New here....here's my story....
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| Fri, 01-06-2006 - 7:07pm |
I've been lurking on this board for several weeks now and thought I'd finally post. My name is Michelle, 32, and have two kids, ds Dakota, age 6; and dd Sierra, age 3. I apologize if this gets long.
We've been having problems with my son since starting school when he was 3 years old. At least, this was the time it was noticed since I really didn't have him evaulated before hand. As an infant, he was a very content, happy go lucky baby. He was more interested on staring on what was going on around him. When he reached for objects, he kept his fingers straight and often didn't grasp anything. He did once and awhile but most of the time he played he didn't. He didn't crawl until 10 months and didn't walk until 18 months. He was always content in one place and enjoyed watching lights and movement.
As a toddler, he became obsessed with light switches, which he would have spent hours if we'd let him turning them on and off. Also, he was fasinated with opening and closing doors. He was very interested in car wheels and his most beloved this and still is is his two containers of Hot Wheels and his simple long car track. He doesn't play as much as he used to but he still does. He sit at high level to watch the wheels turn as they went to the track. We really didn't have any behavior issues until he started school. The only thing the ped doc was concerned over was his speech since he didn't speak at the level he should. He asked if I was interested in speech therapy at the time and, I wasn't.
Then came preschool and at his screening he kept getting out of his seat during their screening. Kept pointing and talking about the huge fan that was in the room. That was another obsession...fans! Anything that turns really. The teachers told me this wasn't normal with the things he was doing and was placed in a special education class, which he is still in today.
Soon after school started is when the major behaviorial issues started and continues today. I can't remember too much of preschool but I know there was problems. He was the only one in his class that remained in special education when he started Kindergarden. The rest actually was placed in a regular classroom. He wouldn't take a nap at school. This caused a lot of problems. He hit the teacher.
Now: He is first grade and has an IEP and is in a special education class since they feel he needs more one on one attention. He is very intelligent and does quite well in school academically if they'd be able to keep his attention on the subject. Math so far is his best subject and can retain his attention for up to 50 minutes. Reading is another matter. The problem is is just as good but it's like pulling teeth to keep his attention on it. The teacher stated that once they can get him to concentrate on his work he gets it done in 5 minutes and it would be all right. They know he can do but he just won't. They do a sentence on the board that needs some grammer correction and they always have to write it down on a piece of paper for Dakota since it seems to be too much having to look up at the board and do the work. At the beginning of school they had his desk next to the paper sharpener and, he couldn't keep his hands off of it. He had to keep turning the darn thing. They ended up having to move him from it and during free time he would play with the pencil sharper. Ugh! Another problem is his handwriting. It's BAD.
He has a problem in line at school. He often ends up in a shoving or hitting ordeal with another student. Often it starts innocently due to Dakota touching. He doesn't understand personal boundries. You can explain it to him but you might as well tell it to a door.
Last year in Kindergarden he had problems hitting the teachers and classmates, which is no different this year. He'd also would throw himself to the ground and throw a tantrum. This year he has gone to throwing chairs around or making a major mess of the room. I talk to him about it but like before I might as well talk to a door.
He also has difficulties riding the bus and listening to instructions to the bus driver. He takes off his seatbelt and won't keep his hands to himself. He as already been suspended from the bus for 2 days. We do our best to explain the rules of the bus.
He has been seeing a counsler since August 2005. His counsler toyed with the idea of ADD. My sister caught wind of the diagnosis and was a little upset. She is a teacher and had many children with AD/HD and strongly felt Dakota really didn't have it. She said she knew of a kid with Asperger's and strongly asked that I'd look into it before settling on an ADD diagnosis.
So I told his counsler and the counsler and I met with the teacher. He mentioned to her the ADD diagnosis but was looking into another possibility. Dakota's teacher out of the blu said that some of Dakota's mannerism/behavior was a lot like Asperger's. She had a student a year back that had it and, Dakota acted a lot like her. That took be by surprise.
