Neuro vs Psych and definacy/discipline?

Avatar for nutmegspice
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Neuro vs Psych and definacy/discipline?
13
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 11:29am

I got in touch with the child consultant at Asperger's Assoc. of NE this past week and got some referrals for consultants for Sam's school (AS, nearly 7, 1st grade)

We had an interesting conversation about attacking AS issues from a neurological standpoint instead of the psychological standpoint that most behavior modification techniques use. Well that makes total sense to me and I think at home we do a pretty good job of heading off most issues using routines and rewards. Lately it's been difficlt because half of our things are still upstairs on the 3rd floor and slowly trickling their way down to the 1st floor apt and we're all thrown off our schedule....etc. Mornings and evenings and homework time is difficult. I think spring break will go a long way in helping us get settled and rework our routines.

But my question (or is this more like thinking out loud?) is that there are times when Sam is out right defiant. This could be just a kid thing that all kids do, but he responds differently because of the neurological condition. An example, he's finally gotten good at doing BMs on the toilet. We're working on using the correct amount of toilet paper. He downright refuses to use less than what he feels is neccessary which is of course enough to wipe an elephant. I've tried showing him how to flatten the paper so you have more surface area with less paper...etc. Well, last night I'm nursing DS #2 at bedtime and I can see Sam getting ready to wipe in the bathroom. He's got the tp roll on the floor and he's rolling rolling and rolling the paper around his hand. So I say, "that's enough Sam, stop. You're using too much, stop." He keeps going, looking at me straight in the eye with no expression at all. If the toilet wouldn't overflow I could care less. He had already been having a crazy night getting ready for bed; didn't want to do anything and was giving DH a really hard time about it, so I took away night time stories (which he hates and so do we.) I'm not sure it will help in the long run though.

How do you deal with that kind of defiance? Is that an AS thing or just a normal kid thing? And what about the neuro vs psych. thing. Isn't all discipline, reward systems, behavior/chore charts.....etc psychological techniques? What neuro. based techniques do you find helpful because while I get what she's saying I'm not clear on the difference between the two.

Chrystee

Photobucket www.idlehand

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:15pm

Chystee,
I don't think Sam is being defiant. It looks like sensory issue. My son Sravan is the same way. We struck a deal that he has to flust in between and not clog the toilet. I am glad that he is helping himself and with marturity (going to be 9 and he is getting there) we can steer him. Remember we all use to be part of spirited board.

Hugs and take care,
Anandhi

Avatar for nutmegspice
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:36pm

Kelly

I don't think you're being preachy at all. I'm one of those people that brainstorms when I'm trying to problem solve. I talk outloud....etc. Poor DH is exact opposite. I like to see the problem from many points of view or hear lots of different solutions before I come up with my own. I'm very indecisive when ordering from a menu though ;)

We have a naughty chair, and use breaks in his room. I use the naughty chair for times when I count to 3 and he doesn't comply. He usually does by 3. Calling it the naughty chair instead of the time out chair seems to work for Sam. I don't use this for sensory stuff usually for "give me that" or "get off of there" Breaks in his room are for times when he's over stimulated and all over the place and he needs some quiet play with his legos...etc. We also have a token system for tv time, he earns tokens for doing his nighttime and morning routines.

The move has really thrown us all off and I feel like we're staring over in alot of ways. Spanking has worked once for when he wasn't getting ready for school and was stuck in this silly mood. Despite all my efforts to get him ready it just wasn't going to happen. He kinda liked it actually and it snapped him right out of it. It never worked in the past as a consequence for undesirable behavior, but a quick swat seemed to help in this case. I generally don't do that though, he ususally doesn't need it.

Sam does argue during a meltdown over losing a privledge. He demands getting what he wants so he can stop crying. He's done this over losing tv time and the other day when I refused to get ice cream after our outing at the aquarium. Both meltdowns were my fault completely and I have vowed to not take away tv unless it's something really inappropriate or a safety issue and not to blurt out consequences when I'm getting frustrated constantly redirecting him during an outing. I know that he's doing the best he can, but I get so tired keeping an eye on him, the baby and everything else around us that I start to lose it a little by the end (see my post about going to the museum.)

Thanks for your post. I'm glad to know that other people struggle with discipline too during those times when nothing seems to be working! He's been easier to deal with this week without school and I'm hoping to get his chore chart and schedules up in the kitchen area tonight to go over the rules and expectations of the house again for all of us!

Chrystee

Photobucket www.idlehand
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 5:20pm

I also feel sometimes they are pushing boundaries and testing things as well. They are children after all as well. They still do typical kid things. It is just hard to weed out sometimes what is typical child defiance and what is autism.

However, it think thier behavior is way too often misinterpretted as defiance and naughty when it really is a result of thier disability.

For instance, I think I wrote recently of an encounter a friend had with Mike in the library recently. This is the mom of another autistic boy. Mike was getting frustrated and the librarian asked this mom to go see if Mike needed help. The mom knew that could be bad because Mike really doesn't know her well enough and he was already escalating. When she asked he said "I really want you to leave me alone right now" with a bit of a growl. She praised him for using his words appropriately and walked away because she understands. He solved the problem himself in a few minutes and calmed down. However, any other mom or teacher would have gotten in his face about being rude and that would have made things way worse.

Renee

Photobucket

Pages