New Here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
New Here!
9
Sat, 08-02-2003 - 11:36pm
Hi, I'm new here! My 8 yr old son, Justin, has Aspergers and absolutely refuses to go outside to play becuz of bees. He will sometimes come out when we all go out but ends up coming in after a few minutes. He won't play up in his room either if he has to be upstairs alone. Any hints on how I can convince him to do these things so that he is not constantly at my heels. I also have a 2yr old to tend to so I can't give him the all day attention that he'd like. It gets frustrating becuz he is a non-stop talker.

Thanks,

Angie8270

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 1:17am
Welcome to my world. My 9 year ds has Asperger, very demanding with an endless supply of quirks and also non-stop talker. I wish he would move his body as much as he moves his mouth. I have a 5 year old who has learned to entertain and take take of himself because most of my time is taken up cleaning up my son's many issues with the outside (non-Asperger) world. For example he will not go into the camp pool because the water hurts his ears. Only in camp does the water hurt his ears and it's because the noise of the other kids in the pool make him crazy. Bees don't bother him but the buzzing of flies drives him crazy.

In addition to the obsessions, anxiety and panic, we've just found out that he has hyper sensory integration dysfunction. A really good book is The Out of Sync Child and is an excellent reference. Basically my ds has trouble with noise, stimulation, tactile issues such as lumpy food, too acid, too whatever, and smells (he can gag on the slightest smell and actually throw up from it).

This is a great board, everyone is very supportive because everyone's in some version of the same boat. It's wonderful to know that you are not alone and can freely vent about the frustrations in living with Asperger kid (or if you're really lucky,like me, an Asperger husband as well as a kid).

Good luck and welcome

Leenie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 7:54am
Ooooohh yes, the beez, the buzzing, the stingers, the fear, the small child climbing thier father to get to higher ground (that must be safer too). I have 6 kids, 3 are on the spectrum. My two younger Aspies are terrified of bugs. This has been an ongoing issue with us this year. My 8yo will try to claw through a wall if she thinks a yellowjacket is within a mile of her and my 3yo recently scaled her dad and tried to sit on his head because she thought there were ants in her bed (turned out to be cookie or cracker crumbs).

We have been doing agressive specified education on individual insect types to help the girls deal with their fears. This does work, but it's very slow going because there are so many differnet kinds of bugs around here. My 3yo has studied everything from sugar ants to butterflies to pillbugs to earthworms. My 8yo has actually goten a lot better about bugs in general but she still goes into total panik mode if she sees a jellowjacket. One of her older sisters has been grounded for two days now after she said "Look! A yellowjacket!" Just to get her sister riled up. My 8yo actually started hyperventalating (sp?) over it, then broke down crying. Yup, older sister is grounded for quite a while.

I won't get into the non-stop talking right now......b/c after tonight I can talk non-stop about it. LOL

Welcome to the board! :) It's always good to hear from new people. it lets us know we're not alone. I look forward to getting to know you better. Just your short description of your ds sounds verrrrrrry familiar to me. LOL

Peace,

Candes (who is also double blessed with ASD kids and an ASD dh) :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 8:59am
Thanks for the fast reply. It is good to know that there are other people going thru the same stuff we are. We don't feel so alone now! Justin loves to read about insects I will have to get a book or print some info off the net for him to read. He thinks that all bees & wasps are out to get him and will kill him.

When you have time to talk about the non-stop talking I'd like to know how you cope with it. It's enuf to make his dad & I bonkers. He's been doing this since he learned to talk at about age 3. We didn't know about AS until 1st grade.

Angie8270

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 9:32am
Hi, thanks for the reply. I think my hubby & I will benifit greatly from this board! I wish I would have found it 2 yrs ago.

I also wish my son would move his body as much as his mouth. He has only ridden his new bike a couple of times this summer becuz of the bees & he might wipe out. He just loves to sit in front of the tv all day.

I relate to the pool situation in a different way. My son hates swimming lessons becuz he fears he will certainly drown. I bribed him with a chocolate shake if he'd jump off the diving board, he actually did it but nearly killed his teacher in the process when he actually jumped on her instead of in front of her.

I will definately look into that book, sounds like a goodie. The food thing is familiar, if we would allow it, I think he'd bring a microscope to the table to inspect every inch of his food b4 eating it. If there is anything green on it forget it he won't eat it, but he likes broccoli. Almost everything is drown in ketchup too.

Thanks,

Angie8270

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 12:00pm
One thing that greatly helped my son with all his fears (and alot of his excessive chatter - dr. said a lot of the chatter was due to his great amount of anxieties)was medication. First we went through all the stuff your going through since he was 3 until I said enough, he needs to function better in the real world. The doctor put him on Luvox (an anti-depressant that works on Obsessive behaviors and anxiety) when he was 8.5 years old. Then this past June she added another medication because things weren't as good as they should be with his anxiety levels. He is on two medications that have greatly reduced the anxieties to a "normal" level (think Woody Allen before and a typical 9 year old after), Luvox 50 mg and Strattera 25 mg (it's a non-stimulant medication for ADD symptoms that is similar to Ritalin and an anti-depressant that also helps with anxiety - he does not have ADD, if anything he's too focused). We can go outside, we can almost go on vacation without meltdowns and the whole house is so much calmer.

Unfortunately the downside (if you can really call it a downside) of the medication is that his Asperger traits are no longer masked by anxiety, so he's more Asperger than before. The sensory things are much more pronounced and the remedies for them are much harder to apply.