I had later taken Dakota to a child psychtrist and basically the appt was a disaster. He stated that he wouldn't diagnosis him due to the fact he was only six years old. He was concerned about my son's weight. (he had gained 20 lbs in one year due to having his tonsils out) He was concerned that Dakota resisted the physical activity he made him do. He stated that Dakota was impulsive and immature due to the fact he drew a tree like a 4 year old and that his handwriting was terrible. Dakota HATES anything to do with a pencil or pen and if someone he doesn't know what him to do something with a pen he'll do even sloppier. So do to the fact he couldn't draw a stupid TREE he was immature and impulsive. The doc also stated that since I drove all the way there (a hour and half) that I must be interested in meds and actually prescribed him something. I never filled it based on the fact he only prescribed it was JUST BECAUSE he drove all that way. I'm sorry but I'm not giving my kid medication just because I drove all that way to see him. He wasn't even intersted in diagnosing him. He said there was no way that Dakota could have ASperger's since Dakota was able to communicate normally to him. I'm sorry but often Dakota can talk to an adult fine but can't too his peers. He often plays parallel. His teacher says that he often plays alone but if a student happens to be playing the same thing as Dakota they sort of play with each other. We will hopefully be seeing a differnet child psychitrist soon.
Other things about Dakota: He loves anything with a motor, trains, and computer/playstation games. He is obsessed on watching Cartoon Network. He has one heck of a memory. He remembers everything! He is very sensitive to loud noises. We went to see a movie and was scared due to the loud noise.
I guess this did get long. Well thanks for reading for who ever did.
Michelle


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Hi Michelle,
Your story sounds very familar. I would strongly suggest a second oppinion. This doctor was very very un-informed. (My nice was of saying he was an idiot). One common trait of children with AS is an extensive vocabulary and some with go on and on forever particularly about topics of interest or themselves. They do have a hard time with communication, ie typical 2 way communication and non-verbal communication. But to say he isn't AS because he could communicate with him just shows this guy knows nothing about AS.
My dd's first neurologist when seh was 3.5 who was supposed to diagnose her said she wasn't PDD because she smiled at him. Didn't matter that she spent the rest of the session under the table and wouldn't interact at all. But when he walked in the door she looked up to see who was there and was smiling at the time.
I rarely say this, but according to your post you son definitely sounds on the spectrum. Of course I am not a diagnostician and I have never even met your son, but on the information you have given I wouldn't accept a diagnosis of ADHD or whatever this other guy said. I also think you are smart to not just give your son meds because you drove a long way to find out what was up and how to help him.
Welcome to our board also.
Renee
Hi Michelle! Welcome to the group! I'm a new member too. I've found this group to be very helpful and supportive. My youngest dd, Lily, was recently dx'd as having PDD-NOS. There are days when she does so well that I think she isn't on the spectrum. It also doesn't help that people who don't know much about mild autism, tell me that she just doesn't seem autistic. That really adds to my confusion. But, then she'll have days where I can see why she has the PDD-NOS dx. She is also obsessed with lights, but since she started preschool a few months ago, the obsession isn't as strong. When she first started school, she kept the janitor quite busy constantly pointing out to him and her teachers all the lights that were burned out. LOL Right now she is more into colors. Anyway, I hope you find this group as helpful as I have.
Amy~mom to Natalie (9 yrs.) and Lily (3 yrs., hypotonia, PDD-NOS, neuropathy, 2 hair shaft defects, reflux controlled by med.)
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Hi Michelle and Welcome here! My name is Christie and I'm fairly new here as well. My 7 yr old son was just officially diagnosed in December 2005. Like you, all our problems started the moment he set foot in preschool....behavior problems out the wazoo. He was actually kicked out of his first preschool after being there for 2.5 months. One his last day there, the teacher told me that I should get him "looked at" because in her opinion he is "deeply, mentally disturbed."
Anyway, I totally agree with Renee and the others - get a second opinion. Our pediatrician (who has a son who is autistic) told me to take my son to a pediatric neurologist or a neuropsychologist to get him evaluated to rule out aspergers/pdd and the like. I have also heard that a developmental pediatrician can do the eval (we didn't have any in our area). Check with the major hospitals in your area and see if anyone has an autism center - that should be a start.
This is just my opinion (take it for what it is worth) but your story sounds a lot like mine - I would definitely get him a second opinion. I agree with you....throwing medication at him is not the answer (that doctor sounds like a quack!).
Good luck and we are here for you - let us know how things are going.
((HUGS))
Christie - who lives with a train junkie too!!
Hi Michelle!
My name is Michelle too!!! I just wanted to welcome you to the board and basically ditto what everyone else said! I also see lots of autistic traits in Dakota and would definitely get a second opinion. My son, Nathan is in 1st grade (turning 7 this month!), and he was dx'd HFA while in preschool. He was always a bit quirky, but nothing really stood out, except for his speech delay. But once he started school his tendencies really surfaced, and we started seeing even more quirky behavior!
