New here with newly Diagnosed DD

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2009
New here with newly Diagnosed DD
5
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 10:25am

Hi Ladies,


I've been a member of IVillage for 8+ years, but for the past several year, have been a lurker and sporadic poster.

Hey Chanel and thanks for your response. I sent you an email.

Tenille

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 12:01pm

Hello, Tenille.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 12:48pm

Oh my my my, your school flat out lied to you. If she has been dx'd with a disability, and that disability is affecting her education, or even access to the curriculum, then she should qualify for an IEP.

UGH I hate when a school treats you like you don't know your rights. Trust me you have far more rights for your daughter than you realize.

First of all go straight to this site.... www.millermom.proboard.com. It is an educational advocacy board and there are some pretty fantastic moms who know the law really well. They of course don't practice it, but can show you what to do.

BTW, what state are you in? And yes also go to www.wrightslaw.com and read everything you can. It's a great site. It's authored by a special education lawyer. It's a wealth of information.

Good luck and welcome. Please stick around, post, lurk, and laugh with us. You will find we are a great bunch who "get it"

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 3:35pm

Hugs to you! Your daughter's school experience sounds a lot like a friend of mine's son. He was suspended several times for kicking the teacher and almost had the cops called on him - in 1st grade! The mom is now homeschooling him and limited social contact (leaving when he needs to leave) has helped a lot.

First, you daughter does qualify for services. She qualifies for an aid to help direct her and reduce her frustration level with things like writing. The aid needs to be with her at high stress times, like lunch, line-up times and recess when other kids can torment. She also probably qualifies for a smaller class room. Be sure that the room is for other high functioning autistic kids, not wanna-be gang members. Both of these can help reduce her stress if being around too many other people are the issue. If writing is the issue, a scribe (the aid writes for her) or dictation program (down the road) may be of more help. Tests can be done orally for math, reading and spelling. The key thing is to figure out what the trigger is, and address that. Occupational therapy can help.

While this next bit may be a bit far fetched in some ways, have you looked at her diet for triggers? I know several families (states apart) whose issues with gluten cause lots of problems besides stomach upset. Both swear that they or their kids (depending on the people affected,) would be considered autistic if they went back to eating gluten. Your doctor would need to test for this - it can cause a lot of different issues.

Also, the boy mentioned above, he has issues when he is hungry. He has a family history of low blood sugar, and he can not tell (even at age 10) when he is hungry. He gets angry, lashes out and has meltdowns. They just had to switch occupational therapists because the OT wanted to meet from 4:00 to 6:30 in the evening and was upset with him because he wasn't cooperating. (Not sure how many normal kids would cooperate during those hours though either!) When he eats, mood improves. But he can't vocalize what it is that he needs. Is your daughter getting enough uninterrupted time to eat her lunch? (Lots of schools have recess right after lunch which promotes kids throwing away food so they can go play.) Can she have a mid morning snack to see if that helps? Our friend does best with things like jerky or hard boiled eggs - the protein helps.

Another friend of ours has big issues with red food dye. He goes from a sweet, nice kid, to a tantrumming monster. The mom has put down that he is allergic to the dye to keep teachers from giving him cupcakes, candy and drinks with the dye. Is your daughter having her issues on birthday days or when some candy is given as a reward?

No, you are NOT a bad parent - none of the things I mentioned above may be a trigger for your daughter, but the school does not have the right to kick her out for her disability. Despite what they may say, they HAVE had other kids like your daughter, and they HAVE dealt with things in a manner where the child got (or is getting) an appropriate education. YES, they prefer you would go away rather than have to shake things up and find out what your daughter actually needs. They NEVER want to admit that their teaching methods are not perfect for EVERY kid - reality says that just can't be so!

If you have not already had her assessed for an IEP, she needs a full assessment. That includes the physiological testing, occupational therapy testing, and speech if you think she needs it. A behavioral plan may be needed to reduce triggers for her (maybe she needs to go to lunch early, have a snack, walk at the back of the line, have a scribe, etc.) Good luck on all of this and know that others have been there too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 5:30pm

Quick/temporary reply to all:


Thank you all so much for your extensive and helpful answers.

Hey Chanel and thanks for your response. I sent you an email.

Tenille

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 6:44pm

I'm so glad to hear that you are so organized and keep a papertrail!!! This will be very helpful in the long run.

See here's the thing about the IEP testing. They sometimes will not qualify a child for an IEP due to the schools testing. BUT they fail to tell you that you can disagree with there testing and request something called an IEE and have them pay for it. This means that you can find a PHD to do testing, your own speech therapist to do testing, your own OT ect. Often times schools don't go deep enough to do a thorough job, then fail to qualify a child for services.

For example, the speech therapist only "screened" my kids. Well that doesn't give enough info on wether there's a need for services. Finding my own Speech therapist meant doing better testing. Actually not just better, but more accurate testing.

The schools OT wasn't SID certified. Well hows an OT going to be able to tell anything about sensory issue's regarding a child if they arn't certified??? The OT I found was certified.

These are the things you have to find out, and you can either request for another round of testing (depending on how long ago it was that she was tested) or just disagree now and get the ball rolling. Also do not allow the school to say she doesn't qualify for an IEP due to grades. They tried to do that to me with both my children and it's simply not true. IDEA says it's not true, but again they count on parents not knowing this stuff. They just tried to pull one over on my son the other day saying they always give each child a certain number of hours of service on all of their IEP's. HAHA you should of seen the look on their face when I interrupted and say no thats impossible. Because if you did then you weren't basing services on EACH childs individual needs. I bet you thats the last time they tell this momma bear that one lol.