You mentioned the earplugs and that's a great suggestion. Unfortunately we've tried that with comedic results. One set of earplugs had a seam (yes that very slight seam that is in all plastic things)that annoyed him, then the silicone plugs were too squishy and that made him gag. I finally gave up and let him deal with it. So he doesn't swim until he gets home and take him to my parents or two one of his friend's house for a swim.

Sometimes being the parent of an Asperger kid you feel like a dragon slayer, hostage or a middle east negotiator in that you are always looking for creative compromises to get through your day or explain your child to the world. It's all worth it however trying it may get (lord knows I've had my share of bad years) because these kids are a truly unique gift. Just think if we didn't have Asperger people in this world, we wouldn't have half the scientific inventions that we have.

Good luck,

Leenie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 2:30pm
Hi Leenie,

I have been thinking a lot about getting the psych to put him on an anit-depressant for his anxieties. He just obsesses & worries about too many things, I want him to feel more like a child and worry less.

My son definately has adhd symptoms, we've tried taking a break from the adderall b4 but he loses all control of himself, can't sit still at all or focus.

I figured you had probably tried to use the earplugs b4. My son doesn't like noisy places either so I hear ya.

Oh yes, I agree if we didn't have Asperger's people we'd probably still be in the stone ages. My son actually wants a laboratory in his bedroom. We are planning to build him a big desk area and buy him a microscope etc. for Christmas this yr. Altho, he probably won't go upstairs to play with it alone anyway. But my husband is into science so I'm sure he'll have a science partner.

Thanks for the medicine suggestions,

Angie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 5:51pm
My DH likes to say "We spend all that time teaching them to talk, and then they never shut up." LOL. Infact, I was just thinking "Ya know, no one is out here buggin me, I can answer this post now......" and as soon as I started two kids found their way into my office. Sigh

Last night was an excersize in in social skills teaching. My 8yo is off at camp for the week and her social partner, Shortman(his real name is Scott, but we have 4 Scott's around here), was over with his dad who needed my help with some stuff. Shortman usually doesn't get bothered by my other kids cause they normally leave him alone when Jade's here. But last night at one point he came running into my office to hide cause Sam and Ayla were both talking to him at the same time, at light speed, no breaks, no breaths, different subjects.....poor boy was going insaine. I said welcome to my world to him and he about lost it. Then the girls showed up (looking for their most recent victim) and started in again even though they could see he was tlakin to me. Then the 3yo came in looking for me and started talking even though I was busy trying to pull the tweens off the teen. Of course, to top it off the baby started crying and no one gave a hoot if I had to go take care of her b/c what they wanted to tell me (the Harry Potty card game is soooo much fun Mom...) was more important than their 7mo old sister's needs. grrrrrrrrr.

And these are kids who will start the din and no loud wistle or shout above the comotion will stop it. I have to look at each one in turn, make eye contact, and tell them "You are being very rude......." and give each of them the schmiele about talking insesantly while others have other things that MUST be done. Eventually I got them all off into different corners, one reading a book, another watching cartoons, and another coating popcorn in beatnut butter (great sensory therapy). Shortman stayed glued to his dad's side for the rest of the night. Poor guy.

I work from home and they will come in and start talking without seeing if I'm busy. They complain about not having enough of my time but they won't let me get my work done so I can spend time with them. LOL, right now my 10yo is blowing a Balloonies Bubble, she sees I'm busy with something, and she starts in with "Mom how big as the biggest one of these ever blown?" Yeah, like I know the answer to that. LOL

Sigh, well, I have to go. Dh has started deffending himself against the onslaut in very loud terms. Sorry to just cut out.

Candes

editted to finish lest paragraph....kids had me flustered so mu I hit the post button by mystake...twice. I haven't had enough chocolate yet today, I'll go brew a pot. LOL


Edited 8/3/2003 5:55:26 PM ET by cl-drendrewolf

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 8:58pm
Hi,

My dd will be 6 in September and we have the non-stop talking problem. I sometimes catch myself tuning out only to be yelled at because she finally came to a part of her speech that needed my reply! She used to repeat the same sentence over and over but seems to have outgrown that thank God. We have to remind her constantly she has to wait her turn to join a conversation. She takes piano lessons and keeps up a running coversation with the teacher at all times! Thankfully the teacher is aware of her AS and redirects her.

We have a wasp problem too. She will sit by the window and watch me outside with her 17 mos. old sister and cry but she refuses to come out. She is trying hard to deal with it, she sings songs about wasps and their families and says little prayers each time she leaves the house. I finally got her to swim in a kiddy pool in the backyard but she jumps out every time she sees any suspicious bug within a 1 mile radius lol.

Good luck,

Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
In reply to: angie8270
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 10:22pm
Hi Cathy,

Thanks for your reply. Wow, that sounds familiar, we do the tuning out thing too. You kind of have to if you want to keep your sanity. Usually his rambling is about a video game or tv character or a Lego dude. I just continue what I'm doing and occasionally say "uh hu", "hmmmmm", or "really?" Then of course he has to get my attention when he really wants something. LOL Lately it's been "I'm hungry" every 4 seconds. He's packin on the much needed lbs with the Risperdal.

Justin does the same thing with bees, he'll come outside with me and his lil sis & is inside the moment he sees a suspicious bug. I've gotten to the point that I don't even sunblock him anymore, he's never out long enuf to get sun! LOL

Gotta Love 'em!

Take Care,

Angie