Need a little more advice sorry

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Need a little more advice sorry
4
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 12:12pm

Sorry to trouble you all again but I wonder if you could give me a little more advice on my son who is now 14 months old. I have had some concerns about him previously he was on the late side of normal to clap and wave bye bye, but did do it by the end of month 12, he began pointing with his whole hand at 11 months and at 13 months pointed with his index finger, he does point to both things that interest him and things he wants, he has some words like mama dada, more, no, and we think he says what's this, and also look when he points, all very normal for his age, my problem is this niggling feeling that becomes more apparant when he is in a room with children of his own age, he just isn't the same, he dosen't copy others aswell as his peers, he does notice other children and strokes their heads and babbles to them, but he dosen't join in the same way that they do. He cannot point to his body parts and he dosen't throw a ball, although he laughs when you throw it to him, his eye contact also concerns me, he does make eye contact but it is brief and he often dosen't respond to his name especially when he is engrossed. he plays with a variety of toys I haven't noticed anything grossly repetative, he makes some animal noises, and kisses me when I ask him too, he enjoys some cuddles and likes to cuddle when he is tired. Maybe he is slow to warm up but my brother has aspergers and with some family history I feel totally paranoid. I live in England and asked my health visitor to come and evaluate him re: developmental ped, but she clearly thought I was mad, but it is a mommy intuition thing and while I am open to the possibility that he just isn't the social type, I feel maybe it could be something more. Do I wait until he is 18 months? Do I insist on a refferal now? Am I completely barking mad and obsessed as my husband thinks I am?

He does pretend to talk on the phone and he does do shhhh with his finger to his lips but no noise copying or other gestures and no funny facial expressions. I don't know what to do? can anyone advise a neurotic mother?
thankyou for listening to me ramble

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 9:37am
Your DS sounds fine. I have concerns about my DS and he is 15 months old. He has been evaluated 4 times and he is on the low end of normal development. The dr's are sticking to the thoughts that he has a slow to warm temperament and will shut down when things get to overwhelming. Jacob does not do as much as your son. Jacob has about 8 words (backpack, kittycat, mama, night night, bye bye), shakes his head no, does "talk" on the phone, does NOT walk yet, cannot do "shhh", can point to tummy and nose. I have concerns still and I ,too, have that nagging feeling. Jacob is not as social as other kids, but he does appear to enjoy them. Jacob will imitate some sounds and will click his tongue when I click mine. BUT I do understand that nagging feeling b/c Jacob doesn't join in much either. But at this age parallel play is more common. I don't know if I have been of much help, but I can totally relate. My DD was light years ahead of where Jacob is now. I try to stay away from developmental books and I am just happy to see some progress. So, my advise is to pressure your doctor for further evaluation. It is possible that you will be put on a waiting list for that. I have been taking Jacob since he was 6 months for evals. (mostly b/c he didn't have good eye contact but he does now). Jacob is also going to start receiving services from the Help Me Grow PRogram (early intervention here in the states). If you are freaking out, don't let your doctor push you aside. Go back or go somewhere else and find a doctor who will help you out.
If you ever have any questions or want to compare notes, please email me at
sagarner@finneytown.org
SInce our boys are close in age we can really compare. Plus I am a special ed teacher (which is good and bad!), so maybe I can give you somemore insite.
HTH!
Sonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 12:13pm

It's hard not to worry isn't it.

You mentioned waiting until 18 months. YOu may want to do that. Unfortunately, sometimes evaluating them early when they are borderline is a waste of time. If the differences aren't glaringly significant you may get sent home with a pat on the head and a "it's ok mom. If you are still concerned you can call for another appointment". I don't think concerned mothers are barking mad. We are mothers.

Realistically, at this stage with his good skills, he likely wouldn't get alot of hours of support if any anyway. There is probably more you can do with him at home on your own than with a person coming maybe 1 time a week. They may give you ideas but you can likely get a head start anyway.

I think even parents of toddlers who are typical can use strategies like floortime and PRT to play with and teach thier kids. Perhaps plan a special time each day where you will work on those things that concern you in a fun way. For instance, with groups, start with smaller playdates and work up. Big groups may be overwhelming. Also at this age parrallel play is typical. For not answering to his name, make a game out of it like a hide and seek. Make a big deal when he does respond. Or when he is engrossed in something call his name playfully. When he responds make a big deal then let him go back to his game. Do it over and over at various times throughout the day and see if you can get him more consistent. You can do the same with body parts. Have him imitate you doing the same thing (touch your nose) and make a big deal until he gets it on his own.

Another thought is look into sensory integration disorder (SID). Lots of kids who may appear to have some AS tendancies but not all may have a bit of SID. The big groups problem and not responding to name kind of thing make me think of possible SID.

Or you just may be a concerned mom who has AS in her family. My first 2 are ASD and I will be darned if I didn't just worry over every little thing with my younger 2 thinking for sure at about your sons age that they had it too.

HTH

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 4:01pm
I am so grateful for your responses, it is nice that you all know where I'm coming from, I think I will return to the health vistor and request a referral to the developmental ped, then at least they will be watching him, I kinda feel that unless you present with very typical autsim they think that that means no autism but I know that my brother is high functioning and now at 30 holds down a job and can read emotions, they say things like well he smiled at me, like autistic kids don't smile, it's sooo frustrating.
thankyou again
sam

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:35pm
Sam,
I remember being in the stage you are in right now and it nearly drove me insane. I was constantly watching my son for "signs" and looking back now I wished I had just been able to enjoy him more. Your son sounds like he's doing very well but if you still feel like there may be an issue it's a good idea to follow it up.
Good luck!
Teresa