Anyway, glad that you found us! Hope to hear more about Dakota and your family!
michelle
Edited 4/1/2006 10:38 am ET by littleroses
Good point LR. There are loads of things with my kids that I just took as thier personality or didn't even notice until it was pointed out by someone else. Most of those things I still just consider part of who they are as an individual, that individual just happens to be ASD.
Biggest example was I never noticed that Mike had poor eye contact until a friend mentioned it. I always thought it was that he was just distracted by the world around them. Always taking in everything or something. At this point he was just diagnosed AS but had been diagnosed ADHD for a long time before that. We were doing a checklist for her son (to see if he was AS) and comparing to my kids, etc. On eye contact I checked of something like his way fine and my friend let out a loud laugh and said "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! I have never had eye contact with that kid!".
Actually I didn't noticed Caits lack of eye contact either until her 2nd grade teacher brought it up as an issue. Same thing, she was distractable. As a baby we said she was looking at the angels. As a toddler it was that she was so smart she was always observing the world around her and didn't have time for us. In 2nd grade it was poor eye contact from autism.
Oh well, observant or poor eye contact, what ever it is it doesn't really matter in teh grand scheme. They are learning tricks to make others think they have eye contact but I care more that they are able to connect and have joint attention in a conversation then if they make eye contact. As long as they can learn to fake it when they need to they will be ok. Then again, I don't have the best eye contact either in stressful situations I have to force myself to do it, but I have learned to fake it too.
Renee
Hey Michelle, welcome!!!
I have to throw my hat into the "second opinion" ring, too. It sounds to me that the shrink missed lot of salient Aspergers points. A pediatric neuropsychologist or a developmental pediatrician is the way to go, IMO.
I am Paula, mom to Peter, 7.5, who is High Functioning Autistic, and Siobhan (DD), 5.5 who is officially "At risk for Asperger's", but could possibly have ADD (no "H"). I myself have ADD.
It sounds to me like Dakota needs more support in school. Does he have an aide to help him to stay on task? How big is the class? I ask because my Peter was very distractable and em... active when younger and two things helped enormously: A tiny class size with a huge child/teacher ratio (5.5 kids, three adults!), and lots of Occupational Therapy for sensory issues. A lot of his restlessness is caused by Sensory Integration Dysfunction: his body doesn't 'feel' certain inputs from the senses as it should, so he needs more of that input (less of some) to feel normal. Does that make sense? Anyhoo, movement is one of those things he needs a lot of. The fact that Dakota is "antsy", "handsy", and noise sensitive, makes me think he is sensory seeking (for the first two) and has auditory hypersensitivity. My kids are much the same. I think you should explore that option with the school. Actually, OT will help with fine motor, too and if he is having issues with writing, drawing and holding a pencil or pen, you should jump up and down and scream for it. They will often deny OT for sensory issues on the grounds that it "isn't interfering with his education" (yeah, right!), but they can't deny that fine motor problems will impact education, so they need to get right on that.
OK I'm off my soapbox now. Welcome to the board. We hope you stick around. You and Dakota sound like you will fit right in ;)
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Dear Michelle,
I hope you get answers soon. I do not feel like age 6 is too soon. You are doing the right thing by having him in Spec. Ed, etc. Hopefully, his teachers can give you some better insight.
I feel that I could have wrote your post. I have an adopted brother (age 9.5) with Asperger's Syndrome and very possibly ADHD. He was diagnosed between age 3 and 4. He was obsessed with light switches by the age of 2. We couldn't go for walks without him being fascinated with "underground sprinkler heads" and he would make us say that before he'd keep on walking.
I am on this board tonight because I feel exhausted and sad from when my adopted brother wouldn't listen to me tonight when I had a simple request. It's like talking to the door, that you mention.
I wish I had more optimistic words for you, but AS is tough. I must mention to you that my brother did go thru Early Childhood and then entered kindergarten at age 6 (since he's a June bday) and has been in regular school since. He's now in the 3rd grade and I witnessed him recite a 'BUG' poem by memory last week. Some of the boys in his class looked as smart as a shoe, yet my brother really shined. It's those moments that we cherish. It's just hard, being a typical right brained human being, to remember that AS kids do not think the way we do. Myself and my family are forever at fault for trying to correct something we have no control over.
Hang in there! We on this board will always be here to support you! :)
-Melanie
Welcome to the board!I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
Teresa
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