Need your opinion on my write up
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| Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:36pm |
I was asked by my sons Consultant Teacher to write up a piece on the struggles and joys I have had since my son entered school. She is conducting a seminar on Autism for the teachers in my sons school and thought a parents point of view would be good. This is a long one, but I was hoping to get some opinions on what I wrote about. My DH thought it was excellent (biased opinion of course...). I appreciate your comments and your time in reading this. Thanks in advance!
Amy
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A Mother’s story on Autism
Every parent’s worst nightmare is to learn that their child has a disability – in our case Autism. One out of 160 children are diagnosed as Autistic. What our generation taught us was that an autistic child was a child that lived in his own world that would only rock and never speak. Boy, were we wrong. We knew our child was different. We knew he was very smart. We never dreamed we had an autistic child. Adam taught us that being autistic isn’t the end of the world. Luckily, we had the support of the Special Education department. Never once was I told, “Sorry, Mrs. C..., we can’t help you with your son.” From the age of 4-1/2 the Special Education department worked with us to understand Adam and ways for us to work with them as well. One hand washes the other is a famous line that is true in our situation.
As a parent, I want to be involved in every aspect of my child’s schooling. What the Teacher’s need to understand is when a parent wants to be involved, they need to embrace that and work with them. I refer to myself as the “Parent from hell” and yes, many of you are nodding your head right now, but I want you to know that I need that. It is hard enough day in and day out to understand my son and allow him to grow. Especially hard is knowing that you are spending more time with my child than I am able to do. Being a full-time working mother is part of life and is something I have made the choice to do in order to provide the things for my family. But it still isn’t easy.
What we as parents need is support from the teachers just as you teachers need the support of the parents. If you don’t understand Autism, it is time to pick up a book and read about it – we as parents understand you have lives too, but in order to remove the stress from your day and the stress from our child’s day, it is imperative that you make the time. Every child who has autism is different – many have the same types of traits, but for the most part they are like any other normal child they just have a different way of learning and dealing with the world around them. Request a copy of the child’s IEP – study it and understand it. In the past I have found that a child’s IEP may not be read – this can cause early issues with the child within the classroom. Talk to the Special Education director, request meetings with the parents, read the child’s diagnosis, and talk to previous teachers to understand what they went through. Don’t try to solve every issue this child may have, because you won’t be able to. You will make a difference in the child’s life but remember when a child is autistic they change daily. When you think you have something in control today, you may not have tomorrow. Every day is a challenge and no two days will be alike. If you remember nothing else, remember to be patient and take it one day at a time. Losing your patience with any child especially a child with Autism will only make matters worse. Save yourself the heart ache and stress and just relax. I know easier said than done. I myself fight this on a daily basis. These days the fight is a lot less. Because I have a wonderful support system both with my son’s teachers and my husband, I know I can fight the fight.
Get to know a child with Autism. Your life will be changed and you as a teacher will grow from the experience. There are days you will want to pull your hair out, but stop and think for two seconds that they cannot change the way they are they can only adapt. Keep yourself first in the child’s education life. Don’t rely on your aide to handle every situation. Your aide is a vital part of your day and the child’s day, but when you allow someone else to step in every time there is an issue, you loose control and believe me children know it. The goal for the child with Autism is to eliminate the need for an aide. Studies have shown that a child with Autism can become too dependant on an aide and will often learn to manipulate any situation they can. Make that a goal for the child to learn to live without an aide.
Embrace the child’s obsessions and interests. Use it to help them deal with the challenges they face throughout the day. Don’t hold these interests against them. They need the stimulation and security of these obsessions. It is their way of getting through the day.
Follow the child’s IEP to the best of your ability. If you see something in the IEP that you just cannot comply with, work with the parents and the Special Education department. Don’t let the parents ask you why you are not following the IEP. Remember the laws in support of the child’s IEP that need to be followed. That is why they create an IEP to insure the child is given the best education possible.
As a parent of an autistic child, I have to say thank you for all the love and support you give every day. Especially to my child who demands much more of your time. We as parents cannot thank you enough for your efforts. The many tears and laughter you may have felt with my child and others like him will carry on with you for a life time. The things you have taught my son will carry on thorough out his lifetime as well.

Amy,
It looks good! I have to agree so many teachers don't do their homework before starting the school year with a child that's on a IEP (I have 2 boys w/ IEPs and the older has never had a teacher read the thing before he started to have problems in their class! then they get upset and read it and have issues because they didnt' impliment what the IEP said before they have problems w/ my son!). I hope the teachers really listen and get something from the seminar! There are so many things that all children could benefit from that really work for our autie kids!
Betsy
What a truly wonderful letter!
My son wasn't diagnosed until he was almost 16 and had already been placed in a bad "bad boy school." When we found out that he had Asperger's the school kept the EBD label until an advocate told me it is illegal for the school to label someone with autism as EBD. After the diagnosis I asked, at a school meeting, what the staff knew about Asperger's. Their answer: they'd had a student with Asperger's once. So I think it is fair to ask the teachers to educate themselves on the spectrum. My son got in trouble multiple times from this school for not being able to read body language; in the end that is what got him into serious trouble even after I printed something off the state's education website saying Asperger's do not understand body language. Sigh. I hope the other parents have more positive experiences and their children are not labelled as "difficult" but "different" instead.
Denise R.