New to this board, adult son, age 20, with Aspergers, difficult transition to Independence

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2011
New to this board, adult son, age 20, with Aspergers, difficult transition to Independence
1
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 12:22pm

I am new to this board.

I have a twenty year old son with Aspergers, who was not diagnosed as a young child, though we dragged him to various therapists, none of whom correctly understood what was going on with him.I got plenty of 'feedback' about his behaviors in the classroom from teachers but I did not know what Aspergers was and I was also most probably in denial, as in you don't understand my sweet, shy, smart, sensitive son.

Our son is very smart but barely graduated from High School due to the fact he only worked hard on the classes that interested him. He went to community college for one semester and failed everything except astronomy (which he told me it was "easy"). He went back for a second semester with good intentions but left the first week. He told me later, "nobody talks to me at school". This broke my heart.

I had started looking at this website, posted below and reading books by this brilliant woman, who works with people on the Autism Asperger Spectrum, Michelle Garcia Winner at:

http://www.socialthinking.com/

I realized my son has Apsergers, he fits the profile like a glove. I tried to explain to him about making small talk to kids at school, such as, 'how do you like this class' or 'this teacher is great, do you like him?' and his response was, "that makes me sound stupid". I also tried to teach him the importance of smiling at other people, giving social validation with a smile,

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
I think talking with a therapist is a great suggestion, especially if you can get him to go at some point.

This part of your post really struck me: "I do not want to be his minder and his enabler for social isolation for the rest of my life. Not good for him and definitely not good for me."

It's important that you don't want to be his enabler, I really admire you for that. I think that with some help of a therapist you'll be able to figure out how to get him motivated.

I hope that you can find some solutions that work for the both of you, (((HUGS))).