New, still trying to understand

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
New, still trying to understand
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 6:21pm

So...if as many as 1 in 60 kids have this condition, then why is this board not *extremely* busy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 7:38pm

Since the new format of the boards went into effect on Tuesday, traffic has slowed down considerably.

Andrea, mom to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 10:46pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 10:58pm

Hi Tara and welcome to the board. I think the main reason the board isn't super busy is because we are all very busy with our everyday lives. Between work and being a single parent to a 6-year-old boy with autism and a seizure disorder it leaves me little time to visit boards on a daily basis. I also am overwhelmed on a daily basis with the demands of my son. I suffer from depression and a host of health issues and I work 60 hours a week on average so by the end of the day I'm flat out beat and emotionally done with thinking about or talking about autism.

I also think there are so many great boards/support out there that many of us don't come here very often. I have a ton of autism parents on my FB page and I belong to several other autism message boards as well. It's hard to keep up. It does seem that since IV changed their message board formats, traffic has really slowed down. I have also noticed more activity on other message boards than on IV in the past year. I'm not sure why really.

So, that my two cents. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 9:18am

Hi and welcome. As the OPs have pointed out, the boards have changed format which is making some of us Luddites go NOOOOOOOOOOOO and be wary of posting.

You yourself probably know the Kubler-Ross grief curve and are working your way through it. I'm absolutely no help at all on that front because I never, ever 'grieved' for the loss of my 'perfect' child, or hopes/dreams etc. I never expected a perfect child or had any kind of trajectory mapped out for them, but I'd had a growing sense of frustration, unease, mummy-gut-instinct that something was 'off' since DS was about 2 and getting the diagnosis (when he was 8) was a tremendous relief. Because it was, finally, an explanation, and it gave us something concrete to work with. Much as I felt myself as a child the first time I had my hearing and eyes tested and we found that yes, I did need glasses and yes, my hearing was impaired, and no, I wasn't just writing things down wrong from the blackboard to be difficult or ignoring grownups who were asking me stuff to be rude.

Once you can accept the diagnosis and realise that this means that this is a lifelong thing that isn't going to go away, I think it does make it easier to use it to find out how to best support your child, and then act as an advocate for him or her.

To me, it's just part of parenting. No-one said any of it was going to be easy. Sure, I spend a lot of time in therapies, arguing with teachers, working with professionals, supporting my child, being driven up the wall by the frustration and difficulties. But I also get all the great joy, love, fun etc that comes from being a parent. And I have 2 NT kids who take up just as much of my time, energy and resources in different ways (to be honest, I'd rather spend time in an IEP meeting, which I kind of understand the point of, than unpicking the intricacies of whether Rooney or Ferdinand are the better mid-fielders which is subsuming my 7 year old's entire energy at the moment...).

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"

Follow my blog on


Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to:
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 10:20am
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 9:24pm