for Nathan lately too. I do remember when he was younger, and nothing seemed to satisfy him either. I spent alot of time trying to figure out what he wanted, and what would make him content. And then he'd be crying or screaming all over again!! Nathan was also quiet, oblivious, and in his own world too. So I got both the screaming and the unusual quietness from him.

As Nathan started speaking better, the screaming did subside a bit. I mean, he still does this on bad days, but it's not constant like it used to be. I do understand what it's like though, and wanted to give you some hugs!

I'm not really looking forward to this xmas break!!!LOL My boys are both wound up and excited about xmas this year, more so than years past. Nathan is especially more "intune" to what's going on this year, so it is nice to see. But I could do without the tantrums though!

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 3:50am
All sounds familiar... I can't seem to keep this one happy either. She wants a drink, then she throws it at me. Same thing with food. Or toys, or anything. It's like she wants something but then she doesn't, she changes her mind so quickly, or maybe she didn't want it in the first place. I'm not sure, but either way it gets very aggravating. Luckily neither of them are in school so I still have plenty of time to divide between the two. Not sure how that will work if we start school.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:30am
I know exactly what you mean!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 11:37am

I's probably his issues and frustration on his part. Peter was a complete nightmare child for a few years. Behaviours very like the ones tyou are describing. DH and I walked on eggshells around him all the time, because he coudl fly into rage at almost anything. It was often completely inconsistent too, so we couldnt' figure out a pattern to these behaviours. (UGH- just remembering, and I am getting all tense here)

Two big things which helped us: Sensory OT helped him to feel more comfortable in his skinn, Also when his language finally kicked in (at almost 4.5) his frustration level dropped dramatically (and DD's issues started right around then... LOL).

((((((Hugs)))))) Hang in there. I know how awful this period in his life feels for you, but it does get better as they get older.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 2:37pm

I also remember the sensory diet really helping at this particular age. We didn't have so many problems at home with Malcolm at this age, as he mostly tended to "disappear", but he sure could get difficult when we were out of doors, shopping, etc. I remember we left him in the stroller for a lot longer time than most because he felt more comfortable in there.

LOTS of swimming, bouncing on the bed, pulling carts with heavy objects, we had a sensory sack made of stretchy fabric which we filled with small soft stuffed animnals and he would crawl inside and close himself in with velcro, roll aorund or we would pull him on floor from one end of apt. to another. Full body massages and joint compressions are still good here.

We do understand. I truly do not believe these behaviors come from being spoiled. Remember your child is delayed bacause of his sensory system and in fact, you are dealing with 2 much younger children, one of whom is spending much of his time very uncomfirtable and confused. It is tough. Can you take breaks, get out some? The best thing you can do at this point is as much SELF care and rest and recovery as you can, take care of you so you can help him.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 3:47am

I agree with the posters who think that this is related to communication issues. Some of the posters have said that the request is for a drink but he throws it.....perhaps it's the WRONG kind of drink?

The thing that made a big difference to us was teaching my son to sign. His language kicked in properly at about 5 1/2, but the signing was fantastic before that. Tantrums dramatically decreased as soon as he picked it up.

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