new to all of this looking for help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
new to all of this looking for help
4
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 5:40pm

Hi I posted this on the IEP and ADHD boards and someone suggested I post here as well. Thanks in advance.
I am new here and to this whole process. My DS is 3 and started preschool in Sept. At his Nov conferences his preschool teachers asked if I would have a problem with them requesting the school district to evaluate him due to concerns about how he would not sit still in class and if they tired to have him sit by them or in their lap during circle time he would run away. I had seen in class how he would not sit still and had the same problems with story time at church etc.Also he will get upset about little things like time to clean up and throw a fit and run and stand in the coner. Anyway the school district just finished up the evaluations and I had an IEP meeting with them. They gave him an IEP due to social skills and the issues with being able to pay attention and be a part of class. They talked about sensory issues due to the fact that he is constantly touching other kids moving around etc and also has a problem with other people touching him. They also said that his scores feel somewhat in the ADHD range and right down the middle for aspergers(sp) There were 6 people on the team beside me and everyone just kept saying how confused they were because he showed some things and not others. I think we all felt frustrated. He tested above average in language/speech and average in cognitive. They are going to have him go to the school districts preschool two days a week and he will keep going to his preschool two days a week (2 1/2 hours) Plus they will have a teacher go to his preschool one of the days he is there. I left this meeting feeling very overwhelmed and am wondering if I should do anything now or just wait and see. Ex do I need to do anything else regarding their comments about asperagers etc? Thanks for reading my ramblings and would appreciate your thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 9:20pm
what you could do is get a second evaluation by a psych doctor.
That way they can get you on the path of what's next. I had an inhome eval for my son at 2.9 months and at 2.10 months had an offical eval where he got his PDD label. He qualified for some autistic traits but not others so he has PDD.
He has a speech delay and fine motor skill delays. So now he is 3, he has preschool 3 days a week w/speech and OT and gets outpaitent SP & OT and has a social skills group he sees once a week.
Asking questions for what's next would be a good idea. Getting him focused and combating the sensory issues. Occupational Therepy would help w/that. He should be able to get that thru school.
Asks as many questions as you can. Getting a good IEP for his is vital so he can make progess. They mold better at this age.
Good Luck
Nora
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 10:59pm

Hi!

I agree with Nora. I would get your little guy in to be evaluated by a doctor. I think its fabulous that the school is getting a jump start on helping him out, that's the first thing to do! My son is 8 now, but I was once in your shoes as well. His preschool also suggested that we have the school district come in and observe him. Their findings were not conclusive, which left me wondering and confused. We had Nathan see a neuropsychologist. We started this process when he was 4, and got the actually dx when he was 5. He is dx'd as HFA.

He is now in 2nd grade and mainstreamed with his peers. He did need an aide for kindy and 1st grade, but is doing well this year. He receives speech and also has a social skills class at school too.

Best of luck to you! Stick around and keep us updated!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2004
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 3:45am

Welcome!

Your little man is about the same age mine was when I started to join the world of ASD parenting. My older guy is a kindergartener now.

I can hardly scratch the surface of the emotions I went through, but I will try to discribe my first reactions a bit.

I developed a dual personality. Part of me did not think that my son was anything but a bit shy and very creative. I thought that even though my son was just a fine individual, I would go through the process of having him evaluated just to appease those with concerns. (It turns out my son is a fine individual, but with ASD.) For example, one of the concerns brought up by his day care teacher was that he parallel plays, and he was 2 years, 9 months at the time. I thought, "Of course he parallel plays! He's two!" I made myself think that I was doing others a favor by letting them asess my son and possibly give him services.

The other part of me knew that there probably was some kind of ASD, and knew that the earlier the intervention the better. (Yet I still had/have a lot to learn about that.) So I also somewhat agressively persued services, while in a kind of denial. I stumbled into finding an advocate for the CPSE eligibility meeting. She stressed all of the environmental behaviors of my son, which indicated that in the natural environment, he did not have the skills he exhibited in the testing environment. She also picked up on "sensory issues," and had the CPSE approve an OT evaluation. I had had no idea what a sensory issue or an OT evaluation was at the time, so without her at the meeting, I would have gotten nothing.

On retrospect, the outcome of the initial CPSE meeting could have been to do nothing, his scores were average, and possibly I would have been satisfied that my son was indeed doing what a barely 3 year old should do. So I am very lucky that he got itinerent services, Speech and OT, and these services helped him. I don't think he would be surviving kindergarten now if he did not get the OT to help his fine motor, the speech to help with processing issues, and the OT to deal with sensations of the world.

Also, on retrospect, my son really was eligible for much more than he got, and he should have had more interpersonal skills training when he was younger. I missed his gross motor deficits entirely, and he probably would be less visably clumsy if he had had PT as a youner child. So part of me regrets what he missed out on as a younger child.

My CPSE experience was that the CPSE chair does not offer or suggest evaluations except when they may show that a child does NOT need services. There is a lot of local variation, so don't be surprized if you have a better experience. However, my best word of advice is to get every possible area of difference assessed. Ask all of the people who work with your son if they have any more questions or recommend any more assessments. Any area of suspected disability must be evaluated for free, and there is really no benefit in waiting. I lucked into catching my son's sensory issues and fine motor delays at 3 thanks to the person who attended my CPSE meeting. I never did catch his (more dramatic) gross motor delays until he was nearly 5 because I didn't know, his day care missed it, and his OT missed it.

Most interventions for possible differences would not harm your child if it turned out to all be a big mistake, and that he does not have any developmental issues at all. I am in favor of erring on the side of over diagnosis if there is a gray area, and possibly over serving. Yes, he is only 3, and pegging down what it is he "has," or if he even has anything, will be a work in progress for years. The younger he is, the more responsive he will be to intervention, even while the diagnosis is a work in progress.

That said, you have to be respectful of your own ability to absorb information.

I am also raising my second little ASD guy, who is now approaching 3, and his behaviors also could possibly be rationalized away, yet are very likely "something." (He sounds a bit more like your guy, at least with the activity level.) However, I have him hooked up with theraputic nursery school and itinerent services because I have more experience now. I still can only take so much information at a time. He just had a psychological, and the evaluator was describing how she scored CARS, a behavioral autism scale. She said that he scored right on the line of...and I was sooo ready for her to say "not autistic and mildly autistic." Instead, she said "moderately autistic and severely autistic," and my heart dropped. All of this while I rationally know that I would rather err on the cautious side and help him now, and while I know that he has to have "something" to continue the services.

This is probably more information than you wanted. I don't mind a bit if you disagree with anything, or have a different perspective. Only you know your child.

Sidney

ASD boys, 5 1/2 (kindergarten) and 2 1/2.

APOV on Autism
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 8:07pm

Hello and welcome.


(((((hugs))))). It sounds like a lot landed on your lap unexpectedly.


Your son

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com