New here have a problem need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2005
New here have a problem need advice
11
Sun, 12-25-2005 - 8:23pm

Hi,

I am new here and I'm the mother of a beautiful 5yo boy with symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome. My DH and I are all alone in this, we have no support at all and certainly no one with any understanding of what we are going through. Our child is extremely bright and very beautiful but completely complex and full on. We also have a rambunctious four year old and between us DH and I we're exhausted.

We recently read a book by author Tony Attwood and I've read pages and pages of literature online and although Aspergers literature describes our son's behaviour there is one trait that I have yet to find a mention of and it's the most troubling one that we have. And so I came on this board to see if anyone has the same problem or has experienced anything similar to what we're going through.

Our 5yo constantly hums, it's as though he feels that life should have a soundtrack and he supplies it! If he hears a jingle on the radio he hums it over and over like a sound loop all day. There are breaks when he's busy with the family but when he gets going again he starts the process all over. If we tell him not to hum he unconsciously forgets and starts all over. There's no use yelling or getting mad because he doesn't realise he's doing it and he certainly isn't doing it to be purposefully annoying.

I have to stress that the humming is always an exact copy of music he has already heard - not monotone but still relentless. For instance we played the movie Star Wars the other day - I had John Williams musical reprises for a week!

Has anyone experienced anything like this? And if so what did you do about it?

Thanks,

Paula

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 5:21pm

Hi Paula, greetings from another Aussie mum.

Don't give up completely on the public school idea. My 8yo son is autistic (moderate), in a mainstream classroom and the public school system is working very well for him. But the trick is to find a school who is absolutely committed to anti-bullying policies and who will be flexible with IEPs. Oh, and an aide who understands autism and visual communication is essential too....not to mention a teacher who accepts the different learning style.

I remember being so frightened of the bullying that he would receive (my own school days were a nightmare. I think I'm borderline Aspie) - but have been so pleasantly surprised. Any bullying that happens is immediately jumped on - but more surprisingly, the kids of all ages adore him. I will admit that I'm always in there with explanations and books. And I address his class each year with an explanation of autism....and it seems that once the kids understand the reason for his strangeness, they all look after him.

I remember last year's athletics carnival. My son can't run - at best he can do a fast walk. Anyway, the kids were running and all entrants had finished the race and my DS was only half way there. The next thing I hear is ALL the kids cheering him to the finish line. We're talking every kid from every class in every house. I can tell you that there wasn't a dry eye among the parents or teachers. The assistant principal later told me that this was the defining moment for our school that year.

Likewise, I've recently started work as a teacher's aide at another school and am seeing similar support and affection for an autistic girl there. But on the flipside, I know of another school who did not address bullying until recently - and the kids in their IO class were shunned and treated terribly. "get away from me you retard"

Regarding visuals and understanding autism, our first year at school was hard. The teacher refused to use visuals and the aide was sweet, but knew nothing about austim strategies. So, for the next year I requested an aide with initiative and got one. His whole school life turned around thanks to this wonderful woman - and the support from his teachers.

If you find a great school, it can really work. But a bad school will be a nightmare (as you've discovered).

good luck.

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