New - Perfectionism

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
New - Perfectionism
13
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 1:00pm

Hi, I am new to the board. I'm looking for some suggestions on dealing with perfectionism. My son, N, is 6 and very high functioning. He is just starting to read and write. At home he struggles when reading and he doesn't know a word, won't try to sound out the first letter and shuts down and won't try. Academically he can do it, but if he thinks he might get it wrong he won't try. Then when he is required to spell at school (sound out words and write them himself), he won't do it unless he knows exactly how it is spelled. He knows all the sounds of the alphabet, and can tell you when you ask and letter.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem and any ideas how to break it up for him and help him, his teacher and me out with this.

Ryan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 10:06am

Amy,

I found this article on ideas for helping perfectionism. Maybe some ideas to help you. It helps me to just understand my childs thinking!

http://www.autismtoday.com/articles/Perfectionist_Anxiety.htm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 10:11am

OH yes, losing is also an issue. But we pack up the games if he can't deal with it and play nicely. He has slowly learned we won't play games with him huffing and not having a good time. Sometimes I think, "well this is a typical part of a child" and other times I know it's him wanting things the way they should be in his mind. He goes into games expecting to win. So talking him about losing and preparing him for what we expect helps a lot.

Ryan

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:31pm

Hello Ryan,


I am sorry for the delay in welcoming you.


I see you have gottens (and provided) some great answers already. I am glad to see you joined us, and have been such an active participant already!

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